Mysore...

Feelings this morning while I was doing my practice that I was in the shala in Gokulam practicing with Sharath watching over me during led class. I kept my pace and didn't lose any time fidgeting and was finished in 1 hour and 10 minutes.

Then later I open Facebook to see my friends little video she made about what's really going on in Mysore, the Mystery of Mysore. Some say just their physical practice, but I've always had an easier time practicing at home alone than in the shawl.

The energy in there is intense to me and it makes me lose my focus, so I have to work that much harder, with my mind, to keep my focus and then that alone brings up all the buried emotional baggage I have. We have. And then we have a chance to work through them rather than keep them buried, or to just rebury them again and have to deal with hem later in life. I prefer to deal with them when they come up these days. Many years of burying shit allows for a lot of stuff to come up now, and it seems to come up in Mysore more than anywhere else.

This was the gist of most of the conversation in the video but it also got me thinking of m own experiences. Which are mostly the same but of course different because they are mine. So all of us seem to have it and that is why we go there, to learn more of the physical practice, which then brings more of the inner stuff up and then we work through it.

My little brother and I went most days to Santosha to eat breakfast, but we called it recovery. We had practiced, we had went home and showered and/or slept a bit then went there first thing in the morning and sat on their purple couch, allowing all the things that came up to just be there and sometimes we'd talk through them, sometimes we'd just let them be. It's the beauty there, everyone understands because they're also going through it so they don't pry or push, unless they're brand new sometimes, they just let you be where you are. It's good.

So when I wrote about having no clarity, then I actually got some. Part of that was that I want to be in Mysore, and when me and my travel companion bought our tickets I felt this immediate relief, my body and mind were like, yes HOME! So then more came as I looked at the dates and realised it was two weeks before we leave and arrive there. That made me realise we should just go to Uttarkashi, then when I see Sharath I can have some experience of the place to talk to him about it with more information. So I have someone checking on places to stay and Swami already checked on how to get there from here, so that is in the works. It may only be a little over a week, but It think the time will be better served up there than just lying around here.

There's not too much to do here in Rishikesh, if you're not doing a 200 or 500 hour level teacher training program. That is literally the majority of what goes on here. And you know I'm not doing that! I even thought about teaching here and put the word out a bit and there is some interest but not enough, so I'm not putting a lot of effort into it. Sharath told me maybe I should teach in Uttarkashi so I want to see it there and if I think it will work, it's a remote town and not a lot of tourists there, so we'll see.

In Mysore I can see him and talk about all this, work out what is the best to do and maybe stay a few weeks and enjoy the feeling of home. My temples are there, many people I know and love and the energy of Sharath, the energy of Ashtanga is there, so that drives my practice nicely. Pattabhi worked long and hard to establish this yoga method there and you can feel it.

I'm ready to teach though, I'm missing it. Teaching in Germany was very fulfilling and it gave me a new drive for it, so it feels like there's a little hole there. My own practice, then teaching, then going about my day. Hopefully that will change soon, not sure where, but I feel it coming.

Okay, going for a dip in the Ganga, it's hot here and she is cold. Then lunch after. Catch you later!