Sat Inder Singh Khalsa is at the Pageant with . . .

Ok, I'm not really there, but I've seen this posted on Facebook about 52 times tonight. Erasure is there, being the band that the majority of homosexuals in my age group in St Louis danced to nightly as we were coming out.

My life has changed exponentially since those partying, drunken days (see previous posts) but for the first time in my life I felt a little bit of loss. I imagine its from the lack of community which back then was such a huge part of my existence, I guess I could say until a couple years ago it was because I was still going out to bars then, just not drinking so much, just to socialize. But as I got into kundalini yoga more and more and cleaned myself out so much that the smokey environment wasn't possible to be in for me anymore.

Funny how the hatha yoga took me to new places with my body and mind but never spirit, I never felt happy or connected with that practice, the teachings of Yogi Bhajan are what did it, got me to feel my spirit and a connection to it. Now I still practice hatha yoga, vinyasa, or ashtanga, many days a week. But my main practice in the morning is the energizing kriya work taught through Kundalini Yoga.

Why then, now of all times, do I feel the loss of community from that old group? Well, maybe I'm ready for a relationship. Maybe I'm ready for a group of like-minded individuals to live and be around all the time. Maybe . . . I could keep going on. There are many things I could guess at, the truth being I have no fucking clue! lol.

I feel great, have been practicing like crazy this week, which makes me feel even better but just a little bit, I can see myself at the Pageant (my favorite venue to see bands in) and hanging out with all these guys that I haven't seen in forever and some I have, just under different circumstances than I used to. Many still keep in touch via Facebook or meeting for coffee/tea or lunch here and there, so I haven't lost complete touch but I have lost touch--with that being I used to be. I have lots of space now though to fill with new and more wonderful things.

Ok, off here, just a short message. Have a good one!