When your guru blocks you on social media...

I wasn't going to write about this, but I decided after two weeks to go ahead. I'm not one to shy away from things.

So a few weeks back Sharath shared a photo of him in a one handed handstand against the wall, I shared this as well on Instagram and Facebook. I saw a guy comment about him using the wall but then didn't see any more about it but heard that Sharath responded to him and a bit of an argument happened, again, I didn't see this but I heard about it. After that his original post got taken down.

After that someone commented on mine about the situation that had happened on his. No big deal.

But a couple weeks after that I can't locate his account, it often was the first one I saw in my feed in the mornings, and would often share the stuff he posted. I am a big proponent of his after all. So I assumed the incident had caused him to close his account, but then a few days later saw others sharing posts from his page that I'd not seen before and so did some asking around and had people forward me screen shots of his account, which was still open and had new posts. So immediately I freaked out that I'd done something wrong and was whining, Amy, my dear friend who is in Mysore right now happened to receive all this from me hahaha, sorry Amy.

I got up and practiced and felt better after that, but it still bothered me. Now I've practiced with the intention of letting go of things for the past week and I completely forgot about it until someone just asked me about a new post he'd put up, and oddly enough it didn't bother me. So I feel like I've done the work properly!

Anyhow, should it bother me that a man I am deeply devoted to, and who is my connection to the lineage of my chosen path and profession in life, not to mention is my connection to Guruji whom I loved dearly, has blocked me? I mean I've had many conversations with him, I feel a strong kinship and bond with him, so whatever his reasoning, should it bother me? I've spent a lot of time and money investing in the practice under his tutelage and have learned a lot, from the practice and him, and still have memories of Guruji that I learn from. He usually talks badly about social media and so we were all surprised when he opened an account anyway. Hmmmm...

I don't know, I still feel deeply connected to him and that he will be my teacher still in the future and I still feel strongly for the Ashtanga Yoga and Mysore. So I guess I'm okay?

How can that be. I've been such a fucked up mess for so long that finally all this work I've done is kicking in?!? hahahaha, that's how it feels, but then I also don't want to get too big for my britches and cocky about it. Although it is nice to notice some things are bothering you less, and/or for lesser amounts of time than they used to. I'm feeling good.

The students here are great and I'm settling in nicely, now the rest of the day and tomorrow is off, so time to go revel in that. See you soon!