I was just driving the scooter back from the Ganesh temple after having been to Sri Durga for breakfast and I saw the students around the coconut stand drinking their nutrition back into their bodies after sweating profusely in the main shala under the watchful eye of Saraswathi, the mother of my Ashtanga teacher and the daughter of the first person I ever called Guru, or Guruji more often, K. Pattabhi Jois.
I also noticed the lady across the road from the coconut stand making her breakfast meals and the people walking to their morning destinations, some of which will inevitably stop at the coconut stand or her stand for food. Some riding their children or grand children to school, three to a scooter, or ten inside a rickshaw, somehow. Some just sitting and smoking cigarettes or drinking chai at Amruth or back where I had eaten already at Sri Durga.
Many in cars or on motorcycles or scooters heading out to start their day. Many students who'd finished their morning asana practice already wondering what on earth there is to do now since for many that is the point of their whole day. Some will take trips this afternoon to nearby locations, some will just sleep and laze about the cafes all day, many will do nothing and many will work on their laptops wondering how others are able to save up enough to come here and not have to work while they sit at home and suffer through long days of typing and looking at screens that are slowly destroying their eyesight.
But I thought suddenly on this drive, god, I can't imagine not feeling at home here. I can't imagine not being here at least the majority of the year. I love this little town, not just Gokulam, but Mysore. And yes I know many on this planet would not call a city of two million plus people a little town, but here in Bharat it is just that. But it feels like home and the more I drive around during the day and evening, running errands or shopping or doing whatever it is that I manage to do here I feel at home and at peace.
That does not mean it is an easy place to be. Yes Mysore is often called the Beverly Hills of India because it has been so westernized by the frequenting of yoga students from around the globe but it is still India and is not an easy place to be. For me now I get frustrated much less than I used to, and much less than those who only stay here for a short while every so often to practice their yoga at the source.
Recently it's been cemented that I'm going back to the U.S. to teach for a friend on the east coast in New Jersey and then visiting my students back in St. Louis, although that ticket hasn't been bought yet so it's not settled just yet. But it's most likely I'm going back. But I've found since this trip is for sure now I am feeling anxious about it, not about teaching, that is where my heart is. Not about visiting my old hometown because family is there and old friends, my students, and a whole city I lived in for a very long time. But about all that is going on there these days.
That president for gods sake and the ridiculous things he's done or said. Enabling the ridiculous behaviors of all the rest of the country people who are still living in a bubble where only rich white men live, or at least that's what they think anyway. The school shooting that just happened again. The way people don't seem to care about their health and mental well being enough to do anything about it.
Now, I'm saying this in general based on where I used to live and the articles and posts I'm seeing on social media. Not all fit this bill, but many do and are less than interested in changing themselves enough to actually do anything about their lives.
I'm not down on the U.S., or actually maybe I am. But I'm okay in feeling this way. One of the driving principles upheld by the constitution is freedom of speech. I've even heard veterans say they fought in their wars just so the people would be able to protest them if that is how they felt, which is not how everyone acts there, but it is how it should be. If you believe in something you do it whether or not you're supported in the so doing of it, right? That's how I try to live my life.
I often wonder about the lack of self enquiry. And yes this is changing, but not quickly enough. I know the culture is based mostly on Christian beliefs but I do know Christians who do really deep work on themselves and encourage others to as well. This could help the whole thing. I'm hoping this is something that will change sooner than later, with all the "yoga" people seem to be doing there one would think it would be happening.
But actually most are only doing asana, not trying to use the asana to stimulate a state of yoga. Yoga is supposed to be hard, Hatha Yoga even carries a meaning that speaks to this. One meaning is Ha, sun and Tha, moon, so balanced out the two polarities. But the other meaning is with pressure, or with force, or willfully doing something. And yes, any form of physical asana practice falls under the umbrella of Hatha Yoga. So it's not meant to be easy and make you feel good only. It's meant to be used to transform yourself into the best possible version of you that you can achieve.
It's meant to be a deep self enquiry through using the eight limbs to work through your issues and by example inspire others to do so as well. Not only that but through the asana practice keep the energy flowing in the body, keep the blood circulating and the muscles working that this enquiry has a physical foundation with which to happen on.
Maybe I'm holding too high of standards here, but these are the reasons I started yoga and the consciousness, awareness, clarity, and alertness that I've achieved through this is why I chose to leave my home country. And at the same time it's why I'm anxious to return only just two shorts years after leaving. But I also have hope. I believe things can be better, and so that means they can start getting better at any time, not just in the far future but in the now. And in talking to many friends who are still in St. Louis I see that they are doing the best they can to achieve these things within themselves and within the community around them.
So I'll go and enjoy and be present while at the same time know I'm coming back here to my beloved Bharat sooner rather than later. But I still have two more months to go here, so why am I even worrying about all this just yet?!? Oh yes, we like to worry about shit don't we? Hahahaha, even when we are aware of it, so I'm just going to embrace how I'm feeling and move forward with it and enjoy my time here in Mysore for now. And I'll travel a little bit before I leave as well, and that I look forward to as well.
It's a beautiful day here right now AND I'm going to see Black Panther very shortly, after visiting my little Kali temple. What are you doing today?
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