How do you feel?

I myself have not been feeling so good lately. Not feeling badly either, just neutral. Neutral is like death, there is no energy pulling through you at all and in order to have that you must feel inspired, excited, drawn to do something.

But for months now, since I had to move shortly after arriving home from India probably, I've felt neutral. I love teaching Ashtanga and am doing it in the way that I love to teach it and there are many who are enjoying that along with me, even though it is much more intense than they knew it would be. So that part of my life is fulfilling, but for some time now I've felt there is more. More what I don't know. But I had a glimpse of it this past Saturday and a few other times but this time I recognized it for what it was.

I taught the park class in the morning and many loved it and it clicked with them, so I heard that a lot which is great. I spent time with some interesting and new people to me who were putting new thoughts in my head about life and how it's to be lived and the adventure that it can be. Then I taught a workshop that was well received and the students who took it seemed to get what I was teaching and are now able to apply these things to their practice. Then the next day I realized, after spending another day teaching Mysore and chanting, but also spending a lot of it with my students, that this type of connection was what I'm looking for on a bigger scale. Not saying I want hundreds of followers, but saying like minded individuals that can support and care for one another as we move through this practice and how it affects our lives, because no one else really gets it the way that we do, well because they aren't doing this practice.

That led me to think of the many people I've met in Mysore and how close I feel to them even though I don't see them daily or speak to them all that much, so I sent a few messages and chatted with a few people. Then today we found out that Sharath is going to open this season and the date, and when we'll need to apply to get in and so much excitement came over me that my morning practice almost cruised by and seemed simple and easy, then later in the day all the messages I received made me feel even more excited because this group is also excited and this means we will all get to be with one another again and in only 5 months, if we all get in.

So, I know Abraham says you should be able to maintain this kind of feeling all the time without external circumstances being the cause of it but that we've all been trained to look to the external to keep us feeling good, so it's a new training we have to do with ourselves to get to the place that it's possible. I say that it is possible because I've been there much of the time in my life recently. Ok because I chose to be, feeling good because I chose the thoughts that led me there and didn't allow the ones that typically drag me down to do so. But sometimes, just sometimes that community spirit is alright too I think. If you can't do it on your own utilizing those who are like you and know your inner strength to help lift your spirits is just okay too. Not that Abraham would disagree but they just encourage us to be self sufficient and strong. I'm happy I've found their teachings for sure, it's changed my life, but I'm also happy that I've found a great group of people in my life, both locally and worldwide that can inspire me and help me stay higher up in my vibration.

So, I'm feeling pretty good today. Teaching this morning a great group was inspiring and helped me stay there and I chatted with a few of those great friends during the day today and I just finished a really great show on Netflix, so moving from inside to out in the feeling good arena is a pretty great and I'm glad I'm able to access that, but also when your inner being isn't feeling so amazing, using the outside to stimulate better feeling thoughts that lead to better feeling emotions that lead you to generally feeling good is okay as well.

So, how are you feeling? Can you make a choice to feel better and follow through with it? No? Then wanna hang out? Maybe I can help...

Asana

There's a lot of debate in the "yoga" world lately about asana. Mostly around all the Instagram posts of everyone and their brother posting photos of themselves in asanas, hard ones, easier ones, many upon many handstands. All of which seems to many that it demeans the yoga practice down to a set of asanas, rather than the deeper teachings that are there and meant to be behind the practice of moving through postures and and breathing.

Personally I had heard of yoga in the 80's while watching That's Incredible. They would occasionally have a skinny, little Indian man curl himself up and get into a clear box so we could see him and be amazed that he stayed in there in an extremely awkward position for the entire show and so my interest had been peaked in my teens. But upon actually beginning to practice in late 1999 and early 2000 I quickly realized there was much more to it than just moving the body and trying to breathe while I did so, that in doing this there was energy awakened and awareness coming about every aspect of myself including my thought patterns and noticing which things were serving me still and which no longer were serving me. So to understand what was going on a bit more I bought some books and read the philosophy behind the yoga practices I was doing.

