Rumi

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” So recently I've put this quote as my status on Facebook twice, within about a week of one another. And just as I was about to write my last blog entry, I saw it again in my Facebook feed, someone else having shared it as well. I thought, why this quote so much lately? If I'm following the law of attraction and where I'm vibrating keeps drawing this quote to me, what is it about it specifically thats so pertinent? Love, all my life until about 1 year ago, yes, only just 1 year ago, was something I felt in an attached way, like if it leaves it will kill, how will I survive, blah, blah, blah type of way. Not healthy, but the way the general public would see it probably, so definitely not something I want to identify with being the rebel that I am lol. Love, I've come to realize, in a great part due to Summer Solstice with the Kundalini yogis and Sikhs in Espanola, NM last June, is meant to be an unconditional thing, not a conditional thing. I recently had an episode with a dear friend, someone I love very much and hold very dear to my heart, who's conditions weren't suiting my tastebuds, at all. Not that that is any of my business, but I'm telling you this anyway. During the middle of much texting and silliness, never once talking live mind you, I realized that I was not loving him unconditionally, at all. I was placing my ideas of what was good for his life on him, and judging him harshly for not complying. God, sounds like our parents, right? lol. Not that I was doing it in a parenting way either. When I realized this, I still did not change my approach, I fucked up more and more with him, and then he quit speaking to me until Thursday, so now I'm trying to be unconditional, and supportive, although its not coming across that way to him I don't think, but then, there's another judgment isn't it? God, how easy it is to do! So, he's not the point of all this, the point of all this is to establish that since I've restarted my ashtanga practice, having spent years going thru it daily, working the first, second and even about 1/4 of the third series into my repertoire, pushing through it physically really, not digging in deeper, and then spending three years opening my heart with some Anusara yoga, and then getting in touch with the energy that makes up our body/minds and everything around us through a strong daily kundalini yoga practice, and now getting back to the practice of ashtanga yoga, coming at it from spirit, from that underlying layer of things, rather than the top layer, the grossest aspect of our being, matter, has been amazing and has shown me that I am using the practice of asana, pranayama, meditation, fueled by my study of the law of attraction, to become more conscious and have actually, finally, begun removing some of the obstacles that were standing in my way. When you realize it, maybe you've actually done it, or at least started the process, right? I love knowing that. I love having taken the last 12 years of my life and dug in with these practices so that I'm finally conscious enough to realize that I know it lol. I love yoga. To be funny I often say that I hate yoga, because before it I was unconscious of the fact that when you become conscious you can be less miserable, so you actually don't know that you're miserable at all. Ignorance is bliss in other words lol, but in all actuality, I do not hate it. Sure it was easier before, now I know, so everything seems to be more work, but as you clean the dust of the mirror of your heart, swipe by swipe, and maybe even have to go back over the same spot again occasionally, you feel more clear, more aware, more present with those in your life, more present with yourself, and yes, more love for yourself and others. It is true, it does happen and it is happening to me and all those that are vibrating in my vicinity right now, and I appreciate each and every one of you who floats into my existence, each and every time, even if I'm having a moment of ick as I pull out the cloth to wipe another spot clean on that mirror. So know that underneath is always love, for you, and for me, and for the fact of our coming together at that moment. I Love you, very much...

Name change

So, a few years ago I changed my name legally, as part of a transition in my life which included becoming a Sikh and embracing kundalini yoga as a major part of my path. Now I'm changing the name of my blog to reflect the changes I feel have happened and are still continuing to happen now. Just to name a few, I've almost quit practicing kundalini, not completely, but instead of a big kriya daily, its a once a week big kriya thing, and daily reading japji and a little 3 minute meditation. I've began practicing ashtanga again, full 6 day a week practice and am seeing major physical results, mental results and energetic results, so I know its right for me, right now. My friendships have even started a shift, growing apart from some whom I thought I never would because they are not growing or shifting, and coming to some people who are a complete surprise to me that I would ever be around. There is more, but that isn't the point of this conversation right now, maybe later. I'm a huge believer in the Law of Attraction, and if you know me, you already knew that. Not even a believer really, because I know it is the underlying truth of the universe, that we are truly in control of our lives, even if we disbelieve it and deny that, then that is our truth and the law still gives us what we believe in, or where we are vibrating at, as Abraham would put it. Anyhow, so I believe in this as reality, and here I am labeling the place I live in as being under the mud by calling it Yogi in the Mud, or rather the mentality of the people here, including myself I might add, as being stuck in the mud. And I am encountering so much light and enlightenment from so many folks lately, and so many blessings from the universe lately, that how can I call it that anymore? I've even had trouble writing on the blog and now when it dawned on me that it was the name, I believe it was due to that fact. I couldn't support that anymore, it wasn't my truth anymore. I don't deny that the midwest, especially the St Louis area, are slower to evolve to the next level of consciousness, and may always be, but damn it, they have come a lot further than I was giving them credit for, myself included again, and its time for me to acknowledge that. Also, by labeling them I am labeling them! I am the most tired of labels, and used to the first and worst one at assigning them lol. I'm a gay man, I'm a yoga teacher, I'm this, I'm that. How about, I'm a human being, being the best human that I can be right now? That sounds good to me. So, what to call it? I didn't deliberate long, as I was telling my friend Monica that I needed to change it and believed that would free up my flow of writing again, it popped into my head. Yogi in the Sun. I've got a great tan right now, due to being in the sun and the early spring we've had, having 80s and 90s in February, so there's one thing. I've been in the sun a lot. Ok, so symbolically what does that mean? To me it means that the light has been shined on me a little bit, meaning the light of consciousness, the light of that inner reality. Even the true meaning of the word guru could apply, gu=darkness, ru=light, therefore that which shines the light within the darkness, or a teacher if you will. So I feel a little more light in my life lately, and in feeling that I've drawn more and more who also have had a little light shed in their lives, or their beings, as well. So I'm not surrounded by darkness, unless I see it that way. So I chose to see I'm surrounded by light, and am receiving proof of that, more and more each day. The law of attraction would say that if you see this blog, you also are feeling that same way, because if you weren't vibrating in vacinity of this as a truth for yourself, you wouldn't even be able to see this, and therefore it would pass by in your facebook feed un-noticed. So, if you're seeing this, are you experiencing the light? If you don't think you are and yet you've still seen this, maybe rethink that, and look around for it, its there. Appreciate it, and every situation where you feel ease and light, and then you can only draw more of it to you. Bless you and hope to see you all soon!