Instagram...

Well, maybe I should call this post social media, it's not only about Instagram. But Instagram seems to be the more widely used choice these days and I'd written an entry based on the fact that Sharath had blocked me on Instagram and I didn't know why, so maybe that is where my mind is when I think of social media. Who knows.

BTW, I wrote to Sharath and he unblocked me. He didn't write a response in words but that was enough of a response for me and I feel the matter is dealt with. But on to what I really sat down to write about.

I remember when Facebook came out my friend from Europe was staying with me and my roommates and had urged me to get it. I was like, no way, life is distracting enough, blah, blah, blah. But then during her visit I was more aware how nice it was to have daily access to her and converse, so I thought okay, I can do this and have a free way to communicate with her and other friends around the globe once I find them on there. At the time mind you I only had about 3-5 people I knew in other places besides the US.

So I got it and the rest is history. Now I find myself using it as a platform for speaking about topics I feel interesting or important, I post my blog entries there. I do use it to communicate with so many friends from all corners of the globe that I now do have a lot more of and most of whom I met in Mysore. But also, there is the addiction quality of it, which no one tells you about.

I'm good not looking at it for long periods of time, no problem, but then once I do pull out the phone, boom, there I am going through and through and through. I don't often scroll through my feed, but I see who commented on a post and I go and respond, or a see someone replied to a comment I made and I go see what they said, and oftentimes that leads you to another place, to another page, to another article, to another post and before you know it, three hours have gone by and you've done nothing but be looking at your phone or laptop. I don't find myself doing this too often these days because I'm trying to be fully aware of it when I get online.

Sharath spoke in conference this morning in Mysore about why do you care or follow people on social media who you don't even know. Now, there was a much greater thing he was speaking to but this line stuck in my head (no I'm not there but I do know about 60% of the people there right now, so I heard). Why do I? So when I read that I pulled out my phone, looked at my Instagram feed and then it was mostly all people I've met in person with a couple that are Ashtangis who also follow me and I checked their accounts, liked what I saw and so followed them as well. But for the most part I don't follow a lot of people I don't know. That reminds me of a little story of a friend who I had pulled up my Instagram account to show them a picture and when the feed opened it was muscly naked guy who happened to be a porn star. They saw it, assumed that me being a gay man found him hot and followed him just to see such things periodically. And that is just fine as well if I had done that because I am a human being who does enjoy seeing other human males naked from time to time, but not the point of this. She commented about how hot he was and some other such drivel, and I commented that yes, he's a really nice guy, and blah, blah, blah. She was surprised that I thought this and asked how I knew but I actually knew this person and told her so. So, I don't often follow too many people I don't know, or do I and just don't see it in my feed that often? Maybe, who knows. Does it matter? back to the conversation...

Instagram is a little bit easier to not scroll through so much because its mostly pictures, and sometimes I enjoy looking at them because I love the art of photography but often I'm more drawn in by words. The problem with that is that now many people are making beautiful long posts with their pics on Instagram, so then I look, like the pic, see what the words are saying and then if I'm moved I keep reading. BTW again, how on earth can you people stand to type so much on your phones like this?!? It drives me mad to one finger type on my phone and when it's a long post it seems to take forever, I just made one so was doing just that and it's not even that long, but I was thoroughly frustrated after. But then maybe you all are using more fingers? My fingers are fat and will hit tons of incorrect letters if I use more than one, so I'll assume that's what you're doing possibly.

I'm also not one of those people who like to post lots of pics of them doing asanas, or moving through vinyasa or anything, but because I see so much of that on there I'm drawn to video myself or take pics of myself in my practice to see how I look as I'm doing them. But often I forget because I get into my practice and am absorbed in the focus of it. Which leads me to my thoughts right this moment. Maybe I have to set it up later in the day when I've not eaten and then shoot them to see how they look or how my movement flows or my breath sounds, or whatever. Is that what you all do? I'm never as open during the day as I am during my practice so that takes me back to the first point, I should do it then I guess.