I still don't think I got it for many, many years. I was practicing they physical discipline of Ashtanga Yoga for 8 years before I decided to leave it for another physical discipline in the Hatha Yoga lineage, but also I took up Kundalini Yoga, which used physical means to achieve energetic goals, but this time I could feel the energy move and clear out areas of my body, physically and subtly. So when I came back to Ashtanga Yoga as a physical discipline almost 4 years later I was able to feel and get the same results but was also feeling my body come back into a better physical state as well.

Now I've traveled to Mysore, India to study with the current lineage holder of this practice and in doing so I encountered Indians in their own culture for the first time, and the one thing I can say about them that's affected me more than even the asana practice I experienced over there is the level of faith they have. They just surrender to the now all day, every day. Where we Westerners seem to always be struggling to find happiness or something more in life, they are content with the way things are and move through life with much less worry and anxiety. Life is accepted the way it is, they are happy no matter what's thrown at them it seems. So this affected me and made me take to the yoga differently than I would when I was at home, with much more surrender and contentment in where I was, not looking to where I was going all the time. Once you find peace where you are, you open up the door to where you're wanting to go anyway in my opinion.

The Ashtanga Yoga practice of asanas is very intense, there is a certain breath for each movement to be followed, there is a certain place to gaze with your eyes as you move through each posture, there is even a set sequence of postures to follow, one harder than the last, not to be changed. But the approach to these things can be different. I used to push and in the pushing would harm myself. Now I surrender and its still hard but in the surrender I'm finding peace and within that peace is the deepest connection I could ask for. So now after my asana practice, and sometimes during, I'm finding myself in a still place. I've seen it called the still point or zero point, in Sanskrit it's called Shuniya which is the experience of absolute stillness within and without. It is the oneness with all things, it is the zeroing out of anything that keeps you from experiencing your divinity. And lately after practice I've been able to reach this place, this deep inner space that I can observe everything going on and feel not of it, but still be in it and not apart from it.

It's a good place to be. You feel happier when you're there, less easily agitated over small things, more calm and decisions are easier to make and thinking becomes more clear and open, less judgmental. I can also more quickly notice when I'm not there and that is a good thing too.

So, asana to me is a part of my sadhana (daily practices that lead to connecting spiritually, to yourself and to others). I know there are many in the East who poopoo asana saying we don't need it, we should just be able to sit and achieve this state of being, and maybe as I get older and move through more and more asana practices I will need it less or eventually not at all, but practicing for me is healing my nervous system so less worry and anxiety is there throughout my day. It's a burning off of the rough edges that are still held over from my previous life of drinking too much and worrying about everything. I do think people can have fun with them and use them for things other than connection, that's not really why I use them but many do and post about it on Instagram lol, btw I'm not on Instragram so only see posts as they also post onto Facebook. I do have a few friends in the Ashtanga community who post on there incessantly bit many of them type very strong and encouraging words about an aspect of yoga that has been cultivated through their asana practice, so that I don't mind and the others I try not to mind as well. It's all yoga and it's all affecting people where they are and where they are is most likely not where I am and so it's good just as well.

Hope that wasn't too much rambling, have a great day, feeling love and sending it your way!

Random thoughts...

Now, I don't believe anything is random really so I guess I named this entry that because there are many things going through my head right now and I'm planning on touching on some of them randomly, depending on what comes up while I'm typing. I tend to write things stream of consciousness-wise anyway but it's been quite a while since I wrote and have been having trouble each time I sit down to type the past two weeks or so, so we'll see what comes out.

