I love you and just wanted to put it in writing. I know you know how I feel now that you've left your body and are soaring in spirit. You did the very best with the tools and influences you were given and I will miss you. "The women in our family," as was our private joke so often (because they're such big worry worts) will miss you being here with them in your physical body much more than I, for I know that there is so much more to you. The full expression of your spirit is so much larger than the very little bit of it that squeezed into that body to keep it animated, and that I will always have contact with and will talk to and embrace on those times I do miss your physical presence. May you poke me here and there with little insights or reminders when I am less than noble in my behaviour and may the peace you feel now make all that struggle at the last part of your life worth it. How blessed am I and my sister and her two kids and Connie's kids for having even known you! Most people don't have an opportunity to know and care for their grandparents. How blessed am I to have been influenced by you, who always had such a strong love and sense of family and may I learn from that as I embark on my life path and grow with my new spiritual beliefs along with the family, including them, not excluding them as I often have.
Thanks. You were one great man and I shall love you always. Sat Nam!!!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
New Year
Hmmm, been a long time since I posted. Life has been changing and growing, like it always is, but I'm actually observing it happening these days. Rather than letting it happen and catching it a bit late lol!
In December I went to Lake Wales, Florida, to attend the Winter Solstice celebration put on by the 3HO organization, or the kundalini yoga people if you'd rather. I actually did a service scholarship so for a reduced fee I got to attend things as well as work my ass off to pay for the part I did not do! lol
And yes, lots of work it was. Inner and outer. I carried luggage a lot, from peoples cars to their cabins or tenting area and then in reverse. Which is all waaay more physical work than I do normally at home, anyone who knows me knows this to be true! So that in an of itself was a challenge. I also got to bond with some of the best people I've met in years, on said luggage crew, but also at the camp with those not on the luggage crew during meals, during early morning sadhana (and early is the truth, 3:45am, including chanting, a kundalini yoga set, another hour of singing/chanting a specific set of mantras in a specific order and then visiting the gurdwara to finish up), during white tantric yoga and many other activities.
The crux of the event is the 3 days of white tantric yoga. Previously I had only done one full day of the event in Chicago last April and one full day in Knoxville in October, both of which I had met people who were here for the the solstice event as well. 3 days is intense, to say the least, but is so much more than the one day in a myriad of ways. Each day was a different program, mostly sitting exercises, for 62 minutes or 31 minutes, one included a two hour nap, timed and a certain song played for it and the biggie; a 3 hour blind walk. Google it, I don't have the time or energy to explain it, just thinking about it is wearing me out! Ha!
All of this work affects you energetically and internally of course, and unfolds things within you over a 40 day period. I have quit drinking and eating most meats, and have been eating healthier and keeping up with a strong early morning sadhana of my own and hatha yoga and kundalini yoga almost daily, so that allows the energy movement to be freer and cleanse you of things no longer needed, subconsciously, much more easily. The time in April I still drank a bit and so wasn't as clean and had some major emotional goings on, to say the least. But this unfolding is interesting in that its intense but more smooth.
I feel like I'm completely changing and growing into a new person. My thoughts are moving in ways they never have before. They are more open, less judgmental and inclusive of things I never considered options before. I will be more specific on that once the unfolding slows down and I figure out exactly where I'm going in life. The thought of moving has always been there, but now I feel as if I'm finally ready. The idea of loving has always been there, but now I'm open to it and finding it around every corner from every person I encounter, just open hearted love and peace when met eye to eye. I feel more and more that I must share all this with others, and so exude the love and peace while I teach my hatha classes and am including some more of the kundalini type meditations to build the energy individually for my current students. I want them all to be happy and peaceful. I want to be more in touch with family and friends than ever before and just love them all unconditionally.
There is so much more swirling around in there, all good stuff, that I want to share but need more time to allow them to flow thru me first and figure some things out.
This year is amazing already, but is only going to get more amazing as it opens up and becomes more energized and free flowing and unlocks us more and more toward the Aquarian age. We are already feeling the intensity of the energy of that age unfolding all around us, within us, and hopefully I/we can all help one another as it builds more and more and grows us into who we really are---little balls of light wrapped up tight in these flesh packages. Little bits of divine energy! Look into peoples eyes, you will see it there, or not, that fire, those burning white irises, the color lightening, the intensity of their gaze.
