The Death of P. Keith Mitchell

Not really, literally, but figuratively.

Today I changed over the last little bit of anything that had to do with that name. Last week after getting a court-certified copy of the name change order in the mail to send in to get a new birth cert (yes, they make you do that!) I realized I had two, so I went to the dmv and got my license and my title changed over to Sat Inder Singh Khalsa, both within 7 minutes, a new record for the dmv, or maybe a sign this is supposed to happen?!? So I went to the social security office and got my new card ordered, supposedly to take 2 weeks but I got it Tuesday of this week, 6 business days later (the title came on Friday of the SAME week I ordered it, signs again?). That part only took another 15 minutes. Two of the most difficult things to deal with both done in the matter of half and hour to 45 minutes including drive time, what?

So I got my bank account switched this week after receiving my ss card and just today got my cell phone switched over as well as my car insurance.

Now I should be excited yes? I am, but a weird feeling crept upon me after the bank account yesterday. Not sure how to describe it, just like a loss maybe, of a friend? Hmmm, not sure.

So last week a friend of ours was in town and staying with us and she asked first thing like it was expected, well, didn't you have a death ritual?!? I'm like no, not really into that. Then thoughts of many things flooded my head that night. In India when you take vows to lead a life a certain way and recieve a new name from your guru (in the Hindu tradition) you actually have your things and burn them as if you had died and the new being with the new name is sprouted forth like Athena and moves on ahead.

Not knowing if this is what Cheri meant it did occur to me, maybe I need that. It could be that the ritual would help with the feeling of loss, or rather help with the incorporation of the old me and the new me, or be symbolic of the transformation I feel I've gone through that made me chose to take the spiritual name as my legal name. Something like that anyway, maybe.

So for now I decided to write this little blog about it and see how I feel. I have changed my name legally and committed myself to this new lifestyle but have not taken the vows of a Khalsa yet, which I plan to do at summer solstice in New Mexico in June. Maybe after that I'll do the ceremony/ritual? Maybe not. I'll see how I feel then, maybe I'll do after I get off this computer, maybe not. What do you think?

Sat Nam, Sat Inder

Spring

Well, its here finally. Here in the Lou we're having our second day of full sunshine in a row and supposed to move up into the 70's today, so very nice!

Taking a walk in Forest Park yesterday, things were starting to bloom and I saw some buds on some of the trees. Its that time of renewal each year,a time that I usually feel very intensily energetically. As well, yesterday was a full moon and a very powerful one at that. At least to me and a few friends who had texted me asking if I felt it. And of course I did!

Tomorrow I embark on the next phase of a tranformational process I've been going thru for the past 6 months to a year. I go to a hearing to have my name changed legally. Many of you many only know me as Sat Inder, but many others know me as Keith Mitchell.

Having taken the past 10 years to build a name for myself as a yoga teacher in the St Louis area, under the name of Keith Mitchell, this change is a biggie and an interesting one for my students. As well as for my friends. Family is another matter. I'm sure I haven't approached it right with family, not necessarily telling them ahead of time, other tan the ones who are on facebook and noticed the name change back in December, and now seeing the photos of me in a turban and the quotes I post on there. But we'll see how it goes, I was not led to have conversations with them about it,maybe other than my mom and I will with her soon.

My father found out about the name change on facebook, asked me about it and I told him about it being my spiritual name given me through the Sikh path that I'm following now. Then he was being smart during a chat one day, acting as if he didn't know who it was that was talking to him and so I told him I'm changing it legally so he should get used to it, now he knows! Don't know whom else he told but again, we'll see. I did have some friends of mine who are parents tell me how they'd feel and it made me understand where he was coming from but it will not stop me from changing it. It is something I am doing for me, to reflect my path and to embrace who I am now and has nothing to do with anyone but me.

So I'm embracing the changes and don't have to expect everyone to be so open, but the becoming more open is what I'm working on now, accepting everyone and everything as an expression of the divine and a mirror of an aspect of my own consciousness, reflected back to me for me to learn from! Isn't that a bitch, but true, when you get irritated with someone about something they are doing, look toward yourself and see where you act that way yourself and see why your irritated, not because of them at all, but because you do the same thing!!!

I didn't say it was an easy path, but a fulfilling one for sure. And the growth I experience daily through these practices and my daily sadhana is just amazing, especially now that I can observe it happening, am aware of it.

