Deepening...

I haven't written much lately and the truth is it's because I've been having great conversations lately that have left me fulfilled and I haven't felt the need for release as I often do when writing a blog. Not that I want to vent here, it's not at all what I'm trying to do, but I usually have something to say and the only thing is that it's like giving birth, or releasing something into the world for better or worse.

Lately everything has been shifting. I've been feeling it, in my body, in my mind, in my practice, in my interactions with others and in observation of others and their behaviour towards one another and me. So I open Facebook as I was sitting at my favorite vegan place drinking a coconut water and eating a truffle and someone I met in Mysore last season had written a blog about how everything is shifting and she's feeling it in her practice, mostly in kapotasana using that posture in particular as the crux of the point she was wanting to express, but as I was reading it I also realized that I was having this happen and it was manifesting in my practice.

About a month ago I was in Chicago with four of my students to see David Robson, known in the Ashtanga world as the Learn to Float guy or also the guy with the largest Mysore program, outside of Mysore, on the planet. During the led primary class he kept saying suck your belly back but then would also cue to lengthen the chest or sternum forward also extending the chin to as to gaze at the toes. All of this I've heard before, from my original teacher Nancy Gilgoff, from Kino and a few others. But this time it stuck and made sense and has deepened my experience of forward bending since then. Then it dawned on my that I was in Mysore this last trip and during back bending Youngblood Roche, who was assisting Sharath, kept having me do this same motion which feels to me like its extending from my mid/lower thoracic region of my spine up through my sternum, thereby opening up my chest and my upper spine, then also allowing my shoulders to plug in just right to my back muscles and making standing up and dropping back much more "easy" if there is such a thing. But the aha moment was that it was the same action, just manifested in a different posture, but the connection really opened me up, opened up my mind to a lot of possibility and from that all is shifting.

Noticing these things within the microcosm of my body via my practice has also made me notice how these things are manifesting in the macrocosm of my life. I often think of the time on the mat as my precursor to how my day is going to go and I can make choices as to how to act or react to things, to breathe deeper into them to expand them and let them grow, or even to let them go and feel that surrender and release within my practice, also within my life. So, these deepenings are also showing up in my conversations, as I said earlier, the connections lately have been profound and very deep, whether laughing, crying, or talking philosophy and getting so excited the hairs on my body stand up, those times are times connecting with other people, and thereby deepening our connection to ourselves. I subscribe to the idea that everyone in our life is mirroring an aspect of ourselves back to us allowing us see where we are, and the studies I've done in the Law of Attraction have only proven this to be true.

Mine however as my friends article focused much on a particular posture, has not focused on any one posture in my practice. It's just been overall more deep, another deepening, yes. Having this opening in my spine and in my chest often makes way for big openings on the energetic level, and these areas are the third and fourth chakras, so areas that are often full of blockages for most people so that means the energy may finally be moving in this area for me, which is commonly in yogic terms, or in fluffy modern day yogic terms anyway, known as a "heart opening." I've been very easy to cry, very easy to feel happy and laugh hysterically, very easy to get excited and feel the energy stand my hairs up, but not necessarily so easy to get sad, but very easy to get anxious at times (as in the case of applying to study with Sharath in Mysore again and not finding out whilst all my friends were getting confirmation, then finding housing and then buying the plane ticket, now they are finished and I'm much more calm lol). But mostly its about the feeling and being with it, and then the ease of letting it go, still observing that it's there but not being of it, letting it rule my mind for the rest of the day.

It's also manifesting as an opening in my practice, I'm finding it easier to get up and begin it and maintain the focus throughout it, but also the twists are deeper, the breath is fuller, the backbends are deeper, the shoulders more open, the floating lighter and more controlled and yet free at the same time, the forward bends much more sustainable than they ever used to feel. Just all around, it seems "easier" which I've put in quotes because I don't want to jinx myself and wake up tomorrow to the hardest practice I've ever encountered!

All in all this deepening of life is a good thing, so I embrace it and while things will continue to change and may not be so "easy" as they seem to be right now, I know I'll be able to make it through any and all of it, probably due to my practice. My time on my mat is like a science experiment, a sort of litmus test, to see how I'm going to choose to make it through my day and so I hope to always choose what would seem to be the "right" way of approaching any situation, but I know I won't always choose that way. I like challenges a little bit too much hahaha! But within these challenges I'll still be steadfast and solid in knowing that it's just another part of my path unfolding...