Why?

Why are we all so obsessed with having things we don't really need? Why are we so worried about what others think (which often leads to us purchasing those things we do not need so we appear to be better, or happy, in the having of them)?

Why is there so little awareness of how we feel (which when cultivated can help us so much in figuring out what is right for us)?

Why do we need so much attention from others (in my case I've been told I'm very dramatic a lot lately by a couple people I really like so I'm working on understanding why I'm like this, to draw attention? Maybe...)? And why do we think in the having of said attention we will be so much happier? The most attention we need is from ourselves, really.

Why is it that when we get in a comfort zone we stay there when being uncomfortable usually can create so much growth in us? Why are we so scared of growth?

Why does self care seem like a selfish act? It is of course but in only the best of ways, when we take care of ourselves we are more free to be there more fully for others if needed or to live by example so others can see how beneficial it can be to work on oneself and be inspired to do so.

Why do we always want that person who does not want us in return? Is it because we don't feel worthy? I myself often get crushes on straight guys, now I'm very happy to be close friends with them but somewhere I'm aching for more. But everyone does this, girls on gay men, guys on girls who have no interest at all. Are we this self defeating all the time? Why?!?

Why am I always asking why? Well, I guess there is nothing wrong in the questioning of things all the time, it's how I can learn and grow from the inside out. I'm usually just asking it inside myself, not in a blog or Facebook post.

Why on earth does it matter?!? Does what matter? Anything. Nothing is wrong, all is going the way it is going, whether or not we like it so why can't we just make peace with it? In the making peace with something we can give ourself the permission inwardly to feel what we're feeling and allow in more, newer or "better" things, or more of the same if we don't change our patterns. Or is nothing wrong? Or is everything wrong? Or is the concept of "wrong" wrong?

Why must everything always be labeled right or wrong? When both ideas are relative to each individual? There really is no purpose in so doing, so I'm working on not doing so. It's not easy especially when you're raised Baptist with such a strong sense imposed upon you of what is supposed to be right or wrong. But again, my right is your wrong, your wrong could be my right.

As was stated by Swami Sharananda in the movie Enlighten Up! "you are the mostest important person in the world!" Why? Because from your body you determine east, west, north and south, from you you determine what is right for you, what is wrong for you. From you you make all the decisions, from the context of what you have lived up to that very moment all of your decisions have been influenced. Or can you be in complete equanimity and just accept what comes to you as it is for what it is, with no ideas put upon it? I doubt any of us can. Even those of us working on yoga.

Yoga Sutras state when one emotion is bothering you, cultivate the opposite one. Then and there only can you learn to find the equanimity in that situation. So maybe that is my goal. Or is to have goals even too much for this world? We are all okay the way we are. Or should I say we all have the ability to be okay and to make peace with where, who and what we are at this very moment.

And maybe, just maybe, in the cultivating of this we can make space to allow in the stuff we really want. Or do we want or need stuff? Should we have goals at all? And should those goals including wanting stuff at all?

I love this concept from Aghora: At the Left Hand of God which states that if you're thinking of something all the time, then Ma (the mother Goddess) will give it to you, give it all to you, and then in the having of so much of it you will find that maybe you don't need it so much and then you'll find balance in the having a bit of it, or none of it. I've paraphrased this of course but its an idea I've bandied about a lot lately. How much is too much? Of which thing? What does it matter? Of all things! We only need so much of some things, less of others, and none of even others that we really think we need. So are we defining ourselves by these? Or are we just being and not caring? Maybe one or the other, or both!

But who cares. Why do I care? Maybe I don't really. Maybe I'm just exploring ideas and in so by putting them out there inviting to you to do so as well. There is only that which you decide there to be, anyway. So self inquire, get in touch, feel it out, be present, don't be present if you prefer. But don't ever blame anyone else for your life except you. And embrace it, welcome it in and then it will be more peaceful and loving and full.