Take a look at this little window a great friend of mine sent me on facebook, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3zJm98UXzQ , good stuff.
Think about it. But not too much, more importantly, feel it. Feel yourself and let those feeling unfold you into who you really are. Are you with me?!?
Sat Nam, Sat Inder Singh
In December I went to Lake Wales, Florida, to attend the Winter Solstice celebration put on by the 3HO organization, or the kundalini yoga people if you'd rather. I actually did a service scholarship so for a reduced fee I got to attend things as well as work my ass off to pay for the part I did not do! lol
And yes, lots of work it was. Inner and outer. I carried luggage a lot, from peoples cars to their cabins or tenting area and then in reverse. Which is all waaay more physical work than I do normally at home, anyone who knows me knows this to be true! So that in an of itself was a challenge. I also got to bond with some of the best people I've met in years, on said luggage crew, but also at the camp with those not on the luggage crew during meals, during early morning sadhana (and early is the truth, 3:45am, including chanting, a kundalini yoga set, another hour of singing/chanting a specific set of mantras in a specific order and then visiting the gurdwara to finish up), during white tantric yoga and many other activities.
The crux of the event is the 3 days of white tantric yoga. Previously I had only done one full day of the event in Chicago last April and one full day in Knoxville in October, both of which I had met people who were here for the the solstice event as well. 3 days is intense, to say the least, but is so much more than the one day in a myriad of ways. Each day was a different program, mostly sitting exercises, for 62 minutes or 31 minutes, one included a two hour nap, timed and a certain song played for it and the biggie; a 3 hour blind walk. Google it, I don't have the time or energy to explain it, just thinking about it is wearing me out! Ha!
All of this work affects you energetically and internally of course, and unfolds things within you over a 40 day period. I have quit drinking and eating most meats, and have been eating healthier and keeping up with a strong early morning sadhana of my own and hatha yoga and kundalini yoga almost daily, so that allows the energy movement to be freer and cleanse you of things no longer needed, subconsciously, much more easily. The time in April I still drank a bit and so wasn't as clean and had some major emotional goings on, to say the least. But this unfolding is interesting in that its intense but more smooth.
I feel like I'm completely changing and growing into a new person. My thoughts are moving in ways they never have before. They are more open, less judgmental and inclusive of things I never considered options before. I will be more specific on that once the unfolding slows down and I figure out exactly where I'm going in life. The thought of moving has always been there, but now I feel as if I'm finally ready. The idea of loving has always been there, but now I'm open to it and finding it around every corner from every person I encounter, just open hearted love and peace when met eye to eye. I feel more and more that I must share all this with others, and so exude the love and peace while I teach my hatha classes and am including some more of the kundalini type meditations to build the energy individually for my current students. I want them all to be happy and peaceful. I want to be more in touch with family and friends than ever before and just love them all unconditionally.
There is so much more swirling around in there, all good stuff, that I want to share but need more time to allow them to flow thru me first and figure some things out.
This year is amazing already, but is only going to get more amazing as it opens up and becomes more energized and free flowing and unlocks us more and more toward the Aquarian age. We are already feeling the intensity of the energy of that age unfolding all around us, within us, and hopefully I/we can all help one another as it builds more and more and grows us into who we really are---little balls of light wrapped up tight in these flesh packages. Little bits of divine energy! Look into peoples eyes, you will see it there, or not, that fire, those burning white irises, the color lightening, the intensity of their gaze.
Take a look at this little window a great friend of mine sent me on facebook, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3zJm98UXzQ , good stuff.
Think about it. But not too much, more importantly, feel it. Feel yourself and let those feeling unfold you into who you really are. Are you with me?!?
Sat Nam, Sat Inder Singh
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
What is Yoga?!?