Sat Nam all, much peace and love to you and yours. May he longtime sun shine upon you, all love surround you and the pure light within you guide your way on.

Sat Inder

Transformations cont . . .

So, I filed the paperwork with the circuit court to legally change my name! I began using it more and more after my amazing experience at Winter Solstice and when my grandfather died, for some reason, made the decision that I am going to become a Sikh. The kundalini yoga path is made for me and is working for me and inspires me so much, and has led me to where I am and in the direction I am going so much so that it only makes sense to keep flowing with this river, so I did it.

I am also planning to take amrit at the Summer Solstice celebration, which is the ceremony in which one takes the vows to live the life of a Sikh. Which in this country includes kundalini yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan.

I've also decided to take the month long teacher training immersion in New Mexico August 7th-September 2nd and have put it out there that I need the money and have already received $840 in donations towards it. So, everything is amazing and flowing downstream, to happiness! LOL

My life is so awesome that I just can't believe I'm the same person I was, even a few months ago. I feel like a new person, which I guess is why the name change is appropriate. And everyone is being so supportive, for the most part anyway, family hasn't been dealt with yet but we'll see how that goes.

The kundalini yoga club I hold at my place every Friday is just going so well too that it makes me want to teach this and make a living sharing this thing that has began and helped facilitate this transformation. Just amazing. I know, I know, I've said that thirty times already LOL but thats how I feel right now.

So just an update, hope anyone who may read this is realizing that all that stuff is just contrast, meant to bring you to greater wanting of things that are amazing as well, and not drawing your attention to the lack of those things, but following the vane of feeling the abundance of the things you are desiring and then allowing them to enter into your life, just as I am!

I wish blessings, love and peace to you and yours and those you don't even know but may bump into during your day. Sat Nam, Sat Inder

Dear Pop (Grandpa),

I love you and just wanted to put it in writing. I know you know how I feel now that you've left your body and are soaring in spirit. You did the very best with the tools and influences you were given and I will miss you. "The women in our family," as was our private joke so often (because they're such big worry worts) will miss you being here with them in your physical body much more than I, for I know that there is so much more to you. The full expression of your spirit is so much larger than the very little bit of it that squeezed into that body to keep it animated, and that I will always have contact with and will talk to and embrace on those times I do miss your physical presence. May you poke me here and there with little insights or reminders when I am less than noble in my behaviour and may the peace you feel now make all that struggle at the last part of your life worth it. How blessed am I and my sister and her two kids and Connie's kids for having even known you! Most people don't have an opportunity to know and care for their grandparents. How blessed am I to have been influenced by you, who always had such a strong love and sense of family and may I learn from that as I embark on my life path and grow with my new spiritual beliefs along with the family, including them, not excluding them as I often have.

Thanks. You were one great man and I shall love you always. Sat Nam!!!

New Year

Hmmm, been a long time since I posted. Life has been changing and growing, like it always is, but I'm actually observing it happening these days. Rather than letting it happen and catching it a bit late lol!

In December I went to Lake Wales, Florida, to attend the Winter Solstice celebration put on by the 3HO organization, or the kundalini yoga people if you'd rather. I actually did a service scholarship so for a reduced fee I got to attend things as well as work my ass off to pay for the part I did not do! lol

And yes, lots of work it was. Inner and outer. I carried luggage a lot, from peoples cars to their cabins or tenting area and then in reverse. Which is all waaay more physical work than I do normally at home, anyone who knows me knows this to be true! So that in an of itself was a challenge. I also got to bond with some of the best people I've met in years, on said luggage crew, but also at the camp with those not on the luggage crew during meals, during early morning sadhana (and early is the truth, 3:45am, including chanting, a kundalini yoga set, another hour of singing/chanting a specific set of mantras in a specific order and then visiting the gurdwara to finish up), during white tantric yoga and many other activities.

The crux of the event is the 3 days of white tantric yoga. Previously I had only done one full day of the event in Chicago last April and one full day in Knoxville in October, both of which I had met people who were here for the the solstice event as well. 3 days is intense, to say the least, but is so much more than the one day in a myriad of ways. Each day was a different program, mostly sitting exercises, for 62 minutes or 31 minutes, one included a two hour nap, timed and a certain song played for it and the biggie; a 3 hour blind walk. Google it, I don't have the time or energy to explain it, just thinking about it is wearing me out! Ha!

