White tantric yoga

I've just come back from Chicago, having done my 10th white tantric yoga day. This one was different because it was part of the completion of my kundalini yoga teacher training, and many of my fellow trainees, whom I've grown very close to, were there as well.

Ramgeet Kaur and her husband Adam is who I rode up there and home with, and we went early and had the whole day Friday to tool around town. What a lovely day! We even got full sunshine, which was not predicted. And she had never been there before, so it was a treat to see her excitement at so many of the things of the "big city" lol. She and her husband share a unique perspective of life and the world that I appreciated so much getting an insight into. Two of the most lovely people.

The tantric itself was the most subtle one I've been to, and the most powerful. I feel it so strongly that I almost can't explain it to others, but also I think the circumstances of the people who were there with me added to it. Also, doing all the work I've done during the training and since and having taken amrit at summer solstice and this being my first tantric since then, probably added to it as well.

I met some people I've only met online on Facebook, in person finally, I saw many old friends in the Dharma, even made some new friends that I will for sure keep in touch with.

A large part of the magic of the weekend is the fact that I stayed with Dukh Niwaran and her partner, two of the loveliest of people and my friend Dharamjodh stayed there as well and we got to connect before he moves to Holland to be with his husband again. It was a great time of conversation and connection and the four of us doing sadhana together, that I just can't put into words. It was magic and I love Chicago! Dukh Niwaran posed the need for me to move there, which was something I really wanted in my early twenties, for completely different reasons (great gay scene and partying prospects! lol). Maybe its now in the running, hmmmmm....

There is so much change going on in me and in my life that I don't want to say I'm going here, I just want the universe to show me, guide me where to move and feel it in my heart, then go there. Its exciting this change, this shift. I'm loving it and find the prospect a grand adventure!

Lets see where this takes me, this new perspective . . .

Spring 2011

So, I haven't written in a while. I've been violently ill this week, for many different reasons, not that I really want to get into it, but I may later on down the line.

Tomorrow I go to Kansas City for the last weekend of my kundalinig yoga teacher training. The level 1 part of the program anyway. It will be bittersweet since we've all become so close to one another, or most of us anyway but I know we'll all stay in touch and keep working with one another on many projects and such, a couple are even going to summer solstice and on the same missal as I am. And we all, or most of us anyway, are going to Chicago on April 30th for the white tantric yoga up there, which will complete my certification.

I have decided to start a two weekend level 2 course, Authentic Relationships. The following weekend lol, I know, but its an opportunity and the second weekend isn't until the middle of May, so it will be good I think and relationships is something I can use input on, relating at anothers level, not just mine, specifically. All good, I'm excited.

I just yesterday was able to eat food again, or more food than just a couple spoonfuls of rice, rough week, and today when dinnertime came around I went to Local Harvest, which for some reason hasn't even crossed my mind since last fall! A great menu tonight and on the way home I drove through Tower Grove Park, which neighbors it, to see everything in bloom. Its lovely and as I enter the park and see it all, it stirs up that energy that one feels around their sexual organs when they're horny, I was like why, what, IDK?!?

But it dawned on me completely, finally, the second chakra energy, the energy of our sex organs, the energy of creativity, the ... aha! Duh, dumbass. You've been studying this shit for years and are just now putting it together?!? Good lord. Well, I know, but yes I am. I always thought that driving in parks made me horny because I love nature, it turns me on, but no it just stimulates the same energy of creativity in my that being arouses sexually does. Now I know, years of gay men cruising and having sex in parks has not been handed down to me orientationally lol, its just that maybe they experienced the same thing, years ago were in hiding, and being aroused took care of it in the park where others were. But not a necessary thing.

Possibly I feel it so intensely because I have creativity thats not being expressed, so the energy isn't flowing as fully as it could. Of course, since I do sat kriya daily now it does flow much more than it did. I also am getting larger kundalini yoga classes than before and am getting the opportunity to be more creative with them, and am, so its being expressed lately.

Odd that today the realization comes to me. Not odd I guess. Its the year that the Age of Aquarius comes fully into fruition, finally. The year of change and shifting of everything as we know it, notice the movements in the earths tectonic plates, the ocean, the ice melting, the winter we had this year which I haven't seen one like since I was a teenager, things like that. Things also like peoples attitudes, the amount of love you feel from some, and the amount of dislike from others. The amount of interest in things esoteric, or mystical is bigger than ever before. Many things are shifting and changing, lots of souls leaving their bodies, bodies which most likely aren't prepared for the energy of this time and need to leave.

