I'm back

Most of you know I'm back in the Midwest. I've been here since last Wednesday, so just over a week. When I flew in my mom picked me up and I went to her house and stayed there until the weekend, to visit with family and just have adjustment time as well. I really enjoyed it oddly enough, I've not enjoyed going to that area formerly known as "home" for many years, but this time I enjoyed being there and spending three days with my mom, grandma and my sister and her family.

Then Saturday I came back into the city, my mom lives on the Illinois side of the river, and started the process of settling in. Settling in used to be something different to me. I used to need to get all the things in all the right places in the room or apartment or wherever I was staying. That just didn't seem to be so this time. I had moved stuff into a friends basement and when I got here I was thinking I'd move quickly into unpacking and getting things all set up around the room I'm staying in, but I wasn't so concerned with that this time. Maybe India had a more profound effect on me than I'd even realized?

Settling in didn't seem to need to happen. Is it because I've decided to get rid of all of my stuff and move to India on my next trip? Or maybe if that's not a possibility as I move through the summer here and check on things, move somewhere else? Hmmm, maybe so. But I don't think that's it at all.

In my past trips I've felt very much depressed when I got home, almost overwhelmingly emotional and distraught at being back here. Not because I hate it here, but because I just love Mysore so much more and the people of India are hard to get out of your heart as well. This trip I didn't feel that way. I felt content, is that the right word?!? I guess so. Content. And most would probably associate contentment with having all the things you want or need in your life, but this type of contentment is the type they talk about in the Yoga Sutras, Santosha. Was I, or rather, am I, actually feeling an inner sense of peace and contentment? I think so yes.

I'm not super happy by any means, but I'm also not super sad at all. I'm somewhere in the middle. As I saw this last week friends posting pics from Mysore and from Varanasi where many went for Sivaratri, a big holiday celebrating the god Shiva, I felt great seeing them, but not sad that I wasn't still there. Now maybe this sense of contentment in seeing these things and not being jealous came from the knowledge that I'm planning to live in India and will get to be back in these experiences soon enough. Okay, that sounds plausible...

I'm still off this week and hanging out with friends and catching up. But also am lining up teaching gigs. My Mysore program starts next week, the Tower Grove Farmers Market yoga class starts April 16th, I'm leading a night as part of a local teacher training introducing people to Ashtanga, my five week intro series is coming up, my Wash U med students class starts in two weeks, I'm teaching at Whitfield School next Tuesday. Then another more interesting thing came up. I was telling one friend many different stories from my temple exposures, Vedic Astrology experiences and the studying I'd done on the gods in Hinduism over there and she asked me to teach a workshop on this stuff. I was like, hmmmm, what sort of thing would this be? So I saw her again another day and we talked about what it could be and then came up with something that I think I'm more excited about than I have been in a long time about anything. That's to come in early May, keep your eyes open for it. But know that I'm excited about it and when I put it out there on Facebook I got a great response to it, so it should be pretty much fun.

So, I'm home, got a lot of exciting stuff lined up and its not so bad as I thought it'd be. Not that I don't like it here, its my home and always will be, but you know, I love India! But I'll be back in her womb soon enough, so time to enjoy and be fully present here in the Lou, see you all soon!!!