But also I practice naked, yes I do. Maybe you don't care about this but many when they find out are horrified, especially men who seem to think I'm likely to hurt my balls. I have practiced nude since I started, less laundry, the rug soaks up the sweat if there is any (here in Germany its cold and I'm barely sweating) and its much easier to wash the one rug weekly than a load of laundry that is just worn for asana practice each morning. But it also just feels much better to me. I'm able to feel me, from the inside out. My spirit, my body, my breath, my thoughts, my skin even. With shorts on I'm always feeling them and what they are squeezing, or where they're cutting into me, or what have you. I like my focus to be internal and for some reason practicing naked allows for this with me. But maybe its okay for me to be posting nude pics as well, another friend does so and writes about why he does beautifully and often has a very good point to be made. So maybe if I have a great feeling to get across and a pic of me practicing or in a posture, clothed or unclothed, happens to go along with that I'll start posting more of my practice. Hmmmm...

I am being drawn to do some more physically focused things these days. So I'm walking more, even out in the cold which I DO NOT love, but getting out and around has always been my way. Maybe some swimming would be great if I had access, some tree climbing, some random asana pics in a location that I find visually and energetically appealing and stimulating. Maybe more, but let's see. I return to India soon and it's warmer there, we'll see what I feel like doing once I'm back.

Again, I diverge. I'm not a great one for keeping a theme in a blog, I start out thinking about that thing but am very much a stream of conciseness writer and thinker. Hell, I'm live my life in the stream of consciousness, I go with the flow of whatever energy comes up and moves me to. So, I'll not worry about keeping to Instagram, or social media, or maybe I will. Now that I've thought of it again, I've thought of some last thoughts I may like to share.

Is it bad to be so into social media? Many of my friends, well, not many. But some of the ones who I consider most close to me, whose opinions I like to hear, have been giving me shit. One particularly for the amount of stuff I post, and the other for the dramatic content of what I post or comment on others posts. So is it bad? Maybe but I use everything in my life as a tool to move towards greater and greater realisation of self, self awareness, consciousness, clarity, truth, being... Whatever you'd like to label it. I use it as a catharsis also. When I write and I get responses back from people who've read it and it resonated, or even if they read it and didn't agree at all but it started a discussion between us or with some others, or even if they just liked it and sometimes shared it, then I feel this deep cathartic feeling. Oh, then I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone, and I always feel good as long as I tend to my connection with source, but it's still nice because I feel each of us is a mirror of what's going on within one another and that acknowledgment from them tells you that oh, there is another one I'm connected with, or we're connected in similar ways in our separate lives, or something like that.

As my last week here in Frankfurt is just beginning I've been getting feedback from many of the students, I've also been getting feedback from the students and other teachers in Köln where I spent five months teaching last year, and it's telling me I'm doing something right. So I'm not here judging myself too harshly for being addicted to social media in the small way that I am. I'm here to acknowledge that to me it's yet another way to facilitate connection, within myself and within the students I have the privilege of teaching right now and over the whole course of my time getting to share this practice and the other practices that I'd studied at one point and then turned around and taught.

I'm not patting myself on the back in saying that, but I am acknowledging that in saying the students have given me positive feedback has told me I've stuck to my major goal. To always dig in deep to my yoga, to my asana practice, but also to my internal awareness, to the studying of scriptures that I find fascinating, to the ideas or stories of different gods that I find interesting, to just about anything that takes my awareness back inside to my path. And through that cultivation within I'm able to express more without as I walk around the Mysore room, or lead the led class on Fridays, or just have a great conversation with a student after class, or after the couple conferences I've done here that have stirred up questions with the students. My approach seems different to many of them, I'm not sure why, but maybe I'll ask and see what they have to say.

But that's all I've got for now, thanks for reading and have a great Saturday!