Last month...

Well, it's the last of my three months practicing with my guru here in Mysore. I'll be here another month after that, but I may travel a little bit, not sure just yet.

This season has been interesting to say the least, more intense than most I would say, but interesting for sure.

It's involved physical injury, wrist pain, cuts and bruises, and all happening on my left side. Left side, right brain, feminine side. Who knows what that means. Maybe I pray to Kali/Chamundi too much! Maybe not enough.

A friend of mine asked me why I'm so drawn to Kali and to write a blog about it, I couldn't come up with anything that sounded poignant enough to write down, but maybe it doesn't have to be, so here it goes.

At first coming to yoga one often sees Ganesh around studios and shalas and then looks him up to find a bunch of his stories, he is known as the removal of obstacles. So is often invoked before taking a trip, before going to work, at the beginning of a day. There is a small Ganesh temple right here in Gokulam that was the first Hindu temple I ever went to, even had a lady who spoke no English have her daughter tell us about the protocol and symbolism in the temple, maybe two seasons ago I think. What you also find out is that he also is often the one who puts the obstacles there as well! So then you have to invoke the energy he embodies within yourself to be able to work your way through whatever problem comes up. Sneaky guy...

Then you find out that his father is Shiva, really he was built from the dirt of his mothers body so has no father, but Shiva is Parvati's husband so he took on the role, and that's a story for another time. Shiva is one of the big three in Hinduism, symbolising the destruction phase of God. Often he is thought of as destroying the things in ones existence that is no longer serving them to make space for new and more beneficial stuff. That's a story I like. When you study him, you find out much more along these lines as well. You also find out there's a whole sect just for him, Shaivites. Then you find out there is another sect that follows Vishnu, Vaishnavites. Then you find out there is a whole sect that worships the mother, the goddess, the shakti. Shaktites, and they believe that the ultimate energy of the universe comes from the goddess energy, the shakti, and that the masculine energy only focuses that, but the real power is from her. That intrigues me, because even though I was never baptised a Christian I was raised in their churches and there really is no feminine principle, not including Catholicism, but the brand of Christian I was raised under also does not even consider Catholics Christians!

Anyhow, I digress. So when you are researching the divine feminine, often this terrifying image called Kali comes up. She is usually dripping blood from her long tongue and teeth, and holding a head in her hand, skulls around her neck and arms around her waist. No thank you, I want nothing to do with this craziness!

Then some young Indian fellow, who is jealous of all the Western students coming here to study yoga (because he is in school to be an engineer to make his parents happy, and wants nothing more than to be a pujari and study yoga and spirituality) befriends you and as you're leaving, he buys you a book- Yogic Secrets of the Dark Goddess. Brilliant fucking book. Pavithra even carries it in the Green House now because I bought it for so many people last season.

This book talks of a womans many experiences of Kali in all her forms and some are softer, some are harder, some involve Krishna, some involve Shiva, some involve Lakshmi. So you start seeing her in a different light and then begin to chant to her and your life seems to be falling apart, but as quickly as it falls apart, other better, newer things come into it and you see, she is the ultimate destroyer but also is like a mother, giving and loving and wanting the best for you.

So you start with where any good pooja in India starts, you invoke Ganesh, then you move to his father, stronger version of the same energy. Then to his mother , who is the most powerful thing you've ever felt in your life. Really also, you're invoking these qualities within yourself, not from outside you at all. So you're seeing your life and its possibilites more clearly, but your also seeing it from a fresh perspective. From a softer, and yet stronger place. Think of water, its the softest thing you've ever encounter, but it also can destroy a whole country with its power or wear down rock to create a groove to flow through. She is the ultimate in creative power, coming from the lower chakras, but embodying the upper chakras. Just aamazing stuff when you invite her in.

So this summer I did a lot of pooja to Kali, nightly for 108 days to be exact, and once I got here I realised I needed to invite her to stay with me more intently again and began this same pooja along with a morning mantra to her and an evening mantra as well. She's definitely shown her face here. I've learned a lot about myself through physical injury and emotional instability, only to come out feeling more stable and more in my power than ever before.

On the softer side I had a great meeting with Sharath and we talked for about 40 minutes, he also gave me his blessing to teach, but in true Kali fashion the other parts of the process toward authorisation have been muddled and even blocked so far. This energy is very much in the soil in India as well, it will teach you your lessons, but will teach them in its own way, and never a way you expect. It's crazy and its wonderful. More on that meeting once I get my certificate, whenever that may be! Hahahaha...

So, that's enough for this afternoon, off to do my evening pooja and to slowly settle in for the evening so I'm able to get up at 2:30am and get to led class. This is last two weeks of practice for this season. It makes me sad, but I'm also ready to move forward and get to my teaching in Germany and then maybe see Sharath in Copenhagen in August, before coming back to India!

Have a great week!