Body Issues = Healing

So, I'm having stuff going on with my body. Last time I practiced I went through a few things but they resolved themselves. They weren't things anyone could find, but they were there none the less. And for the life of me I never though I'd be having to deal with it again, I know I stopped the practice of Ashtanga daily for almost 4 years, but I kept practicing it every so often and I was practicing Anusara and Kundalini the whole time, non-stop.

This alone tells me there is something to living the Ashtanga yoga practice as a lifestyle, all the things that go along with it, like the castor oil baths, the ayurvedic remedies, the diet, and of course the practice 5-6 days a week (5 days on weeks of the moon). I kind of poopooed that while I had moved away from it, but since beginning it a year ago, or restarted the 6 day a week practice and the whole lifestyle of it again, I've encountered the sacrum trouble I had back in 2002 and the elbow stuff I had after that in about 2005 or 6, and this time I'm having a new thing in the outer hamstring/it band area of my left leg.

Now granted, last time it took years, about 8 years to work through these issues and this time it has all happened in just over one year, so its like I'm on the fast track to healing lol. So I shouldn't be complaining, but right now I'm dealing with the it band thing and the opposite elbow thing at the same time, so it seems dramatic.

The first time around, Guruji told me my anger was in my knees and elbows (or yelbows as his English allowed it to be) so had me doing the castor oil bath to deal with pulling the heat out, I'm already doing that this time, so its been easier and I'm definitely less angry but am still having a bit of it, obviously.

People check me out, professionals, and they find nothing wrong with my body on the physical side. So that means its energetic and that I can deal with, move the energy through and it shifts you. The Kundalini training definitely qualifies me to move the energy, and that I shall do more often on my days off, maybe on my days on, so that I can get myself healed and can then be the teacher and inspiration I intend to be.

So, now that I mention that I'll speak to it. I've studied with many, many teachers, Ashtanga and otherwise. None of them are perfect, but most of them are in control of their emotions and their states of being in ways most Westerners would never understand, unless they've studied the arts of the East. So I equate that to the St. Louis yoga community and I see how many teachers here are so respected, but they are so fucked up, meaning they haven't used the teachings to heal themselves. Now, there are a few, maybe, and I intend to be one of them. I want people to take my classes and say "I really want some of whatever he's got." Not because I want the recognition, but because I want the people in this city to be healed. There is a lot of pain here and if people start to use the teachings fully, not just haphazardly and when they feel like it, but especially when they don't feel like it. It will heal them and once healed they would get it and then maybe help others to heal themselves as well.

I don't know, maybe its idealistic but who gives a fuck, I'll be an idealist. People need to know that we create our own reality, take responsibility for that and start controlling their states of mind so that they don't keep creating the shit that makes them miserable like they have been forever now, its time. This is a new time, the energy is moving fast and it is possible to help ourselves, so come on, lets do it!!!

I love you and I love myself, so this is how its going to be now, I'm holding myself responsible for my happiness and peace and you for yours, I expect you to hold yourselves in the same respect.