This morning my alarm went off, I'd gotten enough sleep so awakened fairly easily but my body was just done. It was sore, it was tired, so I made an executive decision to stay in bed. It was so nice so sleep in. I didn't sleep deep, just dozed really. My body and mind are used to being up already at that time but sometimes that's what we need, so I woke up eventually and rubbed myself all over with castor oil to take away all that soreness, which is did quite nicely, and just soaked in it for about 45 minutes then showered it off. Then I proceeded to do pranayama and chant. Such a nice morning, now I sit and wait for the time to leave and have a coconut or two and meet some friends for breakfast.
I could be feeling badly and beating myself up mentally for coming all the way to the other side of the planet to study with my teacher and then having the nerve to miss a day, but I'm not doing that anymore. My body is a different body than it was when I was practicing intermediate and adding on third series daily. It's a little be creakier and doing primary and adding on a bit of intermediate doesn't seem to be making it super happy these days lol, and so when I need it I'm going to take that extra day off with no judgment of self. Feel free to judge me if you like, I love you, but truly I really don't give a shit what you think of me!
This is my next to last week practicing here at the shala with Sharath and I'll miss it and him, and all my friends that I get to see but I'm excited for the next chapter on my journey. Not exactly sure where it will take me but I feel great things are there waiting for me to allow them in.
Lately many, many that I've met from these past three trips and gotten to know well, are getting authorized. Authorization, for those who don't know, means that Sharath has given his blessing for you to teach. Level one or level two, one means you can teach primary, two means you can teach intermediate. Most of them when I congratulate them ask me, didn't he authorize you yet?!? And of course it hasn't happened yet, I'm not sure why, but I'm also pretty sure my body isn't making as much progress as he'd like to see before giving me even level one but also if he would bestow this honor on me I can't afford it anyway. Yes, you have to pay for it, but that's no big deal. It's a big amount but if you're Yoga Alliance registered you pay yearly and it ends up adding up to much more. But also this is an honor and is the traditional way of learning, once your teacher feels you're ready to teach they send you out to teach.
Does authorization matter to me? Maybe, probably... Yes, but because it will be him showing his faith in me and not just me making my way through a few requirements from some company that doesn't really even mean anything and has fooled the whole planet into believing that they do (yes folks, they are an american organization, not an international one and their rules don't mean anything to your country). But that said, I know he knows I"m dedicated, he sees me practice daily (well, most days lol) and helps me often and also uses me for comedic relief with our back and forth banter to entertain whomever happens to be hearing our odd conversations about my overeating of pizza and such.
I've already been teaching since 2001 and have students that have been with me since then and I've been practicing since 2000, so I don't feel unqualified to teach what I've learned through this practice, or what I've learned from teaching this practice, which is very priceless! So eventually if I get authorized it will be nice, but for now I'm okay without it.
After I am finished at the shala I take a trip to a university near the west coast here in India and am teaching a bit there for a week. Then will do a little traveling. My goal is to check out opportunities during this time that would allow me to teach here in India and not go back to the US. I get something here that I'm not able to maintain once back there, and so would like to stay for a while until I learn more about how to better maintain that "thing" that I get here. I won't name what it is exactly, mostly because I can't, but if you're coming here regularly you know what I mean.
I can picture myself being an older yogi, teaching in the mornings somewhere here in the North, possibly West coast, where people are coming from all different places to take practice with me. Still practicing with my occasional extra day off. Going to visit Sharath or maybe it'll be Sambav by then teaching and practicing in the shala there and then making my way back to teach again, maybe visiting temples all around this continent from time to time, all the while making a decent living and eating great food and loving life, maybe with a partner, or not, but happy no matter what.
Ahhh, that sounds nice doesn't it?
2 comments:
much love you to. I wish you the best
Glad to hear that you aren't fretting the authorization. I made the choice to leave after a month this year and forgo potentially getting it so that my kid could spend the holidays with family. Also....wasn't getting over my cold and I really needed to be back in my comfort zone. Anyway, it was a hard decision realizing that I might have abandoned my third trip and missed such an honor....but we don't go to Mysore for authorization. Honestly, I was getting a lot of pressure from people back home to come back with it this year and I didn't care for that obsession. His blessing is important to me and it doesn't make or break me as a teacher. I know people who have been practicing for just a few years and are authorized. I don't think that designation gives them more authority than I, though like I said, I hope to get his blessing one day....maybe next year!
Enjoy your travels through India! I can't wait to read about them here and on FB!
Post a Comment