Day off

I've never been so thankful for a day off in my life, mostly because my back is having some weird issues, most of which I believe is energetic (and also happened on my last trip), just working through the opening of the nadis, but someone else mentioned he believes its my fascia all twisted up. Either way, I was very happy this morning to sleep in and have no set schedule for the day. My day off of work at home doesn't typically coincide with my day off from my yoga practice, so often on the day I'm not practicing I'm still teaching at the park and a private lesson or two, or a workshop, so it's nice here to have a full day off where I only need do what I choose to do.

Typical day off for an Ashtangi means a castor oil bath, rubbing the body down with castor oil, allowing it to soak in and relax the muscles, pull "heat" out of the body (and if you're a pitta dosha this is a complete must, and yes, it does work) and to just make you feel a little high lol, much more relaxed than normal and very content. So that's what I did after some pranayama and chanting to begin with.

Then I walked up to Khushi for lunch where I thought I'd hang out and read for a bit, but it wasn't the place for me this morning, so back home I am to write this before settling in to read and head back out a bit later for lunch at Anima Madhva Bhavan, my favorite place to eat here. On the way home I stopped at the Green House, a house a few up from the shala and from Sharath's new home, owned by Pavithra, a lovely Jain man who practices with us and knows a lot about Ayurvedic health and has the best incense and statues and malas and such.

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With the back issues for the past two days my practice was hard, moreso during the led class yesterday than the day before where I was able to go at my own pace and stretch it out slowly. Led is a much faster pace than it is allowing right now though, and Sharath even helped me a couple times when he realized that I was struggling. But as I said earlier, I believe its more energetic than anything. In my Sanskrit level 2 class Lakshmish is also doing half the class on translating the Hatha Yoga Pradapika and the first few sentences he talked a lot about the opening of the energy channels on either side or in the middle of the base of the spine, exactly where my trouble is and it just resonated, so I'm sticking with that story. My friend who diagnosed it as my fascia wants to work on it, and I will let him, I'm not about it being a physical thing as well, but then again I don't believe they are mutually exclusive, energy forms matter, matter is just molecules moving at a slower rate of vibration...

Speaking of vibration, there was a lovely kirtan at the Blue House last night, another place up the road from the shala owned an ex-pat British (I believe) lady who hosts such things and does massage trainings and has philosophy talks and such. My friend hadn't been to one before and said that some resonated with her and some didn't, so I told her the different words in Sanskrit hold different vibrations (the lady who led the kirtan talked a bit about it as well, only called them frequencies) and the ones closest to where you are vibrating at the time always are the ones you're drawn to join in on.

Funny thing how you come here and you start to think about the different gods and their meanings, when traditionally you're not a Hindu. But I think the idea of the gods goes much beyond Hinduism. To me each god represents a different aspect of ourselves. Shiva (my personal favorite) is the destroyer, destroying the things no longer serving you so as to make space for new things to come in. Lakshmi, of abundance and prosperity, not just financially but all things. I was going to list some more, but there are so many and each has so many aspects within the their main purpose, so I'll leave it at that and just say that to me they are all aspects of our inner being, or even our mind, that we can access and use to not allow us to be stuck in one place without growth or movement of energy. And sometimes if that access is hard to come by maybe chanting the names that brings up the energy you need is the best way to do it!

I may write more later, but it is my day off and there's a lot going on in there (my mind) it just all hasn't formulated into cohesive sentences just yet, so off to read and relax for a while before eventually heading out to have a coconut and then to my lunch with a friend and who knows what else the day will bring.

Love you, take care!

Time...

Time here in Gokulam seems to move very slowly, but then you look for the date and find that it's been two weeks yesterday that you arrived here! lol, what a weird feeling. This morning on the steps of the shala waiting to go into the lobby to wait to practice, less lot's of waiting (especially this morning where I personally waited over an hour and usually am in the door 45 minutes before my actual start time), we had to pull out a phone to figure out the actual date today and then when we got it, the 13th(!), I thought damn, is it really two weeks already?!? And yes, it is.

Each day your practice is different, that's a truth whether I'm here or at home, but this week has shown me that I'm more energetic here and probably because of the sheer amount of energy in that room from people having been practicing since 4:15am and doing it since the shala opened over a decade ago. So, I thought I was riding nice and high on that energy and then today happens.

