What are we looking for? Do we even know?
To me it seems we are looking for meaning, but what is meaning for one is something else for another. So it's individual. There is not one GREAT meaning for all of us and we somehow have to see how our perspective can fit into it.
But another thing, does the one meaning we figure out also stipulate that each time that same meaning applies? I think not. It will changed with each situation and with each person as they grow and evolve and as their conceptions of things grows and evolves, so then a new level of meaning seems to be needed.
But maybe not, maybe it's just that we need to feel connection. To me connection is the key word. Or another word I've been using a lot lately is integration. Integration seems like a good word equivalent for yoga. Yoga mean union, union would denote integrating all ideas of self and "others" into our own being, and that is a constant process. Consistently adapting our new thoughts and inspirations into a concept that we can understand and move forward within that, as we think we need to.
I just wrote the word think, and many of you who talk to me often know I don't like the idea of thinking. I like the idea of feeling how we feel about our thoughts, that is the way to move forward and to keep following the path. The path that is not just one path, but is a constantly evolving road of miasma sometimes, sometimes sunshine and clear streams, and sometimes just a blank field because we can no clue or inspiration leading us in any direction. That is what I would call a state of disconnection, and yes, we all have them including me. I've had a lot of them lately. But it seems that tide is turning.
Lately I've had one week on, one week off for some reason. I like to always be connected, inspired and full of spirit. I often feel this way when I'm home in Mysore, but other places I'm not so good at maintaining that. Why is that? Is it because I start to let others opinions start to affect me? I'm a good for telling people that no one's opinion matters in your life, unless you deem that it does. Then it can have a big effect on everything.
I usually am great at not going there with my mind. Letting others hold real estate in it. But sometimes am I susceptible to it? Probably. Most likely. Yes.. hahahaha!
But really, I love you and so I'll listen to what you have to say, but in the end my connection is the only thing that matters and that I have control over, so I have to make decisions that keep me in it, or deepen it, or get me back to it if I get thrown off of it.
When I'm in a place of real and deep connection I can better serve you, as a friend, as a teacher, as a confidant. Just in general. So it may seem selfish, and in western terms it certainly is, but it's definitely a better place for all when I'm there, or you're there. If you can lead by inspiration, what more can you possibly want?!? That is the best.
Anyhow, that is all I wanted to say. Hope this next stage in life is one you'll take control of and keep your own best interest at the forefront of and think of it as a better version of yourself will be available anytime it's needed, or anytime you want to insert yourself into the conversation. It's all good, happy new year!
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