Finally settling in...

So today is Saturday November the 28th and its been an amazing day.

I've been having trouble sleeping and that's not something I am going to get into right now, and last night even though it was quiet, was no exception. I did however fall back asleep and get about 5 hours all told before I had to get up very early to get to the shala for led class. I hadn't a lot of energy but I decided I was just going to surrender and not put any physical effort into practice other than with my breath. So, that's what I did. I did not hold chattering at all, I didn't lift up and jump back or jump through. I did the laziest versions of all these things that I could do. And surprisingly enough the practice ended up energizing me and making me feel great.

After that I had chai with some friends after our after practice coconuts, then home to oil my hair and body and then have a hot shower before heading for an Indian breakfast with a great group of friends at Sri Durga. I got to introduce a new friend to a couple of the local specialties. And it was a great breakfast.

Then we headed back to the shala for conference with our teacher Sharath.

Last season many of the conferences completely inspired me and filled me full of good stuff to take back home, but since I've been here this time they've been just so so. This one was far beyond that though and started getting my heart juices flowing again and reinvigorated me with the reason why I am here at all. The fact that this practice is a whole lifestyle and is so much more than just the asanas. Now he always says many of these things, but today he dug into it more deeply and his son was there with him which is also a tug on the heart strings, seeing them interact with one another. Sambav is a mini version of Sharath and you can almost imagine what a precocious child he was himself, but also just adorable and funny, which Sharath still is actually.

I'm not going to get into the particulars of what he talked about because that wasn't the point. The point for me is how it affected me and how it will come back out of me in the future, in my teaching and in my life, so that will come in time.

Fumika and I talked later about how much respect we have for him and the disciplined lifestyle he leads and from the teachings he learned from his grandfather how he just keeps wanting to share it with us.

He did address one thing I was most impressed with and I will talk a bit about. Someone asked about some friends of his back home, I believe he was Russian and where he lives there is no authorized teacher and how the new rule of having to study with one or a certified teacher for a few months before being able to apply to study with Sharath is now necessary, so they are wanting to come but won't get to. What should he tell them? And Sharath was right on the ball with his answer and said tell them to wait until you're authorized and then you can teach them and then they can come here. The he went on to expound upon why he set the rule and how with so many coming he can't give them the energy he would need to give them to be able to accept them as a student, so by having them learn all the basics with one of his teachers, who he has approved, then he can know and trust they will know the basics at least when they come and he can help to advance their practice.

In saying this he's not only showing his belief and his support in the teachers he's taken time to cultivate and has authorized them but he's also taking care of himself but not taking on too much, even though he really still does I think. I really appreciated that and it made me appreciate him even more than I did before.

After conference we sped off to see the new installment of the Hunger Games movie franchise, also the final film in the series. It really stuck to the book and I loved it. After that we ate at Dhatu, which I haven't been to much this trip for some reason, and it was really good too.

So I guess I'm just having a damn good day! I'm feeling settled into the groove again of this place and the yoga is taking great affect on my body and mind. At first a lot of emotion was coming out but now its feeling more like I'm integrating those lessons and am able to bring myself around to a more neutral mental place before just reacting and that feels nice.

Now the progress begins. I talked with someone the other day about how one month here really isn't long enough since the first month seems like you're being cut open, the second month feels like the surgery is happening and then the third month is really like being sewn back up. Now at the end of my first month, November, I'm feeling ready for the shifts and realizations that can happen during the surgery!

How are you feeling?

Almost a month here already?!?

It doesn't seem possible that I'm already starting my fourth week of practice here. It barely seems like I've practiced at all here. Craziness I tell you. The first batch is getting ready to go home, some of them anyway, and a new batch will arrive soon. And of course there are those of us who are staying.

Last post I wrote about a lot of emotions coming up and out and that is still going on, but what I find is affecting me the most is the getting up so early. At home I go to bed around 7:30-8pm to wake up at 2:30am to begin practice by 3am so that I can do my asanas, pranayama and chanting before showering, eating breakfast and then heading out to teach. So I come her and get the 4:30am time slot, which is fine by me, and then start getting up again at 2:30 to be ready to practice by 4 (they let us in really early and we actually start at 4am, not 4:30am). The difference is that here I don't have to be anywhere, so don't have to rush through my practice by a certain time.

But last week it was getting to me, the waking up so early. I really felt like not going every day, but I still got up and made it every day. Now today I overslept and missed practice, so am feeling mentally icky and a bit judgmental about it, but I know it will also be okay.

This trip seems to be more emotional in general, not just for me, but for everyone I talk to. This is all a part of the yogic path though, bringing things to the surface to figure them out and not allow that pattern to keep having prominence in your life. Only to move on to another thing to come up and deal with and another and another, it seems. Funny the things we do to ourselves on purpose. But its all in the order of things here in Mysore, we come here for the deeper work. Sure, also to learn new asanas, but mostly to deal with the releases those new asanas give us and live with the diversity so that we can become better people and hopefully learn to live as the example to others as well.