All this talk about the taxing of yoga classes in the state of Missouri has me thinking, harder than ever, what does yoga mean to me? According to state officials it is an entertainment or exercise and should be taxed, the same idea was repealed in Massachusetts and Washington state. How does one prove it to them that is it more a spiritual discipline than anything?
Well, for one, and yes I'm just going to say it. I really think I hate yoga! It is my lifestyle by choice yes, but it is hard because you have to be in such a state of concentration while doing it, kundalini or hatha either one, otherwise you can hurt yourself and not gain the benefits of the practice. The concentration is the key, and once you can concentrate hard enough you can even disengage your brain, let it do that for you (staying one pointed) and talk or enjoy yourself with your mind. Trust me though it takes years to get to that point. Trust me also, it shakes you up on a physical level so hard that its touching you on a cellular level and at the cellular level is where your life starts to change.
And who wouldn't agree, its the hardest thing on the planet to be present during your whole life. Its hard and takes a lot out of you mentally, which may be the point so you're not living in your head or mind as it were, but living in your life. Paying attention while its going on around you, being with whomever you are with, teaching in the moment, making strong decisions easily because you're there and know what needs to be done. AND once you start down the path, you can't backup! Once you start waking up, even just 9/10ths of an eye open, you can't close them again!
You have no choice from here on out to be present. I know people who've tried to go back and they're miserable, because they know they're not doing what they should be doing, they KNOW is the point. Before you peek out from under that one eyelid you don't know, and therefor are full of avidya (ignorance), not in a conscious way but in a way that you don't even realize you don't know anything and are just living the illusory veil that has been spread over you as the tool to get you begin the path toward self-realization.
Sure, asana, (yogic postures) are just a tool. They are meant to keep the body healthy, the energy channels, muscles and joints open, so that you can sit, be happy and know that you are a divine being. So that you can feel said divinity illuminating you from within and spread it like a seed being planted across the microcosm you live in so that a whole forest of open-mindedness, peace, love and realization happens all around you! So once you reach that state of connection, you may no longer need that tool. I say that I used to practice 2-3 hours a day 6-7 days a week and now I practice kundalini almost daily, to stay feeling light and connected and my body doesn't need the strong asana practice as much, so maybe 2-3 days a week and I anticipate I may not need it that much in the future. I may not need any practices at all once my energy channels are fully open and my body is fully open and my mind is fully and completely open to the divine, or God, or whatever it is you'd like to call it. If you're mind is there, then your body will be there right? And eventually not even the body anymore, just the spirit.
But we still live in a solid world, for now, so these practices can help us to get lighter, to realize our inner potential, to realize our inner divinity if you like. But trust me again when I say, they are the hardest things I've done with myself, physically and mentally, and therefor cannot be considered an entertainment. Yes my muscles and glandular systems do stay in amazing shape do to the physical practices that I enter into most days, but that is a side effect and not the initial focus of these things.
And while I said earlier, I hate yoga, that was just for dramatic effect. I do have trouble with it some days, as most people do, because some days you just want to remain asleep, not be awakened. But most days, I love it, and the fact that it has made me smarter, brighter, happier, more peaceful inside, as well as out, more in touch with myself, sexier, more loving, a better teacher ... I could go on and on, but won't.
Its a hard discipline, but has changed my life and those whom have also chosen it as a path around me, for the better and keeps helping us in our evolutions, making us stronger and more full of resolve to be who we are and be in union with our divine, connected to our source, and I'm good with that.
Come to a class and check it out if you haven't already, if you hate it, fine, you won't start the wake up process and perhaps aren't ready to, but maybe, just maybe you'll get the bug too. The wake up bug, and its bite doesn't hurt so bad, just a little ...
Well, for one, and yes I'm just going to say it. I really think I hate yoga! It is my lifestyle by choice yes, but it is hard because you have to be in such a state of concentration while doing it, kundalini or hatha either one, otherwise you can hurt yourself and not gain the benefits of the practice. The concentration is the key, and once you can concentrate hard enough you can even disengage your brain, let it do that for you (staying one pointed) and talk or enjoy yourself with your mind. Trust me though it takes years to get to that point. Trust me also, it shakes you up on a physical level so hard that its touching you on a cellular level and at the cellular level is where your life starts to change.
