Pissing people off

So, I've recently had interactions with someone who mostly communicated with me via text, unless we ran into each other somewhere (which only happened twice). Those were the only two times we've been in each others company in fact. But I've in the past had troubles with communicating via text. It doesn't denote humour and is impossible to read where the person is coming from but I guess that's only possible when you're in person with one another.

Anyhow, some comments I make in my typical irreverent slant were not taken so well and that person said I obviously have no respect for the path I've taken if I can say the things I said about it, but I disagree, yes I can. So I've been written off pretty much, which is fine (not fine, it makes me sad but it is how it is so I have to make peace with that) because I know where I stand with my source and don't need interactions with other humans to prove to myself where I stand.

I think that if you're intimate with a subject is really the only time making fun of it is valid, you know it so well and may have a lot of issues coming out that sometimes just letting go and saying something flippant can be a release. Sometimes it can also be a holding on if you cling to that description, but if you're honestly letting it go then it can feel like a release. Also, sometimes I do not like yoga, sometimes I do not like having all this spirituality around me all the time. Sometimes I absolutely wish I was just that ignorant guy getting drunk in the mid 90's because it's just so much easier to be ignorant than it is to know. But there is also the stand that sarcasm and irreverence have a bit of truth in them, which I agree with as well, but I don't anything wrong with feeling negatively about something sometimes. It doesn't mean you hate it or don't have respect for it, it just means that you're human and sometimes things that are good are also not so good feeling. Good and bad are both just opinions anyway. One persons trash is another persons treasure type of thing.

To know what? To know the truth. Not saying that I know the one and only truth out there, but to say that I am beginning to figure out my truth and as Adyashanti says enlightenment is a crumbling away of the illusion of what you think life is, the complete eradication of everything that is untruth. It's not at all what we think it is. So it's often a very uncomfortable place to be, it's often like being an open wound, so sensitive that you think you'll burst if any more emotion or feeling comes your way, it's often being in the one place you absolutely do not want to be and being aware in that place and still able to function without allowing the situation to paralyze you. It's much more than this but I could go on all night.

It's most like being in a closet with the door shut. You have no idea there is anything but darkness, so never strive for anything more. Then one day someone opens the door, just a crack, and light starts streaming in and then you can see around the closet a little bit and know there are things in there, you can also see out the crack and realize there is a whole other big world out beyond the confines of the closet you've so comfortably made as your home. So the fear sets in as you wonder what is out there, but whether you open the door further and go out or not, you always now know that there is more and you can never not know that. So you're doomed, you can't go back. Another equation would be to tell the jury to dismiss evidence that they've just heard. Again, you've already heard it, processed it a bit and so how can you unhear it? You can't! So being ignorant may have been nice at one point but now it's tainted, you know there is more and cannot unknow that.

I use humour a lot and it doesn't always sit well with people but I'm okay with that, those in the know know that it's better to be loose and relaxed about things and let them flow then to hold to tightly on to your idea of things that you cannot hear even the remotest bit of discourse against them without getting offended. I gave up on being offended a long time ago, even so it still creeps in a bit every so often, then I catch it and let go of it.

As RuPaul says "what anyone else thinks of me is none of my goddamn business!" And so it is, you may not like me, you may like me. I may not like you or I may like you. Either way you have the right to think whatever the hell you want about anything and if I like you I'm not going to write you off and will even defend your right to feel the way you do, even if it goes against everything I believe in. And those kind of people are who I want in my life as well. We all judge and let's not act like we don't, I'm terrible but I'll catch it and think ok, they don't have to agree with me and I hope you will also feel the same towards me. I can think what I want, it doesn't have to match what you think to be valid or accepted by you, and you can think what you want and we can still be friends...