The other day I read an article about the "Three things that deepen your yoga practice" or some such a title, which got me excited because a friend of mine and I have been having many discussions, actually a couple friends and I (you both know who you are), about the silliness going around within yoga these days some of it involving Instagram, some not. And so this article seemed like something I would enjoy reading. I open it up and its talking about Tapas, Svadhyaya and Ishwarapranidana and if you read the sutras or as I'm doing almost daily (to keep up with my homework from Ranjini in Mysore I'm chanting the first two padas of the yoga sutras and a few other scriptures and mantras most days)chanting the sutras you know that the first sutra of the second pada is tapahsvadhyayaishwarapranidanani kriyayogah, which translates that tapas, svadhyaya and ishwarapranidana together form kriya yoga, or the yoga of action. But the article disappointed me in that it only took each of the qualities at their physical level and went no further. In its defense that is probably where most people are and so it touched on things most people could relate too and therefor probably received more shares on Facebook. But I think to its detriment it did this. Since most people may come to their asana practice as only a physical event maybe if it had went deeper it would have brought the idea to more people that the asana practice is so much more than just a physical thing happening, of course it is a physical thing but it can be so much more, if one has the awareness of that introduced to them.

Tapas can be only the physical workout that the asanas provide, but tapas, which roughly translates as "to burn" really means igniting the fire of transformation, or agni in Vedic Sanskrit, which is located around the navel center or solar plexus in the subtle body and can also apply to the digestive process in the physical body. So when you're doing the asana practice if you're thinking of it as detoxification of the physical being, that's taking it a step further, or as igniting that fire within that can burn away the layers of "you" that really aren't you and begin a transformation from the inside out. Now that is something I can and do put myself into daily, transformation, sure of body, but more so of mind and spirit using the body to facilitate aspects of that change.

Svadhyaya is self study, which this article touted as listening to yourself, or getting to know yourself on a physical level. Hearing when the body is at its edge and so forth, which is a really good thing so I'm not disputing that. But also there are deeper levels one can take this idea to. My teacher Sharath says one aspect of svadhyaya is when your teacher mentions something but doesn't really expound upon it, it's your job as a good shishya or student/disciple to go and research that thing so you know what he's talking about for future reference, so literally studying things yourself. But I like the thought of it best as being that deeper level of awareness one can achieve through the asana practice, through pranayama and meditation too, also through observation of the emotions as they arise, paying attention to sensations in the body as it comes up, but most of all noticing how you feel while you're thinking of different things. If you can tell how a thought makes you feel then you'll know when to start to change your thoughts processes to move in a different direction when you're heading down a negative path in your mind.

Ishwarapranidana is surrender to god, or if you're like me and believe that god or the energy of the divine is all that there is in this realm then just surrender, because anytime you do you are surrendering to god, or allowing the universe, or source, or the bigger picture, to take the reigns and when you do that you're allowing things to move in their natural flow and slowly teaching yourself how to let go and go with that. I've written a lot about surrender on this blog, especially in my time in Mysore this past trip so I'm not going to type too much more here on that. But suffice it to say, this one could be considered the most important, for when we're allowing or surrendering we are not identifying with our resistance within and therefor are letting the natural flow of life happen as it should and would work if we weren't always interjecting blocks in its way with the stories in our mind.

So, all that being said, today I didn't do to much in the way of these three lol, I actually slept in later than normal with the intention of practicing after I got up and before I headed out. But last weekend I had practiced on Saturday and so yesterday, Thursday, was my sixth day of practice in a row already and i just couldn't do it, so I just did pranayama and chanted and sat for a bit. Which all felt nice, it's also my one day off of the week so I had plans to see the new Mad Max film and had tickets already to boot, so taking the morning of the asana part of my practice was nice. Tomorrow is the typical day off and Sunday is a new moon, so another day off and yes that means I would've have two days off in a row but I'm okay getting up an practicing tomorrow and then taking Sunday off as well, that will feel good.

I did see the new Mad Max and it was phenomenal, lots of action but with so much heart, I loved it. Then I got out, went and got a smoothie, looked at times and went and saw the new Pitch Perfect film, which didn't hold a candle the the first installment. The singing sequences were great but otherwise it was jumbled and didn't flow well, so you could like it or not depending on what you're looking for.

Also this week I've been thinking of Mysore sooooo much and it seems from the posts I'm seeing on Facebook that many who also go over there yearly are as well, so I'm not alone. I've been dreaming of it and thinking of periodically throughout the day each day and that's making being here hard but oh well, I'm here and need to surrender to that (see above).

