Saturday, January 31, 2015

Last day...

So it's my last full day in Mysore. I feel like I should be sad, but I can't say that I'm sad. I'm not super happy to be going home either, mostly because it's still winter and there's snow expected the day of my arrival and it's a lovely 80 degrees here in the late morning, but that's something I just have to deal with.

I woke up this morning and lie in bed for a while looking at Facebook and watching a few videos before finally getting up and practicing. Sunday is our day off here but I figure since I'm not going to be able to practice tomorrow or Tuesday it would be good to get on the plane with my body as open and ready as possible.

My flight doesn't actually leave until 7am tomorrow morning but I leave from Gokulam in a cab for the 3.5 hour drive tonight just after midnight, then will have a bit of a wait at the airport before the imminent departure.

I said I'm not sad, but I am certainly emotional. The emotions are directly beneath the surface too so right there as soon as something pops up, the tears flow. Last night there was a gathering on a rooftop that included some great vegan food, a mini kirtan by Mark Robberds and a couple DJs playing some great trance sort of music and during one mantra Mark was leading us through it just dawned on me that this sort of thing won't be happening for at least another 8 months, while here it's happened almost every other week for 3 months.

That connection we all who come here to study with Sharath is something that just isn't readily available back home, that is what I'll miss most. That underlying knowing of what is going on. The people here who've been doing it for years get it because they've been through it at the beginners level and are still going through it just at a new level, and the beginners are going through it along with you and everyone else in between is going through it at their own level, wherever that may be.

My first trip was very deep and this one has proven to be even deeper, maybe because this time I got into the chanting so fully and that takes you to a new level, but also because of the asana practice and it's new lessons to teach me. I had a meeting with Sharath who is now wanting to focus more on his practice and in his own words "wants to work on the asanas as deeply as he can while he's still young enough to enjoy them."

I loved that. I enjoy my practice, but the intensity of it when you're in a group is not something I'm used to. I've practiced at home for so long that coming here just takes to such a new place for me, that maybe I am looking forward to going home and integrating all that I learned here this time. Practicing at my apartment this morning was very fulfilling and very nice, I had all the space I needed and got the heat built up I needed to get deep. It was almost better than doing it in that room.

But doing it in that room has its benefits too, you sweat like a mother fucker, more than you ever would otherwise unless you like in a tropical zone. But you also feel everyone else going through their trials and tribulations. My last Mysore practice on Friday, Mark and I were next to each other and he was practicing third series, at a posture called Ganda Berundhasana, a deep backbend where your weight is mostly on your upper chest, neck and chin as you bring your feet to your head and eventually to the floor beside your head and I was just standing up and dropping back. I was having a bit of trouble lifting up and out of my mid spine and stood there breathing before my next drop back trying to figure out how to do just that. He was having trouble with his posture came down onto his belly a few times before trying again (he may have cursed in there somewhere lol) and I just happened to see him and thought, well at least I'm not doing that! lol

And that helped me and I was able to get up and out of my mid spine to make my dropbacks more endurable. So, being in that room was helpful.

It's all good and as I took a walk around town this morning and went into the Ganesh temple to let go of my obstacles before my journey, I was looking around and enjoying seeing people I knew walk by and wave, or ride by on a scooter. Seeing locals I know or have seen daily for these past three months that I won't see again for the summer, and sitting and having a coconut at the stand I go to every day to have a fresh coconut from, I just knew that I'll be back. Sharath hinted at not opening next season, but I think he will, if a little later and I'll be here. I feel at home here more than almost anywhere. I've lived here for a little over three months this trip and almost 8 weeks last trip, so almost five months in the past year. This place has a feeling of home for me now.

Even before I came here I'd been wanting to come here for 14 years and looking at it in videos, in pictures and on Facebook for a long time, so felt like I knew it when I got here last time. It is a part of me.

I love this place, but more than that I love the people I've gotten to know over these two trips, they are friends, and friends I will have for the rest of my life.

I won't say good bye Mysore, but I will say so long, and see you again very soon!

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