Part of the reason I am so strong on kundalini yoga, it helps strengthen the nervous system, the radiance, the aura, everything angelic about a human in this time where we need to balance our humanity and higher self more than ever, because the gates are open, we are receiving and now you see those who are not able to receive much more clearly, the aggitation, the caffeine intake, the frustration, the phone usage while driving and then irritation at others silly driving, stuff like that, you know what I mean?

Oh well, its just nice to get a correllation between things the way I did this evening. It happens, but right now, in this time of required attention and the work I've done over the past 6 months within myself through this training and the connections I've made around it and through it and because of it are all coming to fruition in my consciousness, I'm seeing the results. I love that!

Sat nam

Well, here I sit, finally a little time to do so, very nice. I'm teaching more kundalini yoga these days, and loving it. Even finding it super fulfilling even when I have only a couple students, because afterwards you see it in their eyes and thats why you do it!

I always worried about numbers, numbers, numbers and thats not something that concerns me, and a very wise friend told me yesterday. Do what you love and that part will take care of itself. So, how does a well established hatha yoga teacher turn around and change into a kundalini teacher?!? I guess one class at a time. Which I'm doing, slowly. There are some studios its just not taking off at and thats ok, I will focus on the ones that it does work at.

I also am almost done with my training and will be certified by the end of April. Very nice, I told myself at that time I would through it out to the universe to tell me where I am to move. Yes, I need to move, I think its time. I have an option to move to Kansas City and help them run the Sikh Dharma/Kundalini Yoga ashram, but not sure if thats the right move, but it could be a first step! I also just fielded an offer to move to Japan to teach Kundalini Yoga and Hatha Yoga and do thai massage at a retreat center, hmmm. That sounds awesome but not sure if I want to go that far to start off with! lol

I assume the skies the limit. I can go anywhere I want really, can't I? Who can stop me? I know people who travel all over the world penniless, why can I not do that? Well, I intend to do it, just not penniless! lol

I also intend a great many other things, but won't be sharing them all here and now. Summer solstice being one of them. I missed winter solstice and am by no means missing summer, even though the high desert is not my favorite place to be, but oh well. I also need to go because there's an Ecuadorian Sikh who will be coming so we can meet. He has a crush on me! lol, which is cool, we will see how that goes as well.

Ok, change my whole life, including the style of yoga I teach, possibly move, maybe get into a relationship . . . etc. What an awesome fucking year!!! lol

Since last fall this teacher training has change me internally and brought up so much stuff for me to look at about myself, that it only makes sense that everything external should follow. So I'm going to embrace it, let it flow, let everything be and grow with it!

Love to all, light to all, peace to all. Sat Nam

Lots . . .

Well, thought I had lots to say. Sat down all inspired, now . . .

I got nothin!

Have a great week

Teacher Training

This past weekend was another training weekend, only 4 more left and a white tantric to attend in Chicago and I'll be a certified kundalini yoga teacher!

I've broken through a block of some sort. I was in dire straits financially, still am not completely in the red yet but I'm feeling better. I wasn't even going to be able to make it to the weekend in Kansas City due to being so low in funds. My friend whom is taking the course as well bought me a train ticket and so I rode with her there, on the train. I love having my car, so it was a lesson in detachment, and I felt good about it all weekend and appreciative of her for helping me out when I needed it.

We learned the gong this weekend. I think I was overstimulated for sure on Saturday from everyone playing it all at once and then Sunday I woke up and felt clear and passionate about this work again, wanting a gong as well, of course, but about the yoga. After having had a month off of training (we initially were going every other weekend and then had a wee break during the holidays and heaviest winter month) I didn't want to go back and was irritated that I had to. I was tired of doing all this inner work and blah, blah, blah...etc. So now I see more clearly and feel more acutely the energetics of what we're working at after this weekend and I'm even enjoying the homework, which consists of banging my elbows into my own ribcage, to stimulate the 7th rib which encases a meridian that contacts the creativity of life, but wow! I'm loving it and am able to do it the full time of 22 minutes. Craziness.

I feel better teaching this stuff even and having that attitude, the universe is providing me more students in each class to enjoy it with me and receive the benefits of it. I think more clearly even, especially after the rib banging, but most of all with the 40 day meditation I'm doing (look up Sat Kartar, or kriya for opening the heart with that mantra) I actually feel my heart opening. Literally and figuratively, energetically, all of it. I'm feeling more compassion and love for everyone around me while at the same time able to be more succinct in my delivery of the teachings, and in my regular conversations!

Well, maybe I've never been one known to have "regular" conversations, but you get what I mean I hope.

