Native place...

So when an Indian friend of mine goes home to visit family or for a wedding or just about any reason they always tell you they're going to their native place.

Well, now I've up and gone to my native place. I've been here three weeks now and realised I haven't written nor necessarily felt as if I even wanted to, or had anything to write about.

I got here and went straight to my moms for a week then came to St. Louis to stay with my friend and started teaching daily Mysore practice with a 3 hour workshop. That end of it has been going very well and it's really clearing me out so I don't have a lot of junk coming up to share with you all.

In fact after the shift I had in Goa I surprisingly was not unhappy to be here and have been enjoying myself, both with family and with old friends.

Then today after I had driven to Illinois to see a movie and have lunch with my mom I decided I should drive back through Collinsville and Fairview Heights, My stomping ground from about 2002 to 2008. I lived in Collinsville with Steve Conner, one of my best friends, in his big house that also housed a business that I'd delivered flowers for for almost a decade before I moved in there. I was surprised to find that I teared up and was feeling a bit verklempt.

See, in December when I was in Frankfurt, Germany teaching I found out Steve had passed away. How and why are not for this blog, but at the time I thought about it a lot and felt very heavy with the news. But soon as I always do around death I made my peace with it and knew he was less encumbered in the form he was in now and so felt lighter about it. So being there where we had so much history just choked me up a bit. And I realised that it was the first time I've thought of the past very much since I've been here, which is great.

In fact in general, and today in particular, I have felt just great. Almost amazing all the time. My body is feeling good since its fairly warm here, my mind has been clear, my practice has mostly been going strong and I've been able to feel the Goddess and connect here in ways I had not previously been able to.

All the work I've done over the years is finally paying off. My favourite verse of the Yoga Sutras to chant in fact (1.14) states that perfection in practice comes when one continues with sincerity and respect for a long period of time without any interruption. Not saying I've perfected anything, but I feel some fruits coming available finally, not always, but more often and with more ease than before.

Death came up again earlier this week when my friend that I'm living with for my time here had to put her long time pet to sleep and I was present as she left her body, could actually feel her energy shift and move into a happier state of being.

Death I don't see as anything more than a transformation of energy, and with this current obsession I have with the version of Kali that lives in the cremation grounds and the impermanence that death stands for, and the transformation it actually is. So to experience a spirit leaving its body at this time is very pertinent, and to have felt the things I felt this afternoon when seeing my old house were pertinent too. I feel this is symbolic of me realising that now I'm really not attached to this place anymore, and I'm leaving it for good. I'll come visit I'm sure but that's it.

So, that's it. See you soon, hopefully I'll write some more while I"m here but if not I'm going to be in Germany soon and see some of you there, or in Mysore after that and see more of you there. Namaste!