Leaving...

Well, my time in Mysore is coming to a close shortly. Last year when I was here one month past my time in the shala is when I really fell in love with being here and decided, no matter what comes up I have to live in India, in some way shape or form...

When I got asked this past summer to sub for four months in Germany this spring I got excited because making the money would facilitate me being able to travel around and see where I want to live in India. But I never realised that leaving was going to have such a hard effect on me.

Now it's here and boom, my heart feels like its being ripped from my body. Germany for sure is going to be a great experience and a great opportunity for my first travel and teach, so I'm not complaining. Just saying boy this is hard!

I've gotten closer with many people this trip, including myself. My body as figured out how to be in a comfortable place much more than any previous trips. But more so than that, my mind has made a lot of space and learned how to be there, and maintain it, without much work. Which will be likely to change, but let's see, maybe it will still be not so hard.

There is so much change going on back in the US I don't know how I'd feel if I were having to go back there, so I'm very glad I'm not.

Anyway, to focus on the good, almost this whole week I've gone to temples that I usually frequent and its like they know that I'm leaving and have brought me special prasad or given me more, bigger flowers, or this morning in the Lakshmi Venkateshwara temple I was invited into the sanctum to sit right in front of the deity, which never happens. So cool and yet so melancholy inductive experiences lol. I love these things and know that I'll be back and know that this stuff is all in my heart, so I know that I'll be fine and happy and whole. Maybe even for my deep experiences within myself this season in Mysore I'll even be better than usual and maintain this inner place I've managed to make.

So if you happen to read this I'll be at Santosha in the morning for breakfast, and likely at Diba's Cafe for lunch, not sure about the rest of the day but come say good bye will ya!