Transmutation...

Oddly enough I just looked and my last post was written right in the exact spot I'm sitting right now, in my apartment at Santosha Yoga here in Germany. I had so much I wanted to write in Mysore but my laptop would not connect to the wifi for some reason for almost the whole time there, which also means I didn't get to watch any Netflix or anything else either, except on my phone and watching that small screen makes my eyes hurt.

So I had a great time there during my month practicing at the shala, not my practice mind you, it wasn't so great and there were no physical breakthroughs but assisting Sharath was great and I hope to do it again.

Not only that but not having access to write everything down and get it out kind of forced me to process stuff and I feel I had a radical shift while I was there, within. So I may not write so much down anymore, as far as processing. Probably ideas and such I still will, but most of what needs to be transmuted I'll keep within, that's where the real growth happens anyway...

And there is that word, transmute. Or as I labeled this entry, transmutation. What does that mean?

To me it makes me think of the alchemists, who would change lead into gold, or coal into a diamond, stuff like that. But really it's not about the physical transmutation of any substance into another. It's more about the inner transmutation of feelings or memories or emotions into something else, something that serves you much more than whatever it was is.

So as I feel something one might label negative, then I'll embrace it, feel it, wonder where it came from. Figure it out, and then slowly make it into something beneficial, a feeling that inspires me or a movement in my consciousness that helps me move forward into the future and grow and expand. Change my ideas of things, or embrace that my ideas are just that, ideas, so to also embrace that everyone has these and they are all valid for each of us. Embracing the dark, the light, all of it and making peace with it, even becoming happy with it.

These transformations also affect our chemical balance and can shift it for the better or for the worse. Not only that they can shift our neural network into something better, or worse. We are the ones who have to decide, no one else can do that for us.

How we feel about things is our choice. Lately I've become very neutral as the sutras say to cultivate. But it's nice because then external factors do not bother me so much and immediately affect my mood like they once used to. I can just sit with something, observe it and then become okay with it that way and not react or act on it unless it's needed.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect at this and I still am human and have my moments, just ask any of my friends, but it's nice that I'm finally affected less than I once was. This has helped my physical practice, my teaching, my interactions with friends, and my interactions with those who I don't know. Just in general it's a better place to be in.

When you have something bothering you, do you just leave it there and let it affect your whole day, or are you able to transform it into something more? Give it a try next time, don't act immediately on a feeling, just sit back and watch it a bit first and see where it goes, then try to make it beneficial for you and others. Not easy, but well worth the time it takes to train yourself to do this...