Christmas

I'm not a big one for celebrating this holiday, mostly because of what its become. I don't feel the need to buy people tons of stuff to let them know how I feel. If I'm in your presence by my choice, I pretty much think you're awesome, if not I wouldn't be around you!

But I do like the time with family. I am the kind of person that I'm okay with being around the people I like or if I don't see them for a while, I'm okay with that too. Not too attached, and it seemed to have gotten worse during my Kundalini yoga period (I still practice it some, but meaning the time I was only doing it, and doing it a lot). I had gotten to the point I didn't feel like I wanted to see anyone much, or anything, and then was totally fine when I was around people. Now that I've began practicing Ashtanga as my main practice again, I feel differently. I remember when it changed, sometime over the summer, I started feeling my emotions again more fully, not that I allowed them to rule over me, but that I noticed them being in full swing again, and they hadn't been in a little over 3 years.

Now I'm in touch with that again, I've noticed that I'm enjoying being around family again and older friends that I haven't seen in a while. My past is part of what made me who I am now. I can't just disregard it as I was doing, I need to embrace it for what it is, part of the formation of me, as I am right now. And I like that, and I'm glad that I've shifted to this place, its a much nicer place to be.

Its like being okay with everything, not all the time mind you, I am still a work in progress. But the majority of the time being okay with whatever happens, embracing it and moving forward with it. I.E. my family, much of the time, still calls me Keith even though I expressed much displeasure at this, during the time that I was really doing the Kundalini and living fully as a Sikh, wearing the turban and so forth. They do make the occasional effort to call me Sat Inder, and thats great, but I've slowly shifted into being okay with that. I hear it and it doesn't make me cringe as it once did, and its okay. I was that person at one time, I was named that name at birth and for just short of 40 years went by it. It is a part of my history, and a part of me, and remains so, so its okay. Now I still love being called Sat Inder more and am prone to not always hearing Keith when someone says it to me, but its not the end of the world.

I have a friend, Caleb, who said "you know, Sat Inder just seems like he should have long hair and look more Eastern." He's right, I do feel more apt to deserve the name with my long hair, and am growing it back out, full length, I don't know yet, but longer. And I did love my beard long, it was awesome. So I'm heading back that direction.

I also realize that this is one of the goals of a yoga practice, not just an asana practice, but a full yoga practice. To be okay with the polarities of life, something good is fine, something not as good is fine too, you are okay with whatever happens. Acting, not reacting to life.

Its nice to be here, and not saying it will be a stable place. I imagine I'll have to work at it all the time, but thats okay, at least its a bit easier this week, and thats nice.

The following mantra has become my personal mantra lately and what I base my practice around:

Asato ma sat gamaya

Tamaso ma jyotir gamaya

Mrityor ma amritam gamaya

translation;

Lead me from untruth to truth

Lead me from darkness to light

Lead me from death to everlasting life

I use my practice: asana, pranayama, the application of the yamas and niyamas, meditation, all of it; to bring myself to such a level of awareness at all times that I am able to discern the truth in most situations, to see the light in the midst of the darkness of whatever circumstance I happen to be in the middle of and to see myself as a being of spirit, a spirit that will never die, but will continue one once I throw off the chains of this mortal coil and leave this body behind, I will still be moving forward, growing, expanding, yes, even then.

I love this life I've chosen and intend to keep loving it and moving forward and teaching others these teachings I live by so that maybe they will also have similar results and become more conscious and loving and peaceful.

Namaste!