And who wouldn't agree, its the hardest thing on the planet to be present during your whole life. Its hard and takes a lot out of you mentally, which may be the point so you're not living in your head or mind as it were, but living in your life. Paying attention while its going on around you, being with whomever you are with, teaching in the moment, making strong decisions easily because you're there and know what needs to be done. AND once you start down the path, you can't backup! Once you start waking up, even just 9/10ths of an eye open, you can't close them again!
You have no choice from here on out to be present. I know people who've tried to go back and they're miserable, because they know they're not doing what they should be doing, they KNOW is the point. Before you peek out from under that one eyelid you don't know, and therefor are full of avidya (ignorance), not in a conscious way but in a way that you don't even realize you don't know anything and are just living the illusory veil that has been spread over you as the tool to get you begin the path toward self-realization.
Sure, asana, (yogic postures) are just a tool. They are meant to keep the body healthy, the energy channels, muscles and joints open, so that you can sit, be happy and know that you are a divine being. So that you can feel said divinity illuminating you from within and spread it like a seed being planted across the microcosm you live in so that a whole forest of open-mindedness, peace, love and realization happens all around you! So once you reach that state of connection, you may no longer need that tool. I say that I used to practice 2-3 hours a day 6-7 days a week and now I practice kundalini almost daily, to stay feeling light and connected and my body doesn't need the strong asana practice as much, so maybe 2-3 days a week and I anticipate I may not need it that much in the future. I may not need any practices at all once my energy channels are fully open and my body is fully open and my mind is fully and completely open to the divine, or God, or whatever it is you'd like to call it. If you're mind is there, then your body will be there right? And eventually not even the body anymore, just the spirit.
But we still live in a solid world, for now, so these practices can help us to get lighter, to realize our inner potential, to realize our inner divinity if you like. But trust me again when I say, they are the hardest things I've done with myself, physically and mentally, and therefor cannot be considered an entertainment. Yes my muscles and glandular systems do stay in amazing shape do to the physical practices that I enter into most days, but that is a side effect and not the initial focus of these things.
And while I said earlier, I hate yoga, that was just for dramatic effect. I do have trouble with it some days, as most people do, because some days you just want to remain asleep, not be awakened. But most days, I love it, and the fact that it has made me smarter, brighter, happier, more peaceful inside, as well as out, more in touch with myself, sexier, more loving, a better teacher ... I could go on and on, but won't.
Its a hard discipline, but has changed my life and those whom have also chosen it as a path around me, for the better and keeps helping us in our evolutions, making us stronger and more full of resolve to be who we are and be in union with our divine, connected to our source, and I'm good with that.
Come to a class and check it out if you haven't already, if you hate it, fine, you won't start the wake up process and perhaps aren't ready to, but maybe, just maybe you'll get the bug too. The wake up bug, and its bite doesn't hurt so bad, just a little ...
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Companionship
A friend of mine used this word with me yesterday, thanking me by text for companionship of the day, even though we'd been in the same place for almost 8 hours but had spent almost all of the time separated. So I was surprised at the use of that word in particular.
Is companionship just the fact that you both knew you both were there or would companionship have been the actually having sat together through each little performance (it was a musically oriented day) and being able to share the experience with the person rather than alone and meeting up at the end? Obviously I feel one way and he the other, so that brings it down to a fact of perspective right?
So isn't everything about perspective? You and I go and have one experience, both in the same place at the same time, say watching the same play and both have completely different stories about what happened in the play and it made both of us feel completely different. And life is filled with these little situations where we all think everything is completely opposite of what someone else who was thought it was. Which is right? Why does one have to be right and one not? If you questioned everyone who had watched the play perhaps you'd get a different response from each and every one of them, so then how would you determine who's right? You wouldn't, you'd just have to agree to disagree and know that everyone has their own truth.
I do know why my idea of companionship would have ideally been the two of us, both sitting together, discussing each performance as it happened, enjoying the situation (or not as it may have been) and milling about together, eating together and leaving and heading home together.
