Rumi

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” So recently I've put this quote as my status on Facebook twice, within about a week of one another. And just as I was about to write my last blog entry, I saw it again in my Facebook feed, someone else having shared it as well. I thought, why this quote so much lately? If I'm following the law of attraction and where I'm vibrating keeps drawing this quote to me, what is it about it specifically thats so pertinent? Love, all my life until about 1 year ago, yes, only just 1 year ago, was something I felt in an attached way, like if it leaves it will kill, how will I survive, blah, blah, blah type of way. Not healthy, but the way the general public would see it probably, so definitely not something I want to identify with being the rebel that I am lol. Love, I've come to realize, in a great part due to Summer Solstice with the Kundalini yogis and Sikhs in Espanola, NM last June, is meant to be an unconditional thing, not a conditional thing. I recently had an episode with a dear friend, someone I love very much and hold very dear to my heart, who's conditions weren't suiting my tastebuds, at all. Not that that is any of my business, but I'm telling you this anyway. During the middle of much texting and silliness, never once talking live mind you, I realized that I was not loving him unconditionally, at all. I was placing my ideas of what was good for his life on him, and judging him harshly for not complying. God, sounds like our parents, right? lol. Not that I was doing it in a parenting way either. When I realized this, I still did not change my approach, I fucked up more and more with him, and then he quit speaking to me until Thursday, so now I'm trying to be unconditional, and supportive, although its not coming across that way to him I don't think, but then, there's another judgment isn't it? God, how easy it is to do! So, he's not the point of all this, the point of all this is to establish that since I've restarted my ashtanga practice, having spent years going thru it daily, working the first, second and even about 1/4 of the third series into my repertoire, pushing through it physically really, not digging in deeper, and then spending three years opening my heart with some Anusara yoga, and then getting in touch with the energy that makes up our body/minds and everything around us through a strong daily kundalini yoga practice, and now getting back to the practice of ashtanga yoga, coming at it from spirit, from that underlying layer of things, rather than the top layer, the grossest aspect of our being, matter, has been amazing and has shown me that I am using the practice of asana, pranayama, meditation, fueled by my study of the law of attraction, to become more conscious and have actually, finally, begun removing some of the obstacles that were standing in my way. When you realize it, maybe you've actually done it, or at least started the process, right? I love knowing that. I love having taken the last 12 years of my life and dug in with these practices so that I'm finally conscious enough to realize that I know it lol. I love yoga. To be funny I often say that I hate yoga, because before it I was unconscious of the fact that when you become conscious you can be less miserable, so you actually don't know that you're miserable at all. Ignorance is bliss in other words lol, but in all actuality, I do not hate it. Sure it was easier before, now I know, so everything seems to be more work, but as you clean the dust of the mirror of your heart, swipe by swipe, and maybe even have to go back over the same spot again occasionally, you feel more clear, more aware, more present with those in your life, more present with yourself, and yes, more love for yourself and others. It is true, it does happen and it is happening to me and all those that are vibrating in my vicinity right now, and I appreciate each and every one of you who floats into my existence, each and every time, even if I'm having a moment of ick as I pull out the cloth to wipe another spot clean on that mirror. So know that underneath is always love, for you, and for me, and for the fact of our coming together at that moment. I Love you, very much...