India pt. 2

Yes, I'm calling this India part 2, not because I'm going to write more about India, although I could do that, but mostly because I believe India is still working it's magic on my life.

I still feel like I'm walking and doing most things in a daze, or not a daze, I'm coherent, but more like I'm watching a movie, observing all these things happening to this guy in the film, he looks a lot like me but more blonde and thinner, maybe a bit better looking too...lol.

So, I'm trying to figure out what that means. I felt that way much of the time in India, like I was observing this guy schlep about, to eat lunch, to take a shower, to have a nap, to meet friends for an outing, to bed. The only time I never felt like I was watching myself, but felt like I was actually the doer and be er of the situation was when I was walking to the shala in the morning, that walk was sacred to me most mornings. It was quiet, other than the one time I woke the dogs up and they barked at me half the way in, but then when I walked up the steps, left my shoes on the porch and walked into the foyer to either wait or be called in to practice, at that point, when Sharath said "One More" and pointed to me to come in, that's when the observer took over and the rest of my day was viewed through his lense.

Right now, and a large part of today, I felt completely present and not in this state, so maybe it's something that will change eventually much like my getting use to being here again, with time.

So, now I'm living my life back in the routine, almost exactly the same routine that I grew into before I left. Yes, I'm saying that with a little vitriol, meaning I love teaching and love teaching Ashtanga most, so when I'm doing that and counting the breaths (which I've been doing since I got home) I feel the most happy, comfortable and at peace with myself that I do all the rest of the day. So what can I do to shake things up? Teach more? Where? Go on a float trip? (that I'm doing in a couple weeks) Go away for a weekend somewhere new? Yes, that sounds good. Move? Yes, I want to move, somewhere new here? Somewhere completely new and start all over again? Maybe...

I don't know, but this an invite to the universe to shake things up, maybe not violently and with smoother edges than it had last week, please? But yes, I'm ready for new things, new blood, new paths to tread, new corners to stick my nose into, just plain new stuff!

So, if you read this, consider yourself invited to join me for the ride, or to facilitate something new, we're all in this together, so let's act like it!!!

India

Ok, it's been a while since I've written, but I didn't have a computer after Seabrook left so I'm home now, and I'm starting to feel "normal" again, unfortunately lol, so I'm writing now.

I think I've mostly kept you all updated on many fronts, on here a bit, on Facebook a lot and since I've been back I filled some of you in, a bit.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to just sit down and talk about what the experience was like, because it's something that sticks with you and slowly integrates, but integrates in a way (so far anyway) that is very personal and private and not something there may even be words to share it with. So I'll do my best to tell a story, or share an anecdote as they come up in normal conversation and just in life in general.

I've decided that I'll be going back to Mysore in November/December to study with Sharath some more. There are no authorized or certified teachers in our area, I'm pretty much one of the only two who've been over there to do the deeper work in this system, in St. Louis anyway, there are a few in Chicago and maybe some other areas semi close, but not here. Since I don't have a teacher I really absorbed everything Sharath told me or shared with me and do my best to utilize it in my practice and have decided that I'll be the authorized teacher in the area, eventually, and so need to travel over there at least once a season to stay fresh in his mind as a practitioner, but also to keep the learning fresh in my being. As I learn, you all benefit from it as well. I'm not sure how it'll all come out tomorrow at my first class since I've returned but we'll see, it'll be a surprise for us all!

I did finish the primary series over there, under his tutelage and have actually been having amazing practices since I've been home. When you finish primary series in India you start to work on deep back bending before the closing sequence, to balance out the forward bending, and that is what I'm working on at home. If you come to my classes you know we do three or so back bends before a deep forward bend and then the inversions of the closing sequence, well when you're there you learn the stand up from your third back bend and and then drop back, then you do that a couple more times, then someone is meant to be helping you do half drop backs to open up the spine more and then you work towards grabbing or "catching" as Sharath calls it, your ankles and yes from the drop back...

Since I've been home I've been able to stand up and drop back but today I practiced with a friend who just did a teaching immersion with Kino MacGregor and she was able to help me do the half drop backs, which was awesome.

Before I left I had a meeting with Sharath about my practice and how to proceed, he asked me when I was coming back I said I hoped to in the fall and he said just do primary and work on the back bending all summer, to get my spine opened up and the energy flowing, the nervous system good and toned, then when I come back he'll start me on the intermediate series, if I was coming back later he said maybe he would have me work on Pashasana, the first posture of intermediate series. So that is what I'm doing. When you have as talented a teacher as he is as your teacher you listen to them. He knows my stuff and where it is in my body and mind, so I trust him.

I'm missing aspects of India but am feeling more at home again here, although I will say this. People here are scattered, all caught up in their head and act frazzled all the time, but folks, life here is fairly simple and easy flowing, so get over that shit! In India life is crazy, there is everything, yes literally everything, happening all at once and yet the people stay calm, focused and present. They are resolved to their karma and believe there is nothing they can do about it so just stay focused on the task at hand, in the present, not worrying about things they can't do anything about until they get to them, like we do, but present, right where they are at that very moment.

So we need to work on this. Come to yoga class, but for gods sake start studying the deeper aspects of the philosophy and put it into play in your life, learn how to be present and observing of what's in front of you at that time and deal with that and only that then, then the next thing, then the next...etc...

Well, that's enough for now. I have to go catch up on RuPaul's Drag Races' newest season and watch the first episode of Game of Thrones before the new episodes of each in the next few days, but I'm also tired and ready to chill before teaching at the farmers market tomorrow and teacher training all afternoon.

So take care, and be present!