Now today wasn't a bad practice, but it was slow and felt like drudging through mud. If the factor of the energy in the room were to be removed I would most likely have quit practicing soon after starting or it would've taken me 3 hours. But my backbending at the end was still pretty good and I feel good, other than today is the first time I'm just low in energy after practicing.

Sharath is pleased with my progress in the standing up and dropping back, he remembers that he gave me that as my homework when I was here earlier this year and so has been watching me, and most days is the one to help me with the assisted backbends you do here after your own standing up and dropping back. Now the problem is that he's taken an interest in my bind in supta kurmasana again, not sure why, but yesterday that was something he brought up. In the led class he lets me get away with using a towel to hold the bind, because it moves so quickly but in Mysore class he hasn't seen that I can hold it once I'm assisted to the bind, which I have been. He told me yesterday that today he would help me so he could see it, so today when I was there I looked for him but he'd gone outside, so I let one of the assistants help me. And I'll be damned, as soon as I was done and heading to the changing room he said, you didn't call me for supta today, I said you were outside, oh sorry he says, you bind? Yes I did, you held it, yes I did. Okay, we'll see tomorrow.

It's funny to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm here to work with him as my teacher and I'm very glad he has an interest in my practice, but damn! lol.

I'm here for a long time this time and have plenty to work on. Once he's satisfied with my supta bind and my "catching" gets really close or to touch (I almost touched today, btw catching means you are assisted in bending over backwards and walking your hands in until you can touch or "catch" your ankles, it actually feels good after you're done with it) he'll start me on intermediate, which sounds great and when I practiced before from 2000-2008 I had went up to about a third or more of the third series, the intermediate series was my favorite. You always feel light, calm and energized both, after its complete each morning. But pasasana, that first frakking posture, is a bitch, especially for those who's body just hates to twist, like mine. But when he gives it to me I'll diligently work on it as I'm doing all the other things he's given me to work on.

I have to say I love it here. I love the little apartment I'm in, it's spacious but not too big and gets a good breeze. I love the weather this time, unlike last it was so hot, this time its very moderate and lovely at night. The people are great, most remember me this time from last and the students are great too, many are here from my last trip so it's been nice to catch up and rekindle friendships.

Right now I can say I could stay here for a long time, but I'm sure that will change soon enough, or maybe not, who knows. I'm taking it one minute at a time and this time the minutes seems to be sludging by, not that I'm complaining because in a few minutes another week will have gone by! And I'm no hurry to head back to the Midwest of the US during the middle of winter, what on earth was I thinking going back in February! lol. Methinks I wasn't thinking at all about anything except being in India...

"It's like wrestling a bear!"

With my impending second trip to Mysore coming up in just three weeks, lots of memories from the last trip are flooding over me. Some intentional to make sure I remember my way around Gokulam, some just popping up as I move through my practice in the mornings.

One that I woke up with this morning is what I titled this post as, and the story goes...

Sharath had decided he was tired of me not being able to "get" supta kurmasana and so he told me so and said that he was going to help me personally from then on out until I got it, so it had been about a week and a half maybe of him helping me or watching his assistants help me and this particular day as he called "one more!" and I walked in and he showed me where to put my mat down, he said to me to wait for him when I got to that point, so I get to that point and move my way to the physical place I would wait for him, when I felt some gentle hands moving my arms into position to bind with one another, then moving my legs to cross behind my head and when my legs got there my hands unbound, as per usual. Then I heard him "no, no, get away, let me..." I had thought it was him but it had been his assistant Ganapati (a young blonde fellow from California who'd become Brahmin and moved to the area). So he started getting my hands there and then, then my feet, then my hands would unbind, then he would reattach them, back and forth. FInally he picked up my feet for me to lift and jump back and I did, this time was the first time I could go right into updog without strain in my lower back after this posture, so I knew it was soon coming. But as I inhaled into updog he was standing there looking down at me, hands on his hips (like a disapproving grandma) and said "It's like wrestling a bear!" Then promptly, he laughed, I laughed, Ganapati laughed and few around me laughed that had heard or seen the whole exchange. It lightened the mood and helped me release some shit. As I was leaving the shala and did my anjali mudra and bowed slightly to him as I walked by, he said "tomorrow!" And so it went, the next day was the day he got me into the posture, was able to help me stay in it and he said "PASS! Go on and do garbha pindasana." I was so excited to have jumped that hurdle, you can't imagine, I'd been stuck there for 3 weeks.

