There's lots going on on the planet, do you feel it? I do, and I think it's taking it's toll on me. I wish I was less sensitive sometimes, but then when I think of the loss of all the things I would be aware of I decide, no, I'm fine where I am.
It's just hard. And no, I'm not whining, just stating that I'm in a state of overwhelment much of the time these past few weeks. Today being my day off asana practice makes it especially hard, and this whole week having a new moon and screwing up some other practice days didn't help either.
I'm finding more and more of what I want and what I do not want in my life and it's interesting to see. As I grow to know more about myself and how what I know about myself can translate into how I teach, or even what I have to offer others and how they respond to it, use it, integrate it into their lives, is all for sure interesting to note.
I feel less and less like I know anything, or have anything to share and just when I'm feeling this is when people resonate more. I felt all head strong and ready when I got here and very few students were coming. Now I'm feeling like nothing, like I know nothing and like I am not sure what I have to offer and all of a sudden three weeks into my teaching here and now people are coming.
Just goes to show you, you never know. People sometimes resonate more with the not knowing than with the thinking you know it all. What a crazy time this is in, in the world as much as in each individual life.
Talk to anyone and we're all going through some dramatic times and some strong emotional times of learning and integration. How will we use these things in our own personal lives as we move forward is the key thing. Most hear and hear but do not listen and begin to use the tools people give them. Myself included.
Now is the time to listen, not just outwardly but to use the outward listening to learn how to listen inwardly. What does the deepest part of our being feel, want and need in order to keep feeling connected? It can tell us if we are open to receiving the information, allowing it to permeate our being and move forward from there...
Are you doing this? Am I doing this? Not always, but as often as I can I am. But you have to answer for yourself. Are you going through it blindly, and winging it? If so that's fine, but you can choose to start listening to your feelings and let them guide you, using your intellect to help you discern.
It's good, it's all good. Don't be hard on yourself, and I'll do my best not to be hard on myself too and just lean into life more. Lean into the dark, to the light, to the happy, to the sad, to whatever comes up and let it tell me what it tells me. Will you join me?
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