Yoga

There seems to be a lot going on with traditional ideas vs. tantric ideas these days. In my mind tantric just means that anything is accepted and embraced as a way to connect to divinity, and traditional just has certain ways that they do it.

Why does it matter? Why can't we be both?

This can be seen in the Christians, Hindus, even Sikhs, and etc. I say my stuff is mine, yours is yours. If I happen to embrace an idea that is what would be deemed by some as "traditional" yoga, then thats for me to do and decide upon, right? Vice versa, if there is an idea that some consider "tantric" so what?

I guess the point is, is if it makes me happy and I'm not imposing my belief system (which is ever evolving, mine personally I mean) on you, why are you worried about that? Because its easier to worry about someone elses stuff that taking the time to figure out what it is that you even believe or care about, maybe?

Abraham, as channeled by Esther Hicks, always says if you can figure out what it is that you want and focus on it for long enough, then let go of the results, you will receive it. That is the way the universe works. The problem is that you physical beings don't even know what the hell you want!

I think thats hilarious! We don't, do we? I do, most of the time. But I've done the work to figure out what I want, most of the time (reiterated). Why aren't you doing the work to figure out whats important to you and what direction you want your existence to evolve in? Or are you?

Just throwing that out there . . .

Autumn

With the shifting of the season, I'm feeling and seeing the shifts within myself.

Having trouble getting up with the alarm to do my sadhana, not that I'm not doing it, just having trouble getting up as early as I would like. Having trouble being patient with peoples stuff. We all have stuff, myself included, and usually I am able to deal through the strength of my yoga practice. But when you're having trouble getting up and so are having a less intense session, that makes it harder to be okay with their stuff as they throw it in your face, lol.

I seem to be eating less, so not having trouble going overboard there. I am also craving more hatha yoga, but in the afternoon/evenings instead of morning. So I've been doing kundalini in the morning, hatha in the afternoon, when I can find space for it. Which seems to be a nice combination.

Life is so weird right now, Yogi Bhajan spoke of the speed of the times, everything moving at such a pace, and you can really see it. Also, people who know nothing of the shifts going on are feeling it and telling me about it and asking my advice. Very interesting.

Just needed a short little post to get this outta me! Is everyone else feeling this as well?!?

Sat Inder Singh Khalsa is at the Pageant with . . .

Ok, I'm not really there, but I've seen this posted on Facebook about 52 times tonight. Erasure is there, being the band that the majority of homosexuals in my age group in St Louis danced to nightly as we were coming out.

My life has changed exponentially since those partying, drunken days (see previous posts) but for the first time in my life I felt a little bit of loss. I imagine its from the lack of community which back then was such a huge part of my existence, I guess I could say until a couple years ago it was because I was still going out to bars then, just not drinking so much, just to socialize. But as I got into kundalini yoga more and more and cleaned myself out so much that the smokey environment wasn't possible to be in for me anymore.

Funny how the hatha yoga took me to new places with my body and mind but never spirit, I never felt happy or connected with that practice, the teachings of Yogi Bhajan are what did it, got me to feel my spirit and a connection to it. Now I still practice hatha yoga, vinyasa, or ashtanga, many days a week. But my main practice in the morning is the energizing kriya work taught through Kundalini Yoga.

Why then, now of all times, do I feel the loss of community from that old group? Well, maybe I'm ready for a relationship. Maybe I'm ready for a group of like-minded individuals to live and be around all the time. Maybe . . . I could keep going on. There are many things I could guess at, the truth being I have no fucking clue! lol.

I feel great, have been practicing like crazy this week, which makes me feel even better but just a little bit, I can see myself at the Pageant (my favorite venue to see bands in) and hanging out with all these guys that I haven't seen in forever and some I have, just under different circumstances than I used to. Many still keep in touch via Facebook or meeting for coffee/tea or lunch here and there, so I haven't lost complete touch but I have lost touch--with that being I used to be. I have lots of space now though to fill with new and more wonderful things.

Ok, off here, just a short message. Have a good one!

Sat Inder, yes both, not just Sat, and certainly not Keith . . .

What's in a name? I've had people ask me that, recently. Good friends. Its just a name, why does it matter? Ok, so why does it?

I legally changed my name in March of 2010. Thats why. The name I was given at birth did not resonate with me and felt empty and when I spent winter solstice in Florida with 3HO Sikhs and kundalini yogis calling me Sat Inder the whole 9 days, I felt something from the name. It made sense to me and I liked having that name, which means truth and divine consciousness, be associated with me and my path. I loved it really, so when I got home I changed my Facebook account to read Sat Inder Singh (Khalsa comes later, after one has taken amrit, which I did a few months later).

I have a lot of lazy people in my life, I say lazy, they really probably aren't, but they call me Sat. This infuriates me to no end, not sure why. But when I've introduced myself as Sat Inder, why would the person I've just, barely 5 minutes ago, call me Sat? My fucking name, first name mind you, is a two part name and its Sat Inder!!!