All of this work affects you energetically and internally of course, and unfolds things within you over a 40 day period. I have quit drinking and eating most meats, and have been eating healthier and keeping up with a strong early morning sadhana of my own and hatha yoga and kundalini yoga almost daily, so that allows the energy movement to be freer and cleanse you of things no longer needed, subconsciously, much more easily. The time in April I still drank a bit and so wasn't as clean and had some major emotional goings on, to say the least. But this unfolding is interesting in that its intense but more smooth.

I feel like I'm completely changing and growing into a new person. My thoughts are moving in ways they never have before. They are more open, less judgmental and inclusive of things I never considered options before. I will be more specific on that once the unfolding slows down and I figure out exactly where I'm going in life. The thought of moving has always been there, but now I feel as if I'm finally ready. The idea of loving has always been there, but now I'm open to it and finding it around every corner from every person I encounter, just open hearted love and peace when met eye to eye. I feel more and more that I must share all this with others, and so exude the love and peace while I teach my hatha classes and am including some more of the kundalini type meditations to build the energy individually for my current students. I want them all to be happy and peaceful. I want to be more in touch with family and friends than ever before and just love them all unconditionally.

There is so much more swirling around in there, all good stuff, that I want to share but need more time to allow them to flow thru me first and figure some things out.

This year is amazing already, but is only going to get more amazing as it opens up and becomes more energized and free flowing and unlocks us more and more toward the Aquarian age. We are already feeling the intensity of the energy of that age unfolding all around us, within us, and hopefully I/we can all help one another as it builds more and more and grows us into who we really are---little balls of light wrapped up tight in these flesh packages. Little bits of divine energy! Look into peoples eyes, you will see it there, or not, that fire, those burning white irises, the color lightening, the intensity of their gaze.

Take a look at this little window a great friend of mine sent me on facebook, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3zJm98UXzQ , good stuff.

Think about it. But not too much, more importantly, feel it. Feel yourself and let those feeling unfold you into who you really are. Are you with me?!?

Sat Nam, Sat Inder Singh

What is Yoga?!?

All this talk about the taxing of yoga classes in the state of Missouri has me thinking, harder than ever, what does yoga mean to me? According to state officials it is an entertainment or exercise and should be taxed, the same idea was repealed in Massachusetts and Washington state. How does one prove it to them that is it more a spiritual discipline than anything?

Well, for one, and yes I'm just going to say it. I really think I hate yoga! It is my lifestyle by choice yes, but it is hard because you have to be in such a state of concentration while doing it, kundalini or hatha either one, otherwise you can hurt yourself and not gain the benefits of the practice. The concentration is the key, and once you can concentrate hard enough you can even disengage your brain, let it do that for you (staying one pointed) and talk or enjoy yourself with your mind. Trust me though it takes years to get to that point. Trust me also, it shakes you up on a physical level so hard that its touching you on a cellular level and at the cellular level is where your life starts to change.

And who wouldn't agree, its the hardest thing on the planet to be present during your whole life. Its hard and takes a lot out of you mentally, which may be the point so you're not living in your head or mind as it were, but living in your life. Paying attention while its going on around you, being with whomever you are with, teaching in the moment, making strong decisions easily because you're there and know what needs to be done. AND once you start down the path, you can't backup! Once you start waking up, even just 9/10ths of an eye open, you can't close them again!

You have no choice from here on out to be present. I know people who've tried to go back and they're miserable, because they know they're not doing what they should be doing, they KNOW is the point. Before you peek out from under that one eyelid you don't know, and therefor are full of avidya (ignorance), not in a conscious way but in a way that you don't even realize you don't know anything and are just living the illusory veil that has been spread over you as the tool to get you begin the path toward self-realization.

Sure, asana, (yogic postures) are just a tool. They are meant to keep the body healthy, the energy channels, muscles and joints open, so that you can sit, be happy and know that you are a divine being. So that you can feel said divinity illuminating you from within and spread it like a seed being planted across the microcosm you live in so that a whole forest of open-mindedness, peace, love and realization happens all around you! So once you reach that state of connection, you may no longer need that tool. I say that I used to practice 2-3 hours a day 6-7 days a week and now I practice kundalini almost daily, to stay feeling light and connected and my body doesn't need the strong asana practice as much, so maybe 2-3 days a week and I anticipate I may not need it that much in the future. I may not need any practices at all once my energy channels are fully open and my body is fully open and my mind is fully and completely open to the divine, or God, or whatever it is you'd like to call it. If you're mind is there, then your body will be there right? And eventually not even the body anymore, just the spirit.