This brings up many other stories of my being there, not because I'm trying to relive that experience, that will be impossible as each experience there is completely different especially since I'm staying longer this time, but because they are good memories, very good.

I met a lot of wonderful people who I am still in contact with and have become better friends with. I think the friendships forged there are so special because the experience is so intense. You are there solely for the purpose of deepening your yoga practice, for no other reason, so you do and you connect with others who are doing so as well.

One other memory just popped up, I'll share it. I had just recently been told to go ahead and do the whole series, this was just a couple days after "getting" supta kurmasana and then he tells me I have to start doing the deep backbending. Now, for most of you who take my led classes you know that after the series we do three backbends, right? Well, in a Mysore setting, as a few of my Mysore students will tell you, after you've completed primary series you do those three backbends, then you work on standing up from them, then dropping back, standing up, dropping back and standing up, then three assisted half dropbacks and an attempt at grabbing your ankles (yes, in a backbend lol). This is what I was supposed to start. So he had his assistant Nnadi help me with it and it was fine, I couldn't stand up at all and that was fine, he helped me the whole way through. So I discovered it was terribly intense on the nervous system, especially that it was my first time, and when I went home I showered and then just lie there on the bed for a couple hours, then it dissipated and I went about my business. So the next morning I did my backbending then tried to stand up, couldn't, so rolled over and got up then did a drop back on my own, decided myself that this was just fine and a great attempt especially on only my second time doing this, so did my forward bend, rolled up my mat and went to the locker room to do finishing. As I'm creeping (yes, I knew I was trying to get out of something) away Sharath saw me and yelled "YOU! I told you to wait for backbending, you go back" and I was like "I know, I thought it was fine..." all mousy like and he let me go but said I had to wait from now on. Then I'm out after class, and if you've been there you know we all devour coconuts after class to replenish our electrolytes and get rehydrated, and we chat and we hang out for a while sometimes. That day I was sitting by myself and overheard some people next to me talking about "who did he yell at?" and so on, and I reluctantly held up my hand, "it was me..." LOL, this stuff is great, isn't it?

I am so excited to go back and create more experiences and get deeper into my practice and be able to share that knowledge with you when I come back!

This crazy quote from an obscure book

This quote embodies to me what the Ashtanga practice is about, getting wet, almost drowning. Read and let me know what you think...

"In true sadhana, there's a beginning, a long middle and an end. we all start at the beginning and some may reach the end. but the middle is the tricky part because it has so many blind spots. often times practitioners are believing they are farther along than they think, when in fact they have barely taken a step into the internal world, the real world..... but the external false world, where sheeple nourish our egos, and we nourish our own, using our public image and popularity to fool ourselves and others is not even the first step.its like one just dipped their toe in the ocean but because they are wearing designer swimming trunks and can appear graceful with a swimmers physique, the naive followers and sycophants believe they are swimmers.... ....you got to get wet, dive deep down maybe lose your trunks and then be prepared to drown before you can really swim. dont just sunbathe in samsara - be like a dolphin"

(exerpt from "Dolphins Are One Of My Power Animals" by Dr. Kether Lazarus II)

Another New Moon is upon us...

I've been busy lately and not taking time to reflect and clear up my intentions, so when a friend mentioned my new moon intention to me yesterday it reminded me, oh, get on that.

Sometimes I feel like I have so much ritual I follow already that one more thing will make me burst, but really, I've got plenty of space for it. I think I get lazy when I'm home because I'm in such a routine that I don't even have to think about it. This is part of why I'm moving.

Yes, I'm going back to India to study with Sharath again, leaving October 27th and won't be back until February, so I'm letting my apartment go and have a friend who is letting me store stuff in his basement and letting me set up a bedroom down there as well. It's actually a super cozy basement and I'm looking forward to it, I'm going to start moving boxes today so it can be a slow process, not a rush around and do it in two days process.

