since I've written, I know that. I had to get back home, get settled in and then had my laptop die on me, so I had to make some money to be able to buy a new one. Now I've got the new one everything is shifting, so I've been settling in and making peace with that. Well, not settling in, making peace though. And now I feel tired, so not sure how long this will be, but I do know I have many things in there that are wanting to come out.
Since being home I'm missing going to the temples each day, that was something that became so comforting to me while I was in Mysore and the energy in the temples is big. Palpable. So I've been trying to make my life the temple. Sharath talked in a couple different conferences about how most Hindus go to temple daily, but all go at least once a week on Saturday or Sunday. However his family didn't go often at all, because Guruji was a priest and he made their home the temple. He did pooja every morning so they never really had a reason to go. His point was that you can make your home the temple, or yourself. They're always saying my body is a temple, right? So that's what I'm trying to do.
I read this book about Kali and talked about how she is represented as every aspect of everything, but also as something to surrender to, and to invite that in and that surrender will bring transformation. So as part of my keeping my agni, my inner fire, stoked I'm chanting a mantra invoking the energy of transformation through Kali each evening. I really enjoy it. I'm also still chanting Pada 1 and 2 of the Yoga Sutras almost daily, but doing that in the afternoons if I can, evenings before the Kali mantra if I can't make it home to do that. Also been stepping up my asana practice, doing more pranayama and chanting shanti mantras and some mantras I learned from Ranjini in the mornings. I've also contacted the Hindu temple here in the area and may start adding a drive out there once a week. So the fire I built over there is staying stoked fairly well, and I feel really good from that too. Never let your fire go out!
Within this invitation of transformation came having to buy new tires, the laptop and having to buy a new one, the person I'm living with has asked me to move out. And there are many inner things going on as well that I'll not dig into right now unless they come out spontaneously as I type.
This is all fine and dandy and is what is happening, so I have to deal with it and be okay with it. At first I was upset, especially about having to move, because that was an unexpected expense and I just don't like moving. I moved just before leaving for India and thought I'd have some time once home to feel settled before I had to do it again, but that's not what the Gods have in store for me apparently. So I'm moving, have to finalize where still but I will soon.
Also, many of the things I have to move, are coming in my mind to get rid of them, then a move wouldn't be such a big deal. Hmmmm, this is a tough one for me, most of the stuff are books and books are sacred to me. But most of the books I'll likely never read again (all the fiction one, other than Lord of the Rings, I'll reread that until I die I think) and so why keep them? There are a ton of used booksellers too, but all that I've called either don't deal directly with individuals selling, only go through their distributors, or they only offer store credit for the purchase. If I can't find a way to get rid of them for profit, then that is what I'll likely do. But some clothes and other things as well, I Think. Nothing is final yet but it all sounds good to me.
Is this a result of the surrender and invoking the energy of transformation? I think so, it's coming to not all at once, but in pieces and feels better and better each day that I add more into it.
I've got a couple weeks more of free time before the Mysore program starts and I'll have to move before then, so will be busy, but in this time it'll be interesting to see what more will come up, I'm kind of excited. Life is getting interesting and bringing that energy of India back with me this time has been more interesting and I hope I can maintain the way I felt and the openness I was able to achieve over there.
I'll write more soon, it's time to retire for the evening to read a bit then sleep.
See you all soon!
