Openings...

So, anyone who's taken on the Ashtanga Vinyasa system as their practice will understand the title of this post. So no, I'm not referring to a job opening, or a store opening, but an opening that is a physical thing, and a physical thing that translates to a mental thing, and an energetic thing.

Our bodies, from doing the same things over and over again, slowly open. Muscles release from tissues, ribs start to gain more flexibility, bones start to move and many other things. It sounds crazy, but its true, and its very fulfilling because with these openings the energy starts to flow and when the energy is unblocked our lives become unblocked, meaning we have less resistance to things that come up and allow the flow to happen almost all the time.

The problem is, and its not really a problem but anyway, the problem is that when you're going through an "opening" phase, you're sore as fuck lol!!! And then it calms down and if you keep the practice up and don't slack off to allow the soreness to go away, you get the benefits of the opening.

So this week I'm going through an opening period, yesterday was a full moon too so I'm sure the intensity of that added to it, but I was glad for the day off the practice and even practiced some kundalini yoga with a friend, which made me more sensitive to the energetics of this opening period, so very nice it can be, even though its intense.

I've been practicing a bit more kundalini to get really clear as the openings happen, and I do love it even though I'm not immersed in it right now, it is amazing work. Much like the Ashtanga system. They are both tough, regimented practices that are very traditional and those traditions were to cause transformations within the practitioner, so how can I complain? I'm asking for it! lol... Yes I am, and I appreciate and love it even if it is hard sometimes.

I will say this, I've been on with my practices lately, super strong in them, not slacking and this full moon, mercury in retrograde (which just went direct), the way people are acting sooo crazy out there in the world and the intensity of life right now, have seemed less so. And I credit it with me being so strong with them right now, so now I'm seeing another benefit of keeping up these practices that have become so dear to me.

Today, I had a few plans, all of which ended up getting canceled so most of the day I ended up being alone, I took a nap, I watched a movie, I went to the park and meditated in the woods, I read 5 chapters in a book I'm reading. All of these things I've not been satisfied with in the past few weeks, but I kept strong to my practice and now I'm back to being okay with the being alone, feeling fulfilled just with my own company, and happy to be back here because I've always loved my alone time. To not enjoy it for about 3 weeks was hard for me.

So when you find yourself having some down time, do you enjoy it even if you're all by yourself? I think so many folks do not, because they've been raised in an environment of constant stimulation so they aren't sure what to do with themselves when they get that time. So maybe take up some yoga, even just a few times a week. Ideally that will lead you to some meditation too, or if you do some kundalini yoga, it will include active meditations which are great for beginners because it gives your mind something to occupy it and then you can dive deep into yourself, your spirit, and come out on the other side of it calmer, and maybe will enjoy your down time, when you have it.

So the openings in the physical body led me to openings in my mind that led me to openings in my schedule, which allowed me to enjoy the openings in my mind. The mental openings equate to a feeling of peace to me. Space to just be, with the trees in the woods, with the words in the book I'm reading and the images that came up in my mind from those words, with the friends I had lunch with and the conversation we had, or coloring with their daughter on her childrens menu, with the warmth of the sun as it beat down on my skin on this warmer of days we seem to be having this fall, and now as I sit and write this for you, and for me too.

Ok, love to you all, now to go be present with some Vampire Diaries! LOL

Sunday night

So, I've not been inspired to write in a while. Writing to me has to flow and come out naturally, instinctually, but I haven't been having that regularly now for a few months. I've sat down and tried to make myself write, but that always starts out icky and just gets ickier, but I've still posted some of them.

This weekend I worked on one teacher training, and then another. Both were great, I love teaching all these people that are wanting to share yoga with others just as it was shared with them. But I also started thinking...

There are so many teacher trainings going on right now, and I'm a believer in abundance so I'm not concerned having so many teachers around because I believe there is enough to go around. The problem, if you want to call it a problem, is that most people have no business teaching. Lots of them have practiced for a very short time and not dug in deep enough to their own practice yet, if they even maintain a self practice, and/or studied with a teacher, one teacher, for very long. And I know that once upon a time the student stayed with the teacher and maybe lived apart from them, but studied with them sometimes for years before they gave them the okay to go out and teach. It may even still be that way in India, but I don't know.