I came here with a large beard, and a growing one too, it seems like its gotten an inch longer since I've been here. But also this need for letting of things has led me to want to cut it off, so I think I'll be to a barber later today to have them cut it short. Often times this is symbolic for me of the letting go I'm trying to enact in my daily life, and that I am feeling as well. Not sure what I'm letting go of but I feel the need to not hold on to anything right now, especially as some of my friends are leaving and new ones will be returning.

I also find myself wanting to hole up and watch movies or tv shows, and so I'm doing a bit of that. I'm enjoying the escape of these shows right now and am not going to judge myself about them, I'm just going to enjoy watching them. I'm trying to follow what feels good and allow that to dictate what I'm doing and so they feel good for now!

We'll see how the rest of this week goes, as I show up for class tomorrow and the rest of the week minus Wednesday which is the full moon here, but maybe I'll practice anyway since I missed today? Maybe not. Again, I'll see how it feels when I wake up that day and go from there.

I'm always wanting to put pics on here as well, but have yet to figure out how to make that happen, if anyone knows feel free to message me about it, thank you!

beginning the third week here..

So this is the third week I'm here, but the second full week of practicing in the shala has just completed. This time the practice is like I'm going backwards instead of progressing forward. Back bending has been phenomenal but twisting and binding has almost felt as it its impossible.

I just talked with a lady who is here for her first time and she was saying, its like I'm taking one step forward and then two steps back. And I'll be damned it that didn't manifest in my body that same week lol. We'll see how this week goes, its a full 6 day week, so no interruptions and that usually helps sort me out, today being the first led class of the week, the next four days will be Mysore style practice ending with another led primary series class.

Another thing has been the emotions coming up. Last Wednesday was the new moon and it was intense the day after and Friday with emotional release after I'd practice, so I took my own version of a ladies holiday on Saturday and Sunday is our normal day off. Shhhhh, don't tell Sharath, he hasn't asked me about it yet.

My friend and student who is here with me has also had a trying time with getting sick a few times already and having family stuff going on back home, so I think this trip is going to be a doozy. A lot of stuff coming up to see how we deal with it, but then I guess each time has its stuff. Last trip was my back and diarrhea, the first one was my weight and anger. I'll let this one unfold and not try to label what it's throwing at me, just try to receive it and be present with whatever comes up.

I thought I had a lot more to write but apparently I don't. I'm sure there will be much more to come, but we'll see.

First week complete...

It's been quite a while since I wrote anything on here, so here it goes.

It's going on my second week back in Mysore but my first full week of practice, tomorrow is our day off. To celebrate we had pizza and chocolate malts which was all so good!

My first week back feels great. I typically don't like led classes and he started out the week with two of them, the first of which was actually fine and the next day was even better. Then we had three days of Mysore in a row, which is self practice of the Ashtanga method and we all had to do primary series since its the first week, then another led class today.

I must say each day my practice got better, felt more amazing and my back bending opened up more and more each of the three Mysore days. Then today's led class was a bust. I got through it, did every posture, but it was like pulling teeth and before that waking up was miserable. I've gotten up pretty easily all week but not this morning!

After practice, since this season I'm starting at 4:30am, really 4am because they are letting us in so early so far, I have plenty of time to get home, chill out, take a hot shower and rub down with oil before heading out of the house for breakfast. Today me and three others went for Indian breakfast at Sri Durga and damn was it so good! I love the Westernized places for breakfast, they are a good place to read and chill, or visit with friends too, but Indian food is so good first thing in the morning I must say.

And today after the led class was conference with Sharath. Last season as the weeks went by he got more and more in the swing and said more and more inspiring things that left me speechless sometimes, crying sometimes, very deeply reflective other times. Today was sort of a generic start off that talked about the deeper dimension of Ashtanga yoga, the 8 limbs. Stuff most of know or have heard of but a good intro for new people. That hall was more packed than I've ever seen it though, I think since he laid out the new rule about having to have studied with an authorized teacher before coming here to see him that many, many new people are going to Saraswathi, so she must be packed, because it was packed in there with many I see around town but not in class with me, but then again I don't see as many people as i used to because I'm so early this year.

When I got here I was among a very few Westerners here already and it was nice to be here so early and watch as so many arrived, fun too because I know so many of them and was and am so happy to see them again. We definitely have a unique thing going on here where we come from so many corners of the globe to meet at this one little town in the middle of south India. I'm very glad to be a part of this too!

But it was also nice to be going around to all the familiar places and enjoying the food I love again and see the local people here whom I have grown so fond of as well. I really am living a blessed life, how many get to visit India yearly and meet up with old friends each time? Well, I know quite a few people, but none from my neck of the woods.

I am so happy that tomorrow is our day of rest, it is much needed, even though I am so happy to be back practicing in the shala with my teacher. And excited to start the second week and see what it brings. Also one of my students is here with me this time, so getting to share this experience with her has been so awesome too. But she is studying with Saraswathi so is also getting to have her own experience as well.

I'll end for now, but as I move through this time here I hope to write more. Lately I've been feeling more internal and writing in my journal rather than on here, but hopefully I'll find expression on this page as well. I look forward to sharing it with you!

See you soon...