Part of it is that its fall and I'm in the mood for a snuggling partner and to settle in for winter with someone to hibernate with so as to keep one another warm. The other part is that I'm ready for a companion in life. Ready to share everything with someone, waking up, morning yoga practice, breakfast and shower after and then dinner in the evening, if not lunch in between. Talking about everything that pops into our heads. Listening to music together, perhaps even singing and playing music together. Taking long walks in the fall coolness. God, I could go on forever (I'm feeling a bit romantic today!). But you get the picture right?
So, I'm also a yogi, so am practiced at being resolute within myself, whether the above scenario is in play or not. So I am happy and enjoying life and feel great. Funny thing is that those things make you want to share your life with someone even more! You feel so goddamn good that you want someone else to be there who'll benefit from that, and maybe you'll inspire them to feel good too, or vice versa. Share in the feeling good. So while I'm okay being where I am in life, I am also still in want of more.
Now, I have great friends to spend time with, I have a great family to do the same with but the type of intimacy I speak of now is different and you all know what I'm saying, so I won't patronize you by describing it any more fully than I already have.
I'm just putting it out in the universe that its time. Studying Abraham-Hicks teachings on the law of attraction, its all about putting it out there and letting go of the results and keeping your vibration in line with the things you want even though you don't have them and they will come to you. This is true I know, I have proven it time and again to myself and when I'm not lined up vibrationally it doesn't come and I feel frustrated because I can feel it there waiting for me and not coming.
So now, I'm putting it out there fully and completely and am letting go of the outcome. I am making peace with where I am, or have already made peace with it, but am now letting go of it and letting the universe take care of it. Done!
(wow, that started in one vain and completely went another way I had not anticipated)
Is companionship just the fact that you both knew you both were there or would companionship have been the actually having sat together through each little performance (it was a musically oriented day) and being able to share the experience with the person rather than alone and meeting up at the end? Obviously I feel one way and he the other, so that brings it down to a fact of perspective right?
So isn't everything about perspective? You and I go and have one experience, both in the same place at the same time, say watching the same play and both have completely different stories about what happened in the play and it made both of us feel completely different. And life is filled with these little situations where we all think everything is completely opposite of what someone else who was thought it was. Which is right? Why does one have to be right and one not? If you questioned everyone who had watched the play perhaps you'd get a different response from each and every one of them, so then how would you determine who's right? You wouldn't, you'd just have to agree to disagree and know that everyone has their own truth.
I do know why my idea of companionship would have ideally been the two of us, both sitting together, discussing each performance as it happened, enjoying the situation (or not as it may have been) and milling about together, eating together and leaving and heading home together.
Part of it is that its fall and I'm in the mood for a snuggling partner and to settle in for winter with someone to hibernate with so as to keep one another warm. The other part is that I'm ready for a companion in life. Ready to share everything with someone, waking up, morning yoga practice, breakfast and shower after and then dinner in the evening, if not lunch in between. Talking about everything that pops into our heads. Listening to music together, perhaps even singing and playing music together. Taking long walks in the fall coolness. God, I could go on forever (I'm feeling a bit romantic today!). But you get the picture right?
So, I'm also a yogi, so am practiced at being resolute within myself, whether the above scenario is in play or not. So I am happy and enjoying life and feel great. Funny thing is that those things make you want to share your life with someone even more! You feel so goddamn good that you want someone else to be there who'll benefit from that, and maybe you'll inspire them to feel good too, or vice versa. Share in the feeling good. So while I'm okay being where I am in life, I am also still in want of more.
Now, I have great friends to spend time with, I have a great family to do the same with but the type of intimacy I speak of now is different and you all know what I'm saying, so I won't patronize you by describing it any more fully than I already have.
I'm just putting it out in the universe that its time. Studying Abraham-Hicks teachings on the law of attraction, its all about putting it out there and letting go of the results and keeping your vibration in line with the things you want even though you don't have them and they will come to you. This is true I know, I have proven it time and again to myself and when I'm not lined up vibrationally it doesn't come and I feel frustrated because I can feel it there waiting for me and not coming.