Life is awesome. I'm holding myself in the vibration of abundance as well, and feel it coming to me. I am abundant, in friendships, in love in my life, in ability to connect with folks easily, I seem to be able to make it through every time I've found myself low in finances and get what I need to survive. I feel the blessings of my life now, in a more acute way.

I feel is the biggest thing, I feel. I feel everything, the breath of every being in close proximity, the openness of their hearts, the stimulation of their skin as the fabric runs across it, mine as well, just everything!

Okay, I want to just keep gushing but I'm off to teach another kundalini class in a bit. I have 4 now and they are all awesome, each in its own way.

Have an awesome week, and take note of the blessings in your life. If just for a moment each day, feel the appreciation for each thing, let the sensation well up inside you until you're ready to burst and then go out and live your day. It will bring you the greatest things!!!

Sat Nam . . .

Winter

Well, on winter solstice I had the most awful, violent upheavals. Vomit and diarrhea. I know, I know. I thought it was from food poisoning, mostly because there was a definitive end to it, but there was more going on.

I had been angry and uptight, upset and crabby for a few weeks before, having lots of energetic upheaval from the previous couple of training weekends stirring up emotional stuff. So that day I was primed for a major release and according to my friend who is into vedic astrology, that was the day it happened on for everyone. A full moon, solstice and a lunar eclipse all on the same day!

So, I had been nervous about Friday, which was Christmas eve, because of family and all that. The release I had from the physical affected me on a deeper level somehow. I let go of all of the ideas I had about what would happen. Went to my mothers early, thoroughly enjoyed her and she enjoyed me and then spent the evening with dad and all went well there too.

So, since then I've had some major turnabouts in my disposition. I've felt better, happier, more energetic, even more wise (if thats possible lol) and have enjoyed teaching more than I ever have before.

The kundalini teacher training has made me a better hatha yoga teacher and in my excitement to teach even hatha yoga, my students have responded better to my teaching and I'm relating better to them and feeling the joy of the relationship between them and themselves on a deeper level, between me and their deeper selves and all sorts of stuff! lol

This year feels great to me, even though we have 10 inches of snow today, even though its been overcast for days. I'm teaching more kundalini classes than ever and getting an awesome response and my hatha classes are better attended. Its all yoga, so from now on I'll just say my yoga classes, all inclusive!

I feel like I'm rambling but I also feel like I have so much more to say but my roommate is sitting here and keeps talking to me so I'm distracted. Maybe more later. Sat nam!!!

New Year

Usually the new year means not so much to me, every day really being an opportunity for a new beginning, as I see it.

THis year feels different though. In the teachings of Yogi Bhajan the Age of Aquarius comes in fully on NOvember 1st of this year, so 11-1-11 and today is 1-1-11, similar huh? And so, also in the teachings, this year is going to be the year of sooo much going on, things coming into our consciousness at full speed, all the time. The weather going haywire (ring a bell? Umm, 65 degrees and tornadoes yesterday, today back to the usual 20s and 30s?). People seeming to go haywire too? Maybe, but I perceived, as I sat this morning at Starbucks, that everyone was in an amazing mood and full of joy. And who cares if that was just my perception, its a good one to have!

I seem to all of a sudden be teaching 4 kundalini yoga classes at studios, starting in a couple weeks, after having none but the one at my house for donations. So the teachings are being required, more and more, and I have a full schedule of hatha yoga classes, or rather my take on hatha lol, as well as two more traditional classes of ashtanga vinyasa yoga, so prosperity is in route! FInancial prosperity anyway, I already have much in my life to be in appreciation of--friends, family and self discipline among them.

So, in a short bit I am off to teach the kick off the year class at Southtown Yoga, which should be packed and a lot of fun. Great students there and my intent is to get some pranayama going and throw lots of stuff in there that will keep them on their toes, get their nervous systems prepared for the times that are here now, no longer just coming, but here. We have to be on top of it!

I feel amazing and as if I'm drawing to me all the things I've been wanting and being in appreciation of the things that are already here. This journey is a marvelous one, even during the times like two weeks ago when my sacrum popped out of place and made my consciousness have to go to a new place to relax it enough so it went back it and then the following week I had the most violent food poisoning I've ever had.

Those violent expulsions from my physical apparatus also felt like an energetic cleansing, getting absolutely every bit of ick out of every little corner, literally and figuratively, so that I can build a much more joyous and loving structure in its place and this time, not a structure that is set, that is solid, but one that is maleable and open to the evolution that will be and is required of it right now and in the coming weeks, months, even years. It feels wonderful to feel this and to be conscious of the feeling of it, even more so.

So, whats on tap for you all?