Maybe these thoughts weren't so random after all, they actually seem coherent when I scroll back up and look around too. That's great! lol

I hope they've made you think a little bit and if they didn't, that's okay too. I can't affect everyone and the writing is really cathartic for me so I'll be doing it whether it clicks with you or not!

Enjoy your weekend, see you soon, maybe if the rain holds off I'll even see you in the morning at the Tower Grove Farmers Market class I'll be teaching!

Namaste

Pissing people off

So, I've recently had interactions with someone who mostly communicated with me via text, unless we ran into each other somewhere (which only happened twice). Those were the only two times we've been in each others company in fact. But I've in the past had troubles with communicating via text. It doesn't denote humour and is impossible to read where the person is coming from but I guess that's only possible when you're in person with one another.

Anyhow, some comments I make in my typical irreverent slant were not taken so well and that person said I obviously have no respect for the path I've taken if I can say the things I said about it, but I disagree, yes I can. So I've been written off pretty much, which is fine (not fine, it makes me sad but it is how it is so I have to make peace with that) because I know where I stand with my source and don't need interactions with other humans to prove to myself where I stand.

I think that if you're intimate with a subject is really the only time making fun of it is valid, you know it so well and may have a lot of issues coming out that sometimes just letting go and saying something flippant can be a release. Sometimes it can also be a holding on if you cling to that description, but if you're honestly letting it go then it can feel like a release. Also, sometimes I do not like yoga, sometimes I do not like having all this spirituality around me all the time. Sometimes I absolutely wish I was just that ignorant guy getting drunk in the mid 90's because it's just so much easier to be ignorant than it is to know. But there is also the stand that sarcasm and irreverence have a bit of truth in them, which I agree with as well, but I don't anything wrong with feeling negatively about something sometimes. It doesn't mean you hate it or don't have respect for it, it just means that you're human and sometimes things that are good are also not so good feeling. Good and bad are both just opinions anyway. One persons trash is another persons treasure type of thing.

To know what? To know the truth. Not saying that I know the one and only truth out there, but to say that I am beginning to figure out my truth and as Adyashanti says enlightenment is a crumbling away of the illusion of what you think life is, the complete eradication of everything that is untruth. It's not at all what we think it is. So it's often a very uncomfortable place to be, it's often like being an open wound, so sensitive that you think you'll burst if any more emotion or feeling comes your way, it's often being in the one place you absolutely do not want to be and being aware in that place and still able to function without allowing the situation to paralyze you. It's much more than this but I could go on all night.

It's most like being in a closet with the door shut. You have no idea there is anything but darkness, so never strive for anything more. Then one day someone opens the door, just a crack, and light starts streaming in and then you can see around the closet a little bit and know there are things in there, you can also see out the crack and realize there is a whole other big world out beyond the confines of the closet you've so comfortably made as your home. So the fear sets in as you wonder what is out there, but whether you open the door further and go out or not, you always now know that there is more and you can never not know that. So you're doomed, you can't go back. Another equation would be to tell the jury to dismiss evidence that they've just heard. Again, you've already heard it, processed it a bit and so how can you unhear it? You can't! So being ignorant may have been nice at one point but now it's tainted, you know there is more and cannot unknow that.

I use humour a lot and it doesn't always sit well with people but I'm okay with that, those in the know know that it's better to be loose and relaxed about things and let them flow then to hold to tightly on to your idea of things that you cannot hear even the remotest bit of discourse against them without getting offended. I gave up on being offended a long time ago, even so it still creeps in a bit every so often, then I catch it and let go of it.

As RuPaul says "what anyone else thinks of me is none of my goddamn business!" And so it is, you may not like me, you may like me. I may not like you or I may like you. Either way you have the right to think whatever the hell you want about anything and if I like you I'm not going to write you off and will even defend your right to feel the way you do, even if it goes against everything I believe in. And those kind of people are who I want in my life as well. We all judge and let's not act like we don't, I'm terrible but I'll catch it and think ok, they don't have to agree with me and I hope you will also feel the same towards me. I can think what I want, it doesn't have to match what you think to be valid or accepted by you, and you can think what you want and we can still be friends...