Now I can't disregard the many who do make the effort and say the full Sat Inder, so props to you, you know who you are.

Ok, now Keith has been coming up a lot. Is it because there are leftover things from that personality stuck in my vibration? Probably... but for gods sakes when I just got my most recent Netflix selection, it was addressed to Keith Mitchell, and they have never even known me as that, I registered with them as Sat Inder S. Khalsa! How in the hell did that happen?!?

Its something in me, that keeps drawing the Keith out of them, and you know something? When I hear that name I almost don't even recognize it enough to respond, isn't that weird? Or rather, isn't that cool? I've done so much work and cleaned out the scraps of the personality that did resonate with that name so much that I can't even hear it anymore.

Of course, my family still calls me that, I, to some degree anyway, think this is why I don't have any desire to be around them most of the time. I have no desire to be called that anymore. When I am over there and hear it the whole time from grandma, or mom, or whomever is saying it, I seem to fall into the old patterns of childhood and turn into this vicious, rotten little boy, even though I wasn't that then outwardly, only inwardly. And so, they are upset with me usually, I can't even hardly bring myself to go over there and visit, for the same reason. I feel like that little boy who no longer is this person in control of his emotions and actions, and start to embody it! Good lord, I thought one day I would get past that point. And maybe I have now, I haven't driven over there in over 6 months, maybe after another so many I'll be fine lol.

So, if you're reading this, know this was a release. I am venting in a way, so that my irritation with these things will not have a hold on me anymore. But also know that when I've introduced myself to you, as Sat Inder, yes a two part first name that will take the most miniscule amount of effort from you to say when talking to me (Sikhs go so far as to say Sat Inder Singh, to differentiate that I am a male, since all Sikh names are bisexual, and I'm not asking for that, so chill out), please call me Sat Inder, not just Sat. And if you ask wasn't I known as Keith Mitchell before and I say yes, please don't defer to calling me that, since it is not my name anymore, spiritually or legally. Law insisted that I even get my birth certificate amended, so yes, it is not my name anymore, legally!!!

And don't get upset when I correct you, and say can't I just say Sat? No, please? If I've went to the effort of asking you to say both names, yes both names as in Billy Bob, or Jim Bob, or some hillbilly name that you would in no way separate, please say both names. Whats the big deal?!? Is it because they are not "American" names that are familiar to you? If thats it and you're still my friend, hmmmm, I'll have to think about that one...

Thanks for reading, I appreciate all of you, your friendship in my real life, your following this whether we know each other or not, and who you are in that it shows me contrast so I can determine which direction I want my life to go. Sat Nam!!!

early morning

Well, really, not so early morning as I'm used to! I'm usually up at 4 getting ready for my own personal sadhana. But last night I was up a bit later and for some reason couldn't get up this morning, so I'm up now at 6:04am about to eat some cereal and head to Starbucks. I'll do a little practice later in the day after my thai massage appointment, I'm giving, not receiving lol.

I've been strong in my practices lately and have been adding back in hatha yoga, in particular ashtanga sequences, again. Last night was my third hatha practice this week, at the park led by my friend Josh.

Its been feeling great and I believe its creeping back in because its colder, all of a sudden, and I'm feeling the time to go within for the fall/winter season is upcoming and so the more physical aspect of yoga is beckoning so that when I am in, I'm not completely sedentary, and maybe a few other things I can't put my finger on just yet, or maybe I can but just not verbalize them well yet. I also just read a book by a lady who studied with Walt Baptiste, Baron Baptiste's father, who taught a very intense lifestyle and many ideas that are similar to my Sikh/kundalini yogi lifestyle, and so it resonated that the physical is not to be completely forgone. Not that that is what I was doing, since the kriyas I do use my physical being, quite intensely actually, it just isn't the focus as with hatha yoga.

So, it is what it is. I am enjoying it for now, we'll see how long it lasts, but I'm enjoying the way my body feels with a more physical practice to compliment the deeper spiritual practice of kriya. I like it.

This weather is amazing and I have discovered that I almost don't think I can take the heat anymore, since it got cold, or colder, my peace and happiness is easier to maintain. This is a major reason to go to LA. Other things there as well, teaching to a major amount of people, getting to dive deeper into a sangat than I've ever experienced, and many other things. But a large part, the weather. Its cooler there, there are hills or mountains there, and there is the ocean there. There are many Sikhs and kundalini yogis, to support me staying on my path or even when I'm not so much, and there are friends there. Most of all, there is opportunity.

Opportunity. Hmmm, I've never been one who cared about that, but now I am interested to see how far I can take this stuff. This teaching stuff. What sort of changes can I make in a place where everyone is looking for change, embracing it almost. Here I have made a mark and get a lot of feedback, but there, where its a way of life to grow and evolve daily, god, I can't even imagine the bigness of it...

I think its time, I think I've made my peace with it, and I think I'm going to do it. Remind me of this when you read the blog that says I'm not going anywhere, will you please?!? lol

Sat Nam jis, get out there and enjoy this weather! And life!