Today

So, the process of this teacher training is unfolding me and myself to myself in ways I never thought possible, ways that are not so lovey dovey and feeling good to me, but things that I've waited a few days on and have figured out they are for the best.

First off I had a little rendevous with someone who at one point last year I thought I was in love with, willingly on both parts and it was very nice, but very surprising. I don't want to go any further on that one! lol Then I went to the ashram early to spend extra time there, read from the Siri Guru Granth Sahib some and do some karma yoga, which I did and it felt great to be there for a longer time than normal and to enjoy the space and the company of a couple of great folks, who just happen to be Sikhs. I also stayed until Monday morning before leaving, but Sunday night I thought of my ex. My ex whom I lived with for almost 2 years from 1999 til 2001 and ever since we've had a friendship, relationship, even occasional romps in the hay. All without attachment. Then I quit hearing from him about last fall, just around the same time I was thinking of making my Sikh path known and official by growing out my hair and taking my spiritual name as my own, etc. About 2 months ago I got an email from him stating he was changing his email address and letting me know. So I responded and was surprised when he reacted so strongly to my name change and faith change and we had a few discussions about it, only by text, he wouldn't talk to me because it disturbed him so much. So anyway, I texted him Sunday night only to have him make some ignorant comments and we went back and forth to the point where I realized I needed to let him go. So I did and told him so and he just said enjoy your peaceful life.

So, it was hard having to deal with that, but I was able to use my sadhana the next morning to really work through the letting go process and felt better. Now today I went and say Life As We Know It and it made me think of him again, I guess because the two main characters relationship reminded me so much of his and mine. I was very sad after watching the movie and came home to do my Brain Doctor kriya, which did make me feel better, but I'm still feeling introspective about it.

I don't really have any wonderful insights or other things to share, just putting it down so its out of my head for now. I'm off to eat dinner, talk to you again soon. Sat Nam