Hungry...

Do you ever go through phases where you're just hungry for more?

For me right now that means more reading scriptures, more reading about Kali, then putting that into play in pooja, more pooja, more chanting, can't wait to practice my asanas each morning, more intensity, more heat, more.. just more everything!

Right now I'm sweating a lot, I'm reading a lot, I am chanting louder, I am using fire and water more than ever in my rituals, I am studying more, reading sutras from many different scriptures, seeing how they feel to me, putting them into play in my life, teaching and the teaching is more intense right now, enjoying that intensity more than ever. I just want all of it and to push it into me somehow.

I know this may sound ridiculous to some of you but this is the phase I'm in right now. I often go through this phase when I'm not in India because when I'm there things are automatically more intense so I don't have to work at it so much. I suppose I don't have to work at it so much now either, I'm just an intense person so it will likely always be this way with me.

I just read an article by someone I know from Mysore and her love of the intensity of practicing there and assisting there and all of it. I have applied to assist Sharath when I'm practicing with him in August and thought I'd have heard by now if I can or not, but if I don't before I register I will ask him then and hopefully be able to. I to love the idea of this type of intensity, learning and teaching and the circle of all of that.

I teach for a living, but I also learn from each student and from each situation. I think if I was not also open to learning, that I thought I knew it all already, then I would be a shitty teacher. And I don't think I'm a shitty teacher, but maybe I'll ask some of them, maybe I am a shitty teacher hahahaha!

As I go back to India very soon, I'll be there about 2 weeks early before I get to start practicing, and will be there again for the Guru Purnima celebration at the shala. I attended last year even though I was not practicing there and so hope I am able to again this year, and this year I have a kurta to wear to it. I imagine that those same days will be registration for classes since it's near to the end of the month this year. So that will begin the process for me.

But maybe since I"m already missing India so much again that I'm bringing the intensity now? I hope so and that I can maintain it without bursting into flames, or that it calms down before I go so I can get a bit of respite before it starts again!

This next few months looks to be intense already from a glance anyway, India now, practicing and hopefully assisting Sharath for a month, then traveling around to Kolkata, Assam, Varanasi, Uttarkashi, then back to Germany for another month intensive of teaching, then back to Goa for a month or so of practicing with Sharmila Desai again, then to assist Harmony at Purple Valley Yoga in Goa. And to top it off I'm working on booking things for next year already, which is new for me, and I've already got temple tours and things booked for when I arrive in Mysore in 2 weeks, and a couple people to do private lessons with and possible taking German lessons while there. Whoo......!

I think I'll survive though, when I'm in the intensity I grow and expand and become so much more than I ever thought I could be and I glow. I thrive in this state, so I'm glad to be here.

Life is an adventure and I'm very happy to be actively moving forward in it, rather than passively allowing it to whip me around as I was when I was younger.

Thank you!