Alchemy...

There is an alchemical precept that goes something like this: Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise.

I think this applies to Ashtanga Yoga as an asana practice, probably to all the other limbs as well because as one changes ones habit patterns through repeatedly catching oneself when they are "going there" it can also create what seems like magic when eventually you no longer "go there" so easily and don't have to catch yourself, you just automatically choose to take the higher path. But for the sake of this conversation lets stick with the asana practice known as Ashtanga Yoga.

This path you are forced, if you follow it exclusively, to stick with the same sequence of postures, the same sequence of inhales and exhales, the same sequence of movements of the body, for a long time. For some its longer than others, as the body open up and relaxes new postures are added and then the next sequence is what you adhere to but then that becomes your new repetitive sequence until you move into the next stage of practice. Those of you who practice Ashtanga know what I'm talking about, this discussion is not for the technicalities of said practice.

So what happens, doing these same things all the time? First off, you are able to notice progress more quickly, also notice stagnancy or even backward movement in the body. Opening sometimes takes two steps back and one step forward, or seemingly sits still for a long period of time. This brings up your emotions about that progress, but even more so, brings up emotions that were buried underneath those physical layers, but also as those emotions come up energy starts to move and as energy moves, the body frees up or becomes energized in new ways.

During all this most of us tend to tighten up our muscles thinking we need to hold this things right back where we were because forward movement after all is not something most of us are taught as children. Holding on to things as they are is what most of us were taught, for dear life sometimes.

But if we can relax our muscles, breathe deep, allow our jaws to unclench and let go of the tension behind our eyes and between our ears, this can be the most beautiful of transformations.

Ten years ago I purchase a dvd called Guru, it was all of 27 minutes long and was about the 90th birthday celebrations of the proponent of our asana practice. Sri K. Pattabhi Jois. In it Dominic Corigliano says something to the effect of how strange it is we all go through this daily drama together and don't really even know each other but feel so close and like we all actually do know each other. He said many less words than that, but that was my interpretation of it. Also now that feeling of closeness is accentuated by Facebook and other social media avenues. I even had a lady today ask me a question while I was having lunch and said if you don't know it no one will, I see you know almost everything from your Facebook posts. I do not however know much of anything, I just pay attention to things so may have a suggestion or two.

So we're here, we're all practicing and especially if you're in the room at the same time as this whole same group for three months, or even less, but three months really creates a deep idea of what you think you know about a person. You really then feel you do know these people. I even would go so far as to say I love them. There are many who I've practiced next to for the whole time and the energy you get familiar with, even the scents of them around you as they heat up and start to sweat and release toxins, becomes so familiar. Even what someones hair looks like after they begin to sweat, or their little pattern of hesitation just before this same asana or the jump back.

Back in St. Louis I teach a Mysore program and so am familiar with the few regulars I have, and can tell their patterns just by their body movements or their expressions. So I can only imagine what its like for Sharath, or the assistants, to see these same people for months at a time and notice their "stuff" as it comes up. And people wonder how Sharath remembers everyone and what posture they're stopping at, or how they stop a little too long before back bending (this one is me) and can see the potential and can also see when that potential is not being reached. It must be amazingly fulfilling, frustrating and so many other things that I can't think of the name of right now. It's definitely an experience.

Really, what we're all here having is a major experience. It can be intense, sometimes too intense. It can be fulfilling, like when you stand up from a back bend the first time, or catch that bind you've never quite gotten on your own before, or actually cleared the floor in that jump through, or jump back, for the very first time. That sense of accomplishment and achievement. You can get caught up in searching for that, and make that your goal. And then possibly start only feeling a sense of expansion or forward movement when you "get" the next posture or finally get split and can only do intermediate series without adding it on to primary. And if you get stuck thinking that is the goal, then that's where you are.

But I'm here to tell you the real juice of this practice comes from maybe when you are stuck at pasasana for two whole seasons and are finally getting closer and closer (yes, me again) or were binding in supra kurmasana all on your own at home and after arriving in Mysore can't seem to come close to binding in it without help, but maybe the last few days have been touching fingers back there behind you somewhere (yes, me again! lol) or were given tic tocs and wonder how in the fucking hell can anyone go over backwards back to a forward bend when the going up and over into the back bend seems so accessible, or have been working two seasons to complete primary, finally do, only to have to work on standing up and dropping back and then come that third season and boom, finally stand up one time, but can't do it again for like three weeks, then can and can, then not, then can and can and can and...

You get my point? We're all in this drama together. Most of us, if we are really practicing the yoga, not just the asana, don't even care what series you're on, or what posture in said series you're being stopped at. We just all know that we're all here, doing the same things day in and day out and are slowing growing and becoming more and more of the people we want to be and noticing when you're becoming more and more of the person you would like to be.

Some of us realize we are in place and need other tools, this trip I've started chanting more and more and in doing jappa, which is another form of repitition, have seen that forward movement more easily within myself, in my mind. Or whatever it is that you might need to balance out all the asana, maybe taking an extra day off during the week (yes, yet me again haha).

Yoga means union, or I tend to use the word connection more frequently than that. Connection to what? Connection to yourself, your inner voice, your intuition. Connection to others, who are really just mirrors anyway of whatever we're putting out. Connection to god or spirit, which really to me is just our inner being or inner voice. So connection? Maybe its just realization. Realization that we are all in one way or another different aspects of the one, so the same thing in some ways? Maybe...

I often say I hate yoga, and for all intents and purposes I do. And I say that because its a hard path, looking at yourself all the time, showing others how to look at themselves all the time. But hate is just the opposite side of the coin of love. So I also love it, it has shown me where I lack, has shown me where my strengths are, has shown me how to be self contemplative which has taught me how to love both myself and turn that love outwards. When you love, you draw love back to you. When you embrace the darkness or the emotions you may not always want to admit you have, rather than bury them or run from them, they slowly slip away and are integrated into that love.

I think this is why I'm so open with how I feel and so openly share it, in this blog, on Facebook or in person, because its me being human, and even though it may be spirit or divinity animating this flesh suit, while we're in it we are human.

Yogi Bhajan used to describe human in this way hu or hue = light, man = mind, so a human is the light of the mind. Not a bad way to think of us, huh?