Back to my roots...

So last week was my first week of teaching Mysore style Ashtanga in the early morning and getting up very, very early to practice before teaching. It went pretty well. I love my core group of students and most of them came daily, some it was there first time working with a teacher daily (most of them have strong home practices) and it's proving to be transformational for all of us. Myself included, as I figured getting up so very early would.

There have also been two days this week and it's still going strong, but not only that, I started a 5 week Intro to Ashanga series on Wednesday evenings that has 13 folks in it, which is also pretty good. They are strong and seem to be into it to, which is all I can hope for. So great teaching people who are interested in what you're sharing. Then I also began a chanting class on Sunday afternoons, which I love. There were only a couple attendees but we went or it and it was great.

I finally feel like I did back when I was just in the first few years of my practice and had started teaching a couple people in Collinsville at my friends dance supply store, and then that grew, and we were inadvertently practicing Mysore style because as a new person would come in I would work with them and let the others practice what I'd already taught them and then help them when they needed it. Then I go to Maui to study with Guruji and Nancy Gilgoff and discover that this is the way this system is actually taught traditionally, hilarious to me to know I was so in tune with this stuff without even knowing it!

On a slightly sad note, but all things move and shift, my friend just closed that store this weekend. I went and had lunch with her one more time over there. She's 69 and is still practicing daily and is ready to retire finally, so an end of an era. I taught there from 2001 through early 2008.

Back then everything felt fresh and new, Guruji had told me to practice in the early morning and everything would change in my life and it had, I was teaching 3-4 nights a week to a good group who were hungry for what I had to share and I was getting other teaching gigs in St. Louis. Everything felt possible and like I was on the right path, well, I'm there again. I was so hugnry for everything that I would get online and look up Ashtanga stuff all day and order books about it by diferent people and just look at peoples websites all the time. Well, I'm studying and digging in deep again, this time a little differently, reading, studying some aspects of Hinduism, rekindling my knowledge of Sanskrit and stuff like that.

So to come back around to a place I've already been is interesting, but this time it feels so different, even though it's kind of the same. It feels good to feel good and to feel like you're doing what you are lined up to do. Is that what they call dharma? Maybe so, maybe I knew what my dharma was all along and just didn't know it. I knew it was to teach and as I teach I've always felt good, but teaching this system back in the early 2000's through 2007 was my happiest time and now that I'm back to it, it feels like it's leading into another happy time, which is just fine with me. Sometimes we need to take a detour away from that to figure out what we already knew and with fresh eyes see that we knew all along where we belonged.

It feels good to be back and the Tower Grove Park class also is starting on April 11th this year so that will be back too, all good things are coming my way. Wait a minute, they are here!

The winds of change are blowing...

In 2000 after just having started practicing Ashtanga Yoga on March 1, I drove to Boulder, Colorado in August to study for 2 weeks with K. Pattabhi Jois, who I would soon call Guruji. On this trip he held about 4 conferences, 2 of which I attended (you had to sign up for them since there were so many in attendance). One of them has been held in my memory since then, when Guruji looked directly at me (and I'm sure many in the room thought he was looking directly at them) in answer to someones question about practicing in the evenings and he said "You, (pointing at me, looking me in the eye) getting up, 4am, practicing, before working. Whole life changing, whole life(doing a sweeping motion with both hands)!

So, I went home and debated within myself about getting up so early to do it. I loved the idea of it because I knew no one else I knew would ever be doing it and in many ways I love being the odd man out, in many ways I don't love it as well, but that's another tale. So it was finally my partner at the time who convinced me to give it a try, and so I did.

Boy, did my whole life change. We broke up, I moved back across the river to Illinois, I ended up leaving my full time job at a brokerage firm of 14 years and many other things. But those are not the point of this entry today.

The point is that since then I haven't had to get up that early, other than when I'm in Mysore studying with Sharath, Guruji's grandson and the heir to the head of the lineage of Ashtanga Yoga. And to say that on my trips over there my life didn't change would be an understatement. But starting Monday with a new commitment to teach a morning Mysore program at a new studio that my friend is opening, I'm also committing to getting up at like 3am to practice before the program begins at 6am and so I fully expect the changes and transformations to begin yet again.

