My life...

My life is a strange one, at least that's the impression I'm getting lately. Not that I mind being strange at all, or even that others think I'm strange. I just never think of what I'm doing with my life as odd, until I hear anothers opinion of it, which I have a lot lately.

I was chatting with someone on a dating app, in person after we'd already chatted for a bit, and it was a very surprising thing that I travel to teach yoga for a living. I guess I've been part of the Ashtanga world for so long that I don't think anything of it, there even used to be a list on the old site for the official teachers authorized by KPJAYI that was called Traveling Teachers, all of which were certified at the time.

I get asked to come, and so I do, I offer sometimes when I see a good opportunity and if they agree then I get flown in. It's very simple. But maybe to many that don't realise how important yoga is in the lives of those who practice it it's a surprising thing, and most of them only think of it as an exercise program too from what I've discovered. To me it's the norm, and what a cool norm to have I believe.I'm constantly surrounded by a language that I don't know these days. For the last two years I've been between South India, North India, Germany and the U.S. I'm now on my third time in Germany and while I still can't formulate a whole sentence I can get by with the few words I know and can figure out often what people are talking about. I am told that ability comes form having an open heart, because when you're open you can feel the intention of the person speaking, that coupled with the amount of words I do know makes it easier to get by.

In fact when I was just in the U.S. for almost 8 weeks I told a friend I was walking with how odd it felt to be surrounded by English. I was understanding every conversation and my brain relaxed because it wasn't always trying to translate what I was hearing. But at the same time I realised how loud Americans are, yes Colleen if you're reading this you've been telling me this for years! But what an odd feeling to feel out of place in your country of origin. I guess I really have grown comfortable in my uncomfortable zones.

In fact another factor I realised was that I never speak full English anymore. I'm always having to pigeon English it for people so that they understand me. And when I arrived here I was speaking as if I was still speaking to other native English speakers and they could not understand me, I'm still doing it a bit, but not as bad as this past 5 days. I had to relearn how to use big words and put them in their proper places. Many friends can attest to me asking them, "what's the word for this?!?"

In India I'm learning more and more of the local language, well in Mysore, and I'm studying Hindi very loosely, so it's getting easier. But there it's always about the hand signals, head wobbles and the intention behind it all. Then communication is very easy. In Germany it can be much the same if you're open to it, but also many people speak very good English even though they will tell you they know "just a little bit..."

There is much much more that I thought about as the idea for this entry was formulating but it's all seeming less than important to talk about now. I've been working on talking less, and when I do talk to make it more meaningful. And requiring less to be going on at all times.

I was just walking through Köln after just getting out of a movie, through an area that is having what we would call a side walk sale. Although this one is a whole area of the city, not just a block or two. And thinking how absolutely no one in the crowd was alone. Everyone was holding hands, touching shoulders and leaning in to whisper in an ear, or yelling over the music to their group of friends, or with their dog and many other scenarios. Everyone. I was literally the only one walking alone. I had spent the greater part of the day with people and took a long walk with a friend and talked, so being alone was the balance for me.

I could have felt lonely, and maybe I should have, but I did not. I just noticed it, and thought how nice it would be to be walking through this crowd with someone I cared about, in whatever capacity, and chatting randomly while doing it. But then I also realised how nice it was to be able to walk alone and enjoy myself, noticing all the little idiosyncracies in folks as I was moving my way towards the space I'm calling home for the time being. Being in India for many months at a time helped mw with this and maybe even made it seem normal. Bieng in Germany also helped me with this.

But both helped me be more tolerant, loving and understanding of what it's like to be in a place and it not be somewhere I can just take to anyone at any time. It's all good, and I'm not complaining, I have a charmed life and appreciate it. I'm just stating what's been floating around in my mind the past few hours.

Namaste...