So now, I'm putting it out there fully and completely and am letting go of the outcome. I am making peace with where I am, or have already made peace with it, but am now letting go of it and letting the universe take care of it. Done!
(wow, that started in one vain and completely went another way I had not anticipated)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Yogi Bhajan quote . . .
Meditation is not what you do in the morning, that is your practice. Meditation is the way you feel the rest of the day after your practice.
This quote has been on my mind a lot lately. I used it as a theme in a class this morning encouraging the students to concentrate on what they were doing, be present and then the meditative experience would come after that.
In classical yoga as laid out by Patanjali dharana (concentration) comes first, then dhyana (meditation). It makes sense. I don't always agree that the limbs of his yoga are meant to be performed linearly but happen when they are ready to happen, but in this case, having practiced yoga for almost 10 years I do. If you pay attention to what your doing during your practice, breath, movement, energy, alignment of the bones and muscles, in other words be fully present, that the rest of the day it will be easier to focus, easier to move, easier to feel whats going on inside your body, easier to be present with whomever you are with at the time or with whatever situation comes up.
Its funny how lazy people are, myself included sometimes. THinking about being awake usually for 18 hours a day and to take an hour and a half of said day to focus and get yourself together doesnt' seem like a lot of time to dedicate towards your own happiness, peace of mind, contentment, does it? Am I asking too much? I don't think so.
The students this morning responded well to the ideas I threw out during class and commented on it after, so I think they felt what I was saying, you know, they got it. It felt to me like a great class and many of them said so after, so I guess the theme got across.
Thats what I want to do, express ideas, be creative and inspire others to open themselves up to being more aware and being more present in their own lives. Thats what I want from my teaching, right now anyway. I want to draw the students to my classes that want to learn tools to delve into themselves more and feel whats going on and make decisions from that point and maybe, just maybe I am!
Have a lovely day! Sat Nam.
This quote has been on my mind a lot lately. I used it as a theme in a class this morning encouraging the students to concentrate on what they were doing, be present and then the meditative experience would come after that.
In classical yoga as laid out by Patanjali dharana (concentration) comes first, then dhyana (meditation). It makes sense. I don't always agree that the limbs of his yoga are meant to be performed linearly but happen when they are ready to happen, but in this case, having practiced yoga for almost 10 years I do. If you pay attention to what your doing during your practice, breath, movement, energy, alignment of the bones and muscles, in other words be fully present, that the rest of the day it will be easier to focus, easier to move, easier to feel whats going on inside your body, easier to be present with whomever you are with at the time or with whatever situation comes up.
Its funny how lazy people are, myself included sometimes. THinking about being awake usually for 18 hours a day and to take an hour and a half of said day to focus and get yourself together doesnt' seem like a lot of time to dedicate towards your own happiness, peace of mind, contentment, does it? Am I asking too much? I don't think so.
The students this morning responded well to the ideas I threw out during class and commented on it after, so I think they felt what I was saying, you know, they got it. It felt to me like a great class and many of them said so after, so I guess the theme got across.
Thats what I want to do, express ideas, be creative and inspire others to open themselves up to being more aware and being more present in their own lives. Thats what I want from my teaching, right now anyway. I want to draw the students to my classes that want to learn tools to delve into themselves more and feel whats going on and make decisions from that point and maybe, just maybe I am!
Have a lovely day! Sat Nam.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
addiction
Addiction has been coming up a lot this week, on tv, with friends and even in yogic circles.
There was a guy on a news story at my hotel in Knoxville, TN about a man who runs now, having replaced his drug and alcohol addiction with that. The story was about replacing one addiction with another and is it better to have the healthy addiction or the unhealthy one or is an addiction an addiction?
I think an addiction is an addiction, because even if you have an addiction to a healthy thing, too much of it can be bad. Its about the balance right?
This weekend my roommate and I were in Tennessee for another White Tantric Yoga: a Kundalini Yoga day long event that incorporates movement, chanting and pranayama into a 9 hour or so extravaganza of energy building. Its quite and amazing thing and the energy you feel traveling through your body during and after (for about 40 days) is palpable. Almost feeling high, all of the time, to the point you have to really concentrate to function in regular life, as well as do a lot of grounding work. I've been walking in the park and doing hatha yoga to balance it out. It also has life changing qualities if you can maintain and handle the intensity of the energy moving through your life. It will change and for the better, maybe bringing out the bad stuff, or less desirable stuff in the process. But its intense for sure.
