Not sure, but I feel like I want to write. So here it goes...
Today was the kickoff to the Tower Grove Park Farmers Market and therefor the first yoga class involved with it, that I teach of course. 92 people showed up to listen to me tell them what to do, where to put their feet, when to inhale and exhale, curse (which I do a lot, but it gets funny reactions), talk to them about about the earth around them, the air brushing across their skin and tempt them into hanging out and buying crepes, baked goods, and some of the best locally grown veggies around.
It was a lot of fun, a lot, and then slowly everyone left. Very often its a large group that hangs out and plays frisbee and enjoys one another and long talks, long walks. Today, none of that. Many, many people I consider friends came, but then they all left. It was okay, I just got in my car and came home, then I took a nap. Sometimes being out in nature gives me a rush of energy and today it proved to be too much, my friend was telling me that vata is high right now around here so thats why, who knows. The energetics of being in nature does flow thru me though and even more so now that I'm so clear from all the energy work of kundalini yoga I do, and the hatha yoga too.
So, anyhow, I took a nap which usually helps that dissapate. Not so today, it got worse, so I took my turban off thinking uncapping the bottle would release the pressure, not so again, it just got worse. So I went for a drive, took a walk, then called and got some thai foot reflexology, which is awesome btw,and it cleared out the headache but opened the channels for the energy to flow freely so now I'm feeling loopy! lol
Okay, thats all fine and good, but in the midst of some of that I began feeling lonely. Lonely like, wanting a partner, wanting to cuddle, that type of stuff. Loneliness is not something that visits me often these days, since I feel so connected to source almost all of the time I feel fulfilled all of the time. I did not feel a disconnect today, so why the loneliness? Are we destined to want the company of other corporeal beings? Maybe so. I also think I'm craving to be around a bunch of like-minded beings, and will be next month at summer solstice. I love all of my friends and all of them are so supportive of my lifestyle, maybe not all of the gay friends since they don't understand why I wouldn't want to be out partying and drinking with them all the time like I used to, but would rather stay at home with a rage wrapped around my head meditating! lol, thats their problem, the ones I converse with often are understanding and even supportive, but they aren't in the same belief system so its still different.
Now, I'm a big believer in the fact that everyone has their own religion, because we all formulate our own systems of belief even within a religion or spiritual path, but you get what I'm saying right?
I'm good, really, just letting some of this stuff out which sometimes helps to process it and let it move on its merry way. But we all have thoughts, we all have questions, even when we are strong in our connection to source, strong in our sense of self, right? Or am I the only one? I don't think I am. I think we're all so different and yet so much the same that you get what I'm saying. I hope you in your time of doubt, or questioning, or disconnect have someone to chat to about it or something cathartic like this to let go of it into and allow it to help you through it.
On this the eve of mothers day, I say to you who are mothers, bless you. We really do know that you're doing the best you can with what you've got going on in that head of yours, even if we don't realize it until much later in life. Our ji's or souls know, even if we may never figure it out in the physical form, once we move on, we remember. So happy mothers day to you and yours.
Sat Nam ji's, much love to you all. Many blessings on you too!!!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
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3 comments:
92 people-that's amazing, wasn't the weather incredible this weekend?!
I understand the loneliness feeling sometimes. All alone with everything and everyone around me. Trying to find others with similar (or somewhat close) beliefs and priorities is tough. They are out there...somewhere...
A side note, since you are a Kundalini fan. I tried a Kundalini yoga DVD today and I am NOT a fan. It felt very jerky and changing my breath to match my movement (rather than the other way around) felt very uncomfortable. I am Vata dominant so the flowing yoga feels more grounding. Should I try it again? Hmmmm...
Enjoy your day!!
If you're using just a dvd then the class may not be the one for you, I would say try it again but there are thousands of different kriya sets and maybe some other will resonate. The thing is, hatha yoga does the same thing, it just takes longer, it clears the channels and opens up the systems, kundalini just does it more quickly. If a vinyasa practice is what resonates with you then do it! I do both, but the kundalini has become a part of my morning sadhana so is my spiritual practice, the hatha keeps me strong and flexible and feels more like a workout to me these days, but I wouldnt' have gotten my energy channels opened to the point they are without it, now I can feel the movement of energy and appreciate its flow when I am practicing the kundalini. Kundalini yoga is more concerned with moving the energy, than the strengthening of the body, so there are other things like not drinking, not eating things that clog me up, that also accentuate the movement of energies. I could go on forever but I'm sure you get my drift. If you're doing something and it doesn't feel good, then you shouldn't be doing it. Sat nam
you are just right. thanks for being you. you bring me strength when i know you can be down and share it. i really love you. sometimes i can't get up for long enough to say it in person. so love you right now, at least, giant beard and ups and downs and all.
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