I'm excited for this trip very much and intend for it to be as transformational as the last one, and even more so. With it being longer I'm going to do Thai massage over there to make money to live off of but because of the length I'll have time to dig in deeper and go to another level with my practice, but also to study with my Sanskrit teacher and my chanting teacher more, both of which I'm looking forward to as much as the asana practice.

I'm embracing all the things that come up and not seeing them as obstacles, but as contrast to help me hone my intention and make it more succinct so that I don't get a lot of extra stuff, but that I get a lot of what I'm looking for. It has been working here at home, so I'm sure it will work over there.

Yes, after 13 years of teaching Ashtanga Yoga a community who loves it is finally building here and it's a great thing. There are students who are excited to practice, who ask questions, who really want to go there and transform themselves and that is what a teacher teaches for. I couldn't be happier with my teaching experience these days. Other than maybe wishing I had a full Mysore program going, that is something I really want, but it hasn't been something that's worked out just yet.

So when I get back I'm going to contemplate where and how to implement one in the mornings with a few evenings offered so that folks who just can't do mornings can come as well. Then I'll have to rededicate myself to my practice because I'll have to get up early, early to practice before I teach! lol, I can do it, I know I can! lol

When I think of my intention for this next period of time it is to embrace all and let it show you the way, to expect the universe to support my intention with financial abundance and really, abundance in all it's forms. To be focused and clear and allow the things that are working for me to keep honing my skills and get me to the goal of creating this amazing life that I want. Really, to keep creating an amazing life because already is pretty awesome!

Abraham

So, I went to Chicago with a friend to see Esther Hicks channel Abraham this past weekend. It was my third time seeing this phenomenon but I will say it was the best.

The best why? Because it was everything I needed to hear about my self, my life and what to do to move forward in it and with others.

I've realized after my India trip that Ashtanga Yoga is my path, but I must also realize that these teachings on the Law of Attraction are just as much my path. That just means I'll be tapping into Source more often to get a read on how to move forward in each step of my life. I don't have to hear Esther speak Abraham's words, because I have the ability to listen to my instincts and emotions in the way they have taught me to and that is listening to Source, just as much as hearing the words come out of Esther's mouth.

This next trip to India will be amazing because I'm basing it on what my inner being tells me every step of the way and from the day forward, to the best of my ability, I'm going to be moving forward from this same place in all of my life.

It's time I grow up and take responsibility for my decisions and how my life unfolds, I know how this stuff works and the Ashtanga has given me the strong awareness that can keep me tapped into how I'm feeling enough for me to be guided into bigger and better things, more and more and more and draw the things to me that I want in life. Abundance in every area; money, love, friendships, even in my yoga practice!

So now, here I am and you need to start expecting amazing things from me and if they don't start manifesting come up and ask me why they aren't, hold me to it!

New Moon

This quote from Kino MacGregor popped up in my feed today:

"The new moon is a time of reflection, a time to take stock of all that you have done in the last month and plant the seeds of new intentions going forward. It's a time to forgive yourself and others so that you start fresh. The new moon is about rebirth, so take a step down the spiritual journey of yoga, meditate, turn your attention inwards and direct your life down the road of true awakening. My new moon intention is to release my need to control so that I may be open to receiving things bigger and grander than I can control or imagine."

I believe that we see things that are resonating where we are vibrating at that time, same with people we bump into, same with conversations we have (and I've had a couple today that show me I'm sliding backwards a bit) and situations that arise. Basically, everything in our day is there mirroring back to us where we are. Which can be a good thing, if we're in a good place, or a bad thing if we're in a bad place, OR it could show us where we are and if we're not in a place we really want to be and are conscious enough to catch it we can possibly turn that around more quickly. Which is what I would like to think I'm doing today lol.

But really, I think of myself as a conscious person, but mostly I'm still not as conscious as I'd like to think I am. Or rather, I'm not deliberately taking the time to create my life in the way I would like, or as Abraham would say Pre-paving. Her quote brought that home for me.

When I was younger I did this very much more than I do now. I followed the moon cycles and felt it had great importance in my life, and I still feel the moon cycles but am not using them as wisely as I'd like to, so I'm creating the intention that I will start doing this today, so will you join me?