I do think the Western approach has expanded and grown the Eastern teachings exponentially, so in that respect I think its a great thing, but then our Western way of doing everything too quickly and with less integrity has also infected the process, and that may not be such a good thing. I do believe that everything is working out just the way its meant to be working out and so its all good, but I can have these thoughts and its okay, I've made my peace with it.

I think the main concern I have is that I'm seeing so many come through, who are not practicing yoga as a mainstay in their life. They're still saying they don't have enough time and taking a class when they can fit it in, rather than using the teachings to create a practice of their own, on their own, not in a led class. And yes, I do think thats an important part of the process. How can you integrate and grow and expand when you're always pushing outwardly, rather than using your practice to go inside and dig in deep to that inner being. When you have to stay external to listen to a teacher it just doesn't happen, sure you can have some amazing experiences anyway, but not go in deep.

I don't know, maybe I'm making too much out of it. I seem to be unable to make up my mind on anything right now, so maybe this is just another symptom of that? I cut my hair, I cut my beard, both after taking vows not to. I now all weekend have had the urge to clipper my hair off really short, while letting my beard grow long, even though I know I'll hate it because I like it longer in the winter. I'm having trouble practicing because of tightness around my sciatic nerve (that I also went through the first time I practiced ashtanga, but once it went away it was gone for good) so the practice has been slow and not a full series lately, so I'm sure thats affecting me too, I've just been plain busy too this past week, which will change this week because of the holiday. I've also had a weird headache the past two days which isn't something I've had since I smoked back in 2000.

I don't know, its all good, I feel amazing most of the time and am relaxed most of the time and happy most of the time, so whats my problem?

Who knows, I'm fine, I know that, or am I not??? Maybe I'm crazy and all of this is shit and doesn't matter??? Maybe? LOL

Thats enough of my crazy for the night, take care all and remember, don't pay any attention to anything I say on here. I don't know a damn thing! Never have, and never will!!!

.......

Another weekend is coming to a close, this one was a bit different in that I started it off teaching the Happy Hour class at Prana that I set up to teach a while back but have had obligations since then and only was able to once. I had 6 people, it was a fun class. Then Saturday I taught the teacher trainees at Yogasource all day long, it being the last weekend we took it kind of easy, had a nice lunch and got out early, and then today they graduated. It was my first experience training teachers and I have to say I loved and they were a great group. We're going to set up a community class for them to teach at Yogasource on Sundays so they can get the experience of teaching, I think it will go over well. I'm re-reading Kino's book Sacred Fire and getting all inspired to dedicate myself to Ashtanga Yoga again, as my path, not just as a path but as my path. I've decided to change most of my classes over, keeping only my Sunday class as Align and Flow, I haven't decided when but that doesn't necessarily matter yet since I'm teaching most of them using that sequencing already. But dedicating myself to it seems like it lines up all my energy in one direction, not scattering it all about and wasting it. It feels right. There's just so much to it and talking with people who are taking the classes and/or practicing it as their main practice it just solidifies it in my being that there is so much power in it. Doing the same thing over and over until you get the opening, the space and the flow through that area of the body and then moving forward, adding on one asana at a time is just so wise. I love it! So I didn't finish yesterday, so now its Monday and the weekend has already come to a close, sorry, had a late dinner with some lovely friends and got home and got in bed to read then fell asleep early. Today I went to practice, then teach the Mysore class, then had breakfast and a mani/pedi after, very nice! I don't get them terribly often and so I feel spoiled lol. I know, I know, I am spoiled but I create a great life for myself, I do! So, lots of thoughts and processing stuff floating around through my mind so I'm not too sure where I was intending to go when I started this entry yesterday, so I'm going to close and come back to it later this week or weekend. I'm going to visit a good friend of mine from my Kundalini training down in Southwest Missouri Thursday thru Saturday and then come home to see Pilobolus perform, so it may not be until early next week, but I've got a lot going on in there, so there is much to come out, so I promise to write again soon. Much love to you all! Change your mind right now, chose to be happy and positive even in the midst of adversity and struggle, its hard but sooooo worth it!!!