I just got home from Mysore on February 3rd, and many, many changes have already taken place both within and without but this could very likely be a new level of this happening again. I'm not saying this with a foreboding voice by any means, but with one of interest and introspection. I'm curious what further could come about.

I've been very slowly since getting home letting go of things more and more, but also letting go of holding on to the past and by the past I also mean this morning. Not that I'm not remembering the things that happened throughout my day but that I'm not clinging to the emotions that have arisen throughout my day.

I'm moving into each situation with a fresh outlook, no judgment from a predisposed notion that may have been caused by previous experience with a person, place or thing. Not that I'm doing that perfectly, but definitely since this last trip I'm doing it much more easily and frequently. It's an interesting place to be in, one of not clinging. I know that I feel much more at ease and happy almost all the time and with that I've also been more interested in staying in touch with my family more as well as cultivating a deeper connection with just about anyone I come in contact with, making each conversation or interaction have a deeper meaning.

So, I'm interested to see what life has to bring with this new commitment to getting up super early again. In India they call this time a few hours before dawn Brahma Muhurta, the time of God. Meaning that this time there are less people, animals, well, just about everything up and about to cause vibrations or stimulation so it's easier to connect to the energy of God or what I often call source. So to practice your asanas, meditation, chanting, anything that we do to connect at this time of the morning, is much more beneficial to spiritual growth, to expansion of consicousness and just a deeper awareness of ones self.

We'll see how it goes. I'm not going to sit and watch everything strongly, that would be the watched pot doesn't boil thing in action. But I am going to be aware and notice things, hoping to make the best choices that I can to lead me in an amazing direction and to keep those around me inspired to do that same (not get up so early but to seek connection when possible).

What do you do to connect? Is there a time you find it better than others to do your practices? Do you even have practices that you do to try to connect? If so, I hope you can find new levels of connection within them as well. It's a great time of change and strong flow of energy on our planet and I believe we are all being called to empower ourselves and others. What's your belief?

Mysore magic...

A friend of mine recently wrote an article with the above title, so I thought I'd steal that idea from her, I'm sure she won't mind and if she does she can send me a personal Facebook message about it lol.

So, in Mysore many talk about the magic there and many mean it within the shala, in their asana practice, but many mean other things as well. To me it mostly has to do with the place itself, India itself. In the shala my practice is no more easy than at home even though this time I got further but I think that had to do more with the daily schedule being kept and the heat in the room from so many being in there expending their energy. But in Gokulam I found a level of peace that I'm never able to find, a level of dedication to my practice, not just my asana practice, but to my yoga practice (living and breathing it all day long) that is not easy to find and a new level of awareness just in general, about myself and everything around me. Now part of this is because there I'm not working so my work is to practice, be aware while I practice, and take that consciousness out into my day and follow how it shifts and changes throughout my day, within and without. Also using that to tell how others are feeling and be sensitive to that as well. I also because of this depth of practice during the day built a great fire inside, called agni in Sanskrit, that fire of transformation. Inner transformation but also outer because as a result of my new level of cosciousness I lost 22 pounds in India and have since lost 5 more.

Is this maintainable? Yes, I think it is. When I got home I was maintaining my chanting that I'd learned with Ranjini, I was maintaining the same level of asana practice, maybe as time moved on it got to be a little bit more work, but not too bad. I was still able to wake up super early to practice and was doing so naturally without my alarm, which here to for had been unheard of and I'm still waking up before my alarm goes off most days, even though I am setting it now. I also have been keeping my studies of the texts and culture up which I believe is adding to that fire. So on a certain level, yes it is maintainable.

But in her article she wrote about the bubble bursting at a certain point, and I will say that yes, after my last trip I had that happen but his time it was completely different. Last time I did notice a lull in my eagerness to wake up early and practice hard at my asanas, but also lost the ability to control my diet as I had when I was in India and had lost about 17 pounds and gained most of it back because I was tending to eat a lot heavier at night. This trip coming home I had the bubble burst in a whole different way.

