No title necessary

So, yesterday I turned 41. Not a big deal as far as birthdays goes, it was a low key day mostly. I chilled at Starbucks with a frappacino for a bit, I did some shopping at Target and Whole Foods, I went to a pool party and then to a dinner I had organized for my birthday at Ranoush.

The pool party was interesting, it was gay men, too much smoking going on and lots of drinking. Neither of which interest me anymore. Had a great conversation with a local news weatherman and his friend, whom I ended up finding myself attracted to, the friend, not the weatherman, although the weatherman is a hottie too. I didn't stay long because of the dinner party I had already planned, so I had dinner at my favorite restaurant with a few of my favorite people, very nice.

Sunday my sister, her husband and kids and our mom came over to let my nephew play at the drum circle and we went to dinner for my birthday then too. It was nice as well. Lots of nice going on. I keep expecting big booms of things happening because I feel them heading my way, but they aren't ready to appear just yet.

I am moving from the house I've lived in with a couple for over 3 years now, into a little apartment of my own that will be cheaper than living with them. Thats bothered me today, after I wrote them the email I found myself feeling sad about it, but that will pass. Its also a big change for me.

Just before the move I'll be in New Mexico for 2.5 weeks at summer solstice with many kundalooneys and Sikhs, managing the luggage team for the event. That alone is a big boom to me. I've never once in my life taken responsibility, on purpose, and here I am going to manage something?!? Something is for sure wrong with me, I can't have grown up all of a sudden in the past year. Going thru the kundalini certification course, taking amrit and this last white tantric, all, must've had a more profound effect on me than I'd had any clue about.

The thing that is most surprising to me is that I'm not afraid of any of these changes that are coming, they almost don't even register on my radar! What is that about? Is this neutral mind? I wonder, hmmmm...

I should be in bed, I'm sleepy, I'm not in the mood to read or be on this computer, at all, but I just felt like writing on here, not in my journal. I really dislike writing in a journal anyway, but every so often I feel compelled to, for some reason.

So, I think I'm off here for now, I'm hoping you all are having amazing adventures, as I believe life is supposed to be just that, a neverending series of adventures, embraced and held in no attached way. Just experienced. We're here in a body, whether for the millionth time, or the first, to have experiences. To have experiences that we can't have as spirit, with more intensity than is in spirit, because the contrast is so intense. I'm sure everything in spirit form is intense so the contrast is lessened, but no, not here! lol

Have a lovely sleep tonight those who read this, if there even is still anyone who reads it. It doesn't matter if there is or not to me, its just that I think maybe its more cathartic if someone else is still? Who knows!

Sat nam!!!