But we still live in a solid world, for now, so these practices can help us to get lighter, to realize our inner potential, to realize our inner divinity if you like. But trust me again when I say, they are the hardest things I've done with myself, physically and mentally, and therefor cannot be considered an entertainment. Yes my muscles and glandular systems do stay in amazing shape do to the physical practices that I enter into most days, but that is a side effect and not the initial focus of these things.

And while I said earlier, I hate yoga, that was just for dramatic effect. I do have trouble with it some days, as most people do, because some days you just want to remain asleep, not be awakened. But most days, I love it, and the fact that it has made me smarter, brighter, happier, more peaceful inside, as well as out, more in touch with myself, sexier, more loving, a better teacher ... I could go on and on, but won't.

Its a hard discipline, but has changed my life and those whom have also chosen it as a path around me, for the better and keeps helping us in our evolutions, making us stronger and more full of resolve to be who we are and be in union with our divine, connected to our source, and I'm good with that.

Come to a class and check it out if you haven't already, if you hate it, fine, you won't start the wake up process and perhaps aren't ready to, but maybe, just maybe you'll get the bug too. The wake up bug, and its bite doesn't hurt so bad, just a little ...

Companionship

A friend of mine used this word with me yesterday, thanking me by text for companionship of the day, even though we'd been in the same place for almost 8 hours but had spent almost all of the time separated. So I was surprised at the use of that word in particular.

Is companionship just the fact that you both knew you both were there or would companionship have been the actually having sat together through each little performance (it was a musically oriented day) and being able to share the experience with the person rather than alone and meeting up at the end? Obviously I feel one way and he the other, so that brings it down to a fact of perspective right?

So isn't everything about perspective? You and I go and have one experience, both in the same place at the same time, say watching the same play and both have completely different stories about what happened in the play and it made both of us feel completely different. And life is filled with these little situations where we all think everything is completely opposite of what someone else who was thought it was. Which is right? Why does one have to be right and one not? If you questioned everyone who had watched the play perhaps you'd get a different response from each and every one of them, so then how would you determine who's right? You wouldn't, you'd just have to agree to disagree and know that everyone has their own truth.

I do know why my idea of companionship would have ideally been the two of us, both sitting together, discussing each performance as it happened, enjoying the situation (or not as it may have been) and milling about together, eating together and leaving and heading home together.

Part of it is that its fall and I'm in the mood for a snuggling partner and to settle in for winter with someone to hibernate with so as to keep one another warm. The other part is that I'm ready for a companion in life. Ready to share everything with someone, waking up, morning yoga practice, breakfast and shower after and then dinner in the evening, if not lunch in between. Talking about everything that pops into our heads. Listening to music together, perhaps even singing and playing music together. Taking long walks in the fall coolness. God, I could go on forever (I'm feeling a bit romantic today!). But you get the picture right?

So, I'm also a yogi, so am practiced at being resolute within myself, whether the above scenario is in play or not. So I am happy and enjoying life and feel great. Funny thing is that those things make you want to share your life with someone even more! You feel so goddamn good that you want someone else to be there who'll benefit from that, and maybe you'll inspire them to feel good too, or vice versa. Share in the feeling good. So while I'm okay being where I am in life, I am also still in want of more.

Now, I have great friends to spend time with, I have a great family to do the same with but the type of intimacy I speak of now is different and you all know what I'm saying, so I won't patronize you by describing it any more fully than I already have.

I'm just putting it out in the universe that its time. Studying Abraham-Hicks teachings on the law of attraction, its all about putting it out there and letting go of the results and keeping your vibration in line with the things you want even though you don't have them and they will come to you. This is true I know, I have proven it time and again to myself and when I'm not lined up vibrationally it doesn't come and I feel frustrated because I can feel it there waiting for me and not coming.

So now, I'm putting it out there fully and completely and am letting go of the outcome. I am making peace with where I am, or have already made peace with it, but am now letting go of it and letting the universe take care of it. Done!

(wow, that started in one vain and completely went another way I had not anticipated)