Sat Inder, yes both, not just Sat, and certainly not Keith . . .

What's in a name? I've had people ask me that, recently. Good friends. Its just a name, why does it matter? Ok, so why does it?

I legally changed my name in March of 2010. Thats why. The name I was given at birth did not resonate with me and felt empty and when I spent winter solstice in Florida with 3HO Sikhs and kundalini yogis calling me Sat Inder the whole 9 days, I felt something from the name. It made sense to me and I liked having that name, which means truth and divine consciousness, be associated with me and my path. I loved it really, so when I got home I changed my Facebook account to read Sat Inder Singh (Khalsa comes later, after one has taken amrit, which I did a few months later).

I have a lot of lazy people in my life, I say lazy, they really probably aren't, but they call me Sat. This infuriates me to no end, not sure why. But when I've introduced myself as Sat Inder, why would the person I've just, barely 5 minutes ago, call me Sat? My fucking name, first name mind you, is a two part name and its Sat Inder!!!

Now I can't disregard the many who do make the effort and say the full Sat Inder, so props to you, you know who you are.

Ok, now Keith has been coming up a lot. Is it because there are leftover things from that personality stuck in my vibration? Probably... but for gods sakes when I just got my most recent Netflix selection, it was addressed to Keith Mitchell, and they have never even known me as that, I registered with them as Sat Inder S. Khalsa! How in the hell did that happen?!?

Its something in me, that keeps drawing the Keith out of them, and you know something? When I hear that name I almost don't even recognize it enough to respond, isn't that weird? Or rather, isn't that cool? I've done so much work and cleaned out the scraps of the personality that did resonate with that name so much that I can't even hear it anymore.

Of course, my family still calls me that, I, to some degree anyway, think this is why I don't have any desire to be around them most of the time. I have no desire to be called that anymore. When I am over there and hear it the whole time from grandma, or mom, or whomever is saying it, I seem to fall into the old patterns of childhood and turn into this vicious, rotten little boy, even though I wasn't that then outwardly, only inwardly. And so, they are upset with me usually, I can't even hardly bring myself to go over there and visit, for the same reason. I feel like that little boy who no longer is this person in control of his emotions and actions, and start to embody it! Good lord, I thought one day I would get past that point. And maybe I have now, I haven't driven over there in over 6 months, maybe after another so many I'll be fine lol.

So, if you're reading this, know this was a release. I am venting in a way, so that my irritation with these things will not have a hold on me anymore. But also know that when I've introduced myself to you, as Sat Inder, yes a two part first name that will take the most miniscule amount of effort from you to say when talking to me (Sikhs go so far as to say Sat Inder Singh, to differentiate that I am a male, since all Sikh names are bisexual, and I'm not asking for that, so chill out), please call me Sat Inder, not just Sat. And if you ask wasn't I known as Keith Mitchell before and I say yes, please don't defer to calling me that, since it is not my name anymore, spiritually or legally. Law insisted that I even get my birth certificate amended, so yes, it is not my name anymore, legally!!!

And don't get upset when I correct you, and say can't I just say Sat? No, please? If I've went to the effort of asking you to say both names, yes both names as in Billy Bob, or Jim Bob, or some hillbilly name that you would in no way separate, please say both names. Whats the big deal?!? Is it because they are not "American" names that are familiar to you? If thats it and you're still my friend, hmmmm, I'll have to think about that one...

Thanks for reading, I appreciate all of you, your friendship in my real life, your following this whether we know each other or not, and who you are in that it shows me contrast so I can determine which direction I want my life to go. Sat Nam!!!