Anyhow, the point being, after taking part in this and feeling its effects I can see where it could be an addiction. Feeling good, what can be better than that right? And so you get attached to it, and attachment is not what yoga is about. Its about using the techniques and the energy created, built up or let free from its bindings within your body to find non-attachment to the things of life. Not its bad having or doing things, or wanting things, but being attached to them seems to me not such a great thing. When you can't let go it can become a problem. For sure.
Not judging anyone for being attached, for gods sake we're all human and attachment is part of it. Finding ways to let go can be part of it, especially if you're following a yogic path, since it teaches you tools to become less attached to things.
Addiction seems to me to be just an over-attachment to things, or people, and lack of presence in your daily life, moment to moment living. I know, I know, that has got the be the hardest thing but if you're not giving your present the awareness it deserves it will become something you think about with regret later. Maybe, maybe not.
I say stop thinking about it so much. Thinking about the people, places and things and just being. Just finding ways to feel good in every moment, thinking the thoughts that will help you feel better rather than dwelling on those things that are not making you feel good, which we are wont to do right?
Oh well, I'm done. I can talk about it forever but either you'll get the idea or you won't and think I'm crazy and thats okay too (I may be crazy) but I'm just like you, trying to get through life with as much happiness and peace as possible and leaving as little in my wake as possible.
So find a little happiness, right now, even if its just a thought that makes you feel better. If not, go on my facebook page and watch the old lady give her raunchy and abrupt version of advice and if that doesnt' make you laugh and feel better, nothing can.
Take care, sat nam!!!
There was a guy on a news story at my hotel in Knoxville, TN about a man who runs now, having replaced his drug and alcohol addiction with that. The story was about replacing one addiction with another and is it better to have the healthy addiction or the unhealthy one or is an addiction an addiction?
I think an addiction is an addiction, because even if you have an addiction to a healthy thing, too much of it can be bad. Its about the balance right?
This weekend my roommate and I were in Tennessee for another White Tantric Yoga: a Kundalini Yoga day long event that incorporates movement, chanting and pranayama into a 9 hour or so extravaganza of energy building. Its quite and amazing thing and the energy you feel traveling through your body during and after (for about 40 days) is palpable. Almost feeling high, all of the time, to the point you have to really concentrate to function in regular life, as well as do a lot of grounding work. I've been walking in the park and doing hatha yoga to balance it out. It also has life changing qualities if you can maintain and handle the intensity of the energy moving through your life. It will change and for the better, maybe bringing out the bad stuff, or less desirable stuff in the process. But its intense for sure.
Anyhow, the point being, after taking part in this and feeling its effects I can see where it could be an addiction. Feeling good, what can be better than that right? And so you get attached to it, and attachment is not what yoga is about. Its about using the techniques and the energy created, built up or let free from its bindings within your body to find non-attachment to the things of life. Not its bad having or doing things, or wanting things, but being attached to them seems to me not such a great thing. When you can't let go it can become a problem. For sure.
Not judging anyone for being attached, for gods sake we're all human and attachment is part of it. Finding ways to let go can be part of it, especially if you're following a yogic path, since it teaches you tools to become less attached to things.
Addiction seems to me to be just an over-attachment to things, or people, and lack of presence in your daily life, moment to moment living. I know, I know, that has got the be the hardest thing but if you're not giving your present the awareness it deserves it will become something you think about with regret later. Maybe, maybe not.
I say stop thinking about it so much. Thinking about the people, places and things and just being. Just finding ways to feel good in every moment, thinking the thoughts that will help you feel better rather than dwelling on those things that are not making you feel good, which we are wont to do right?
Oh well, I'm done. I can talk about it forever but either you'll get the idea or you won't and think I'm crazy and thats okay too (I may be crazy) but I'm just like you, trying to get through life with as much happiness and peace as possible and leaving as little in my wake as possible.
