Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Change/evolution

Well, finally I'm back to writing again, hopefully regularly this time and after just watching inaugeration address and the following speeches I chose to call this entry change.

We all change, everything evolves. Human, beast, rock, river, air, absolutely everything moves forward. But how well do we embrace that growth? How often do we hold on so tightly to the past, even get attached to it in an unhealthy way? I think most of us do it most of the time.

I fancy myself someone who embraces change and growth and yet I've allowed an attachment to persist so much so that it was to my detriment. Trust me, there is probably more than this one thing but this one thing is what inspired me to write today.

I began, as most people know, my yoga career with ashtanga. Practiced it 6-7 days a week, sometimes twice a day and even taught only it for many years. It was my life and I loved it and loved sharing it with others, until ... I got invited to teach a power vinyasa class. This idea threw me for a loop, do I do the same sequencing? do I do this... or that? What the hell do I do?

So I just went in and got quiet inside and let the class come out of my mouth, never knowing the next move and when I got caught up and thought in the middle of the class I got lost and had to let go again and let it flow out of me and it was awesome!

That one event is what changed my idea that ashtanga was the end all be all of my existence. Now I kept practicing it another 4 years, up until last July, but my mind opened to other possibilities which led me to a weekend workshop with Mitchel Bleier in which I was introduced to Anusara. What an eye opening that was for me? You mean I can open up my body with these alignments and I dont' have to hurt anymore?!? What?!?

So that started a process and as of last July, after attending a workshop at Kripalu Yoga Center with Desiree Rumbaugh I have not practicing the ashtanga sequencing with its fast pacedness and have embraced a bigger teaching. I still teach vinyasa (flow between postures), I just do it now with alignment pointers throughout and stopping periodically to workshop a pose and how to do it, get it to where everyone can attempt it.

The thing I mentioned earlier was that I still had one ashtanga class left, in Collinsville, at the same place I taught my first class. They loved it so I held onto it, but as my passion for it waned they could tell and slowly attendance dropped off and eventually completely failed most of the time. So I came to a decision last week to let go of it, and now the river of life is flowing through me again and pushing me forward and bringing me more opportunities and students. It was like that one rock left from my past blocked the flow of the whole goddamn river!

I feel so inspired to teach, every time I teach now and feel love and acceptance from students towards my teachings and even though I have two more weeks to teach that class, the old students have contacted me and are coming back to attend the class one or two last times just for posterities sake.

Its cool to observe this happening and feel it happening. Opening my life up to the change and to the new things that can be coming my way, opening my mind up to that change, embracing the new direction and letting go to follow it happily. It reminds me of the teachings of Abraham, from Esther Hicks, you have to make peace with where you are and then allow the things you want in. They call it the Art of Allowing, and if you put out there what you want but hold onto it so tightly it will never have the space to get to you, but if you put it out there and then step out of the way and live your life as if its already yours then it will become yours, does become yours.

I foresee great things for myself, and for those all around me and hope I can inspire others to embrace the letting go and allowing the good into their lives. Including anyone who reads this!!!

Namaste,

Keith