I had moved in with someone that I thought was a friend and who had helped me out a lot by allowing me to move my stuff into a finished room in his basement and leave it there while I was gone, having that bedroom set up and ready upon my return. Which I have to say is a lovely thing because you feel so out of sorts coming home after being over there and living there for a full three months that coming home and having to move or staying on someones couch or something like that would have to be awful. It's nice to feel at home. That feeling was there but after about two weeks started to go south, although I was not quite aware of it at the level I maybe should have been. At first the person I was staying with was practicing with me in the morning, at his behest and then that quickly stopped, when then made my schedule of getting up early annoying to him and I would frequently get texts about the things that bothered him about what I was doing that morning, or walking across his lawn or other things. But I also assume he had other personal things going on that he wasn't telling me about that were getting him agitated as well because he would frequently drop out of yoga at times when things were happening, but this time when he was dropping out I was living with him so it wasn't so easy to get away from it and I believe that also was a factor in why I kept annoying him. During this time our friendship had completely melted away and we'd quit speaking unless it was absolutely necessary. So when he asked me to move out to allow his son to move in it was via email, not even in person, which was odd to me. Remember, I'd just been back from a whole different culture on the opposite side of the planet and trying to reassimilate back into a society that I wasn't even sure I belonged in anymore, so wasn't completely able to be present with all that was going on, which is how I let it get so far out of hand without talking to him about it. We had been friends so his distress was upsetting to me but I wasn't able to handle it as I had in the past because of my displacement, not that that's a good excuse, but it's the only one I've got.

But this was supposed to be about my bubble bursting, not getting into personal relations with former friends. So this was a big burst in my bubble, having to move all of a sudden. But along with this I'd let go of my classes at all the studios I was teaching at before I left and wasn't teaching anything other than private lessons and my Mysore club that meets once or twice a week (a private group I facilitate that practices Mysore style) so was having much the same kind of time as in India to just do my practice and chanting and pranayama and allow all the things to come up to come up and was able to deal with it, so was much living the same life as I had been in India. Also I was feeling so quiet and peaceful that any upheaval from that quiet inner space really threw me for a loop. And this was one of those times.

A good friend has put me up for now and I'm feeling back to my old self and keeping up my asana practice, my chanting and pranayama (even though that week I decided I had to get out more quickly that I originally thought, my practices suffered a lot, they are back on track) and able to do the inner work again at the same level I was in India.

But also I've got a new Mysore program starting up on March 23rd and I'm quite excited about that and a lot of my students are as well, so that is really feeding into that inner fire. Hosting a full program on my own is making me step up to the plate in a new way that is forcing me to be on top of my game and calling forth all this energy that I'd not known I was able to produce before. It's at a new studio owned by a friend who I'm excited to work with again, but this time in a whole new way, and will include morning Mysore sessions, a chanting class on Sunday afternoons and an Intro series one evening in the week to feed into the Mysore program. I'll also still do Intro series at Puravegan as well throughout the year to feed into the program. I've also heard from many who are as excited to give this new way of learning a try, so that feeds into it even more.

In short, or maybe not so short by now, I think it is possible to keep the magic going. Although it will for sure feel differently than it does in Mysore. How could it not? It can still feel fulfilling and exciting and keep that inner fire going. For me manifesting it through many changes in all areas of my life seem to be how it is able to be maintained this time around, but that's okay. Change is the only constant, right?

So, how long has it been since you've incited change in your life? Maybe this sort of shake up is just what you need as well, maybe not, but look at things and see how they feel. Maybe its needed. I didn't think I was bringing this about of my own will, but hen isn't everything in your life a reflection of what's going on inside, making our life our creation? Everything that shows up is upon an invitation from you, so embrace that, but also pay attention so you're not knocked off your feet when it shows up. But even if you are knocked over get back up and bull up your bootstraps and keeping leaning into it, growing, expanding, moving forward and even try to enjoy the process for on the other side of it will be some amazing stuff and even an amazing new life!