Blocking the flow

I read a few lines in Erich Schiffman's book recently about growth and how growth only hurts when we resist the change that is happening, or resist the flow of our life.

Why do we do this?

I know we as children come into bodies and remember our connection, at least until the grown-ups in our lives work their "magick" on us, making us realize how awful it really is and then we start to have fear and ackwardness about, well, almost everything.

I know why they do it, they've forgotten it all. About how we're all source energy in a human body and how the better we feel, the more things will flow into and through our lives, the more people will too, the more experiences we'll have along the way that are awesome, amazing and life changing.

But unless we find a path, a "spiritual" path, we usually cannot figure these things back out and start heading back in the right direction. The right direction for us that is, not THE right direction, because there isn't one path for everybody on the planet, there is one path for each individual on the planet. At least this is the way it seems to me.

I fell as if I've been disallowing, or resisting my own growth lately, and I have felt shitty all week. Not shitty like I wanna kill myself type stuff, but just less than I know I can feel. I figured it out though when I read that line in Erich's book. Oh shit, thats what I've been doing, and so I cried to myself a bit. Realization is the first step in the process of moving forward.

Now today, I don't feel fabulous, but I feel a bit better than I did and now I work toward feeling a bit better than that, and so on and so forth.

Tonight there's a kirtan, which could help. I teach another class, which could help and eat some raw, vegan food, which could help. All things that help me feel lighter, wish I had time for a practice myself, that would definitely help.

So, no more blocking the flow, but even as I say that I'm sure I will. We all do, being in such a vehicle, these bodies, its almost impossible not to forgot the beings of light we really are.

So, I state it again. No more blocking the flow. Be like water, water moves in, around or through everything, eventually. Even stuck in an eddy it spins and moves looking for the way. So I shall do this in my life as well, to the best of my ability. Not get stuck in a corner and if I do, move around the edges looking for my way in, around or through!!!