So find a little happiness, right now, even if its just a thought that makes you feel better. If not, go on my facebook page and watch the old lady give her raunchy and abrupt version of advice and if that doesnt' make you laugh and feel better, nothing can.
Take care, sat nam!!!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Autumn again
This time of year always seems to start people turning inward. Me included. I have been doing some more intense hatha and kundalini practices to keep my energy from going in the bucket and its helped exponentially. But it still feels like the right time to be internal, fold into myself, even if its just a bit.
Its the weather that makes me want to snuggle up and read a good book (of which I'll be doing tonight, reading the Harry Potter series) or snuggle up with a cuddly someone and just chat and watch tv. The latter being moreso where my mind has been lately, and yes I have someone in mind, not just sure if said someone has me in mind though so so far thats been a no go. So far.
Last year I remember having a hard time with this time of year, not even wanting to get out of the house, but this year its different. Example; today I had to teach in the park, the park class has been humongous this year, so for sure I wouldn't be being alone! But the whole while I was teaching I felt internalized and like I was there by myself. I hung out for a bit after and then went off to read in my car and see a movie, both alone. So even though I was in the public eye, I still had the ability to keep my energy within and not overextend myself to the point I felt drained. Last year I had a hard time doing that, this year I've been practicing kundalini so intensely (twice a day, most days) that its nice to see the difference in my will power.
As far as the being alone part, I think I'm mostly okay with that. My practices have helped me come to terms with that. Even though I have been spending time with that certain someone a bit more often, I'm not pushing it and trying to move faster, because I've done that before and the response is not a good one lol. But in biding my time, I was never a good one. Not so this time around. I seem to be okay with it most days, some days not so much, I am human anyway. At least partially.
My teaching has also started to shift again. Not so sure what the turning point was but I have noticed I've been laying out more alignment instructions during my flow than I was and doing more static poses. Whereas this past year has brought me back to teaching some strong vinyasa. And my physical practice has been some strong vinyasa, hmmm, maybe I'm just seeing a lot of bad alignment and its coming out automatically. Who knows. Classes have picked up attendance-wise since its been cooler.
Not much to say in the way of profundity for sure, just felt the need to write a little something acknowledging the change in the season, the changes in myself and in those around me I'm noticing.
Sat Nam!
Its the weather that makes me want to snuggle up and read a good book (of which I'll be doing tonight, reading the Harry Potter series) or snuggle up with a cuddly someone and just chat and watch tv. The latter being moreso where my mind has been lately, and yes I have someone in mind, not just sure if said someone has me in mind though so so far thats been a no go. So far.
Last year I remember having a hard time with this time of year, not even wanting to get out of the house, but this year its different. Example; today I had to teach in the park, the park class has been humongous this year, so for sure I wouldn't be being alone! But the whole while I was teaching I felt internalized and like I was there by myself. I hung out for a bit after and then went off to read in my car and see a movie, both alone. So even though I was in the public eye, I still had the ability to keep my energy within and not overextend myself to the point I felt drained. Last year I had a hard time doing that, this year I've been practicing kundalini so intensely (twice a day, most days) that its nice to see the difference in my will power.
As far as the being alone part, I think I'm mostly okay with that. My practices have helped me come to terms with that. Even though I have been spending time with that certain someone a bit more often, I'm not pushing it and trying to move faster, because I've done that before and the response is not a good one lol. But in biding my time, I was never a good one. Not so this time around. I seem to be okay with it most days, some days not so much, I am human anyway. At least partially.
My teaching has also started to shift again. Not so sure what the turning point was but I have noticed I've been laying out more alignment instructions during my flow than I was and doing more static poses. Whereas this past year has brought me back to teaching some strong vinyasa. And my physical practice has been some strong vinyasa, hmmm, maybe I'm just seeing a lot of bad alignment and its coming out automatically. Who knows. Classes have picked up attendance-wise since its been cooler.
Not much to say in the way of profundity for sure, just felt the need to write a little something acknowledging the change in the season, the changes in myself and in those around me